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51
51
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there Tim Chiu
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Read & Review. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

This was about to be a fun read about the certain charms of feminine wiles. And indeed it was that!

Further Thoughts:

Your descriptive verses with melodious rhyme was as well endowed as the woman's assets described. You painted vivid pictures. But not just that ... as a woman with my own assets, I could picture this from the point of view of the lady catching the glimpses of her male friends enjoyment of her company. *Laugh*

Parting Thoughts:

Good job with the rhythm and rhyme and the expertise of men's minds at work when a lady has got their attention in a most beguiling way.


Well done! *Heel*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
52
52
Review of The King  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Read & Review, where you never know when what you have buried deep in your port will come back to haunt you. *Ghost*

Initial Thoughts:

Well, you wrote it so I was sure to get a giggle out of it. Yup --*Laugh*

Further Thoughts:

I guess this was a contest based on the music by The Verve and you had to write it in 100 words. It's not an easy task to do a story in 100 words. You handled this one well.

Parting Thoughts:

We have a king, we have a queen and a bottle of blue pills.

Now we get to the meat of the problem here that "The Drugs Don't Work."

Actually from the ending It stood to do a royal job indeed. *Rolling*

Conclusion:

100 words story witha humorous ending!

Good job! *Web2*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*








*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
53
53
Review of Lambzilla  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Beholden
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review!

First Impressions:


Your item popped up on the Random Review click.

I knew I was about to read a clever take on Mary Had a Little Lamb. Now, I can't get that nursery rhyme out of my head. Oh, gee, thanks for that --I think! *Laugh*

Further Thoughts:

This was crisp, humorous, well-rhymed and impeccable rhythm. That's a whole lot of good stuff rolled into that one statement! *Laugh*

Parting Thoughts:

I enjoyed the images that popped up in my mind as I read through the lines. I think I like your version over the original.

Conclusion:

Good job! I found nothing that distracted me from the flow. It was melodious as it should be.

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
54
54
for entry "A caring gift
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there jaya
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest Thank you for entering the December Holiday Rush, Cherished Gift prompt. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

You used the gift prompt well. It wasn't a tangible item wrapped in pretty paper and bows. It was a spark of love and caring and traveling to where that would continue. This special gift brought you back to your full healthy lifestyle both physically and emotionally.

Further Thoughts:

What a beautiful, loving family along with your son who convinced you to come stay with them for a while. He went to India to bring you to his home in Georgia.

The fresh air, the sightseeing the doting grandchildren ...wonderful gifts!

Parting Thoughts:

You've hit the message that some people can't see in their own lives. A gift does not have to be wrapped and handed over to one. It is truly a gift when one cannot put their hands on it but enjoy healing benefits that are life changing. *GemV*

Conclusion:

Lovely story. It fit handily within the prompt. *TeapotB*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*







*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
55
55
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, intuey of House Lannister
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest Thank you for entering the Holiday Rush's A Cherished Gift prompt in December. *Bigsmile*

First Impressions:

I felt the joy of Christmas as told through the eyes of a youthful you all those many years ago.

I see how beautiful the family celebration of Christmas was at your home. Your father was a generous man who loved to see his kids eyes shine on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. What a lovely idea of separating the family gifts on the Eve and the gifts from "Santa" on the morning of Christmas. I imagine there was a lot of excitement amongst the children at that time.

Further Impressions:

The story explains what the special gift is. The gift did not have to be something tangible, merely a gift that would be a part of one's life from then on. This lesson learned was indeed life changing. It was character building and it brought humility that was lacking in a nine year old's perception of self importance.

Parting Thoughts:


It is a bittersweet story as the lesson was only learned after loved ones were hurt and saddened by a youth's reactions. I wonder if your aunt made you the Ralphie pink bunny costume the following year to make you cringe in embarrassment. *Laugh* (Christmas Story of course.)

My heart felt your regret at causing so much disappointment that Christmas morning. However, a lasting impression was made by your dad's reaction to your being such a rude brat. *Scared*

Conclusion:

A fine interpretation of a cherished gift. It made you who you are today. Indeed this is a lesson shared in life from a loved one. It was a tough lesson to learn, but one that lasted a lifetime molding who you now are.
*Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

Thank you for sharing! *Biking*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*







*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
56
56
Review of What's In A Gift?  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Zehzeh
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest Thank you for entering the Holiday Rush's A Cherished Gift prompt in December. *Bigsmile*

First Impressions:

This is a beautiful story about a cherished gift of a well-used and bruised and baked-in stained tin pie plate that brought many years of happy cooking and food enjoyed with its multi-purpose baking magic. Whether it be lemon meringue pie or a version of Mac and Cheese or Cottage Pie, you received the love through these meals made in that tin.

Further Impressions:


Rules were followed. You wrote a story about a cherished gift. The word count was given.*CheckP*

I enjoyed your narrating about why this gift is so special to you and all the memories it holds. You now are now the caretaker of this lovely memory of your mom. May many wonderful baking creations be enjoyed with the next generation.

Observations:

"When my mum died, she did not leave behind much. Just enough money to cover her funeral costs and buy a momento [memento]

One memorable week dad's wages had a big bite taken out of them, something to do with taxes, and were were skint.*

Apparently dad [did] not like kidneys.

Parting Thoughts:

This is a lovely story of how this cherished gift passed on to you after your mom's death keeps these precious memories alive.

Your story brings in the sacrifices made all those years ago as well as the cooking/baking blunders that shows the true human side of life that things don't always turn out the way they were planned.

Conclusion:

That wonderful tin will have stories accompanying it for generations to come.

Good job! *Blueberries*

Until Next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*








*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
57
57
Review of A Cherished Gift  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, J.R. PETE
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest Thank you for entering our Holiday Rush, Cherished Gift prompt in December. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

You take the reader a little bit into your life as a youth and the abusive nature of your father. He had no faith in you ever succeeding at anything. He was wrong!

Further Thoughts:

This is a lovely story that unfolded from a college romance with the woman you would marry. Although college life was not taken seriously as you preferred to party rather than study, this young lady won your trust and your heart. What a wonderful gift for you!


Rules Followed?
*BoxCheckB*

A Non-fiction story describing a special/cherished gift. Word count given.

Observations:

POV change here.

I came up to visit her. We both saved for the following semester for the costs of books, fees, and supplies. There was a significant setback for you when your mom took your savings without your knowledge and spent it on herself.
It seems you narrate the story about what took place, however, you change the POV to speaking directly to her.

I can remember we were up at your Grandparents when we got engaged.
Time blurs ahead to three days before Christmas. ["]You had a terrible fight with your mom on the phone; the receiver is slammed down, and you turn to me, (")Let's get married now."

Other than POV switch, there should be quotation marks where you speak to your bride-to-be and where she responds.


Parting Thoughts:

A Christmas eve wedding is so special. Immediate family there -- shows that those who really loved and cared for you celebrated this special event with you.

Conclusion:

Well done! *Tea*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
58
58
Review of Contest Entries  
for entry "The Special Gift
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Angelica- House Florent B & W
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest Thank you for entering December's Holiday Rush Contest, Special Gift prompt.

Initial Thoughts:

This was a brief entry yet right to the point. Although a little more building up of the story could have given a better image in a reader's mind of the family member and why it was so beloved to an author at that particular time in life. Was it a special birthday? Was it Christmas? However the favorite colored paper was unforgettable, so which special occasion didn't really matter. *Smile*

Further Thoughts:


It is about a gift you received that made such an impression on you. It is a writer's joy to have a beautiful journal to be able to record thoughts and events and amazing travels. The muse is quite occupied with it. Also, the special cover of the journal's pages showed the universe and planets, and is a reminder of who created all of this beauty.

Parting Thoughts:


It is lovely that this journal keeps the thoughts and memories of receiving that special gift from a beloved family member. She may live half a country away, but her gift has been a precious keepsake to you.

Conclusion:


Well done! *Writer*






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
59
59
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch




Hello there, HollisFrances
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review. *Angelic*

I'm also reviewing your entry as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest Thank you for entering December's Holiday Rush contest, "Special Gift" prompt.

Initial Thoughts:

Your brief description states biographical. The reader knows it will be Non-fiction, a life experience that made a huge impression on the writer.

Further Thoughts:

It was quite interesting reading about the missile launchers and the workings of it and what happens when the system has a break-down in smooth and expected results from the mechanics involved. It could have been a disaster if not handled properly.

I found your character to be amusing and very clever and intelligent. Perfect match for this kind of work.

Observations:

It's now about 6PM, 1800, and the last two missiles are assemble[d] but stuck on their hosts!

Parting Thoughts:

This was quite a gift given back with back pay, but mostly with the respect of the others aboard who were grateful and relieved by the success of finding the missile launcher's problems.

Conclusion:

Thank you for your service to our country.
Quite a success story. Bravo!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*








*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
60
60
Review of A Cherished Gift  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, The Puppet Master
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review. *Angelic*

I'm also reviewing your entry as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest Thank you for entering December's Holiday Rush contest, "Special Gift" prompt.

Initial Thoughts:

This story is Non-fiction as shown above the brief description and as per the rules.

Further Thoughts:

This was a heartwarming story about a puppeteer who received a cherished gift of a favorite handmade fox hand puppet, that was dubbed "Franky" to use in shows and entertain children.

Enid was the person who created the cat and the fox puppets custom made for the entertainer's hands. The fox was the one puppet that would always be special and favored over all the other puppets.

Parting Thoughts:

This was a quick read. There was enough to let the reader know how the gift became so cherished. The story could have been fleshed out a little more, but then, the prompt was pretty flexible about the cherished gift and why. It appears you covered that.

Conclusion:

The conclusion had it's sadness as Enid died from a battle with cancer. However, it is also sweet that part of Enid's handiwork remains used for years of joy in her memory.

Well done!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
61
61
Review of Second Chapter  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Hello there Sumojo
I am reviewing your item as a judge at
 
SURVEY
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR)
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
#1207944 by Writing.Com Support

Thank you for entering the WDC Official Contest in November. *Bigsmile*





Initial Thoughts:

Interesting title and brief description. It intrigues the reader to delve into the story and see how the second chapter of her life unfolds.

Further Thoughts:

The background of her initial living situation and all of her predictable daily routine are well established. She is a proprietor of a small, usedbook store in a little coastal town in Ireland.

It is a story of a grand metamorphoses that changes her attitude on life forever.

Observations:

"and wondered however she’d existed before this new and exciting pastime."

There are a couple spots where the space formatting is off.

Parting Thoughts:

The quotation is well-blended into the story: “I’ve strayed so far from normal now, I’ll never find my way back.
And the truth is, I no longer want to.”


Emily, aka Jessica, awakened to a part of life she never before lived, nor had she missed prior to delving into social chat sites. Her life changes were dramatically changed from her "old"life as the lone Miss Emily, book shop owner, predicable to all the townspeople up to that point.

Conclusion:

Good job with the quotation prompt!


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*




This has been a "The WDC Angel Army Review *Angelic*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
62
62
Review of Hard to Come by  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Hello there WakeUpAndLive️~🚬🚭2024
I am reviewing your item as a judge at
 
SURVEY
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR)
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
#1207944 by Writing.Com Support

Thank you for entering the WDC Official Contest. *Bigsmile*





Initial Thoughts:

A young boy grows up with three older sisters. He was practically raised by them since his mom and dad worked 24-7 at their store. ( This strikes me as a little unbelievable since they either worked different shifts to cover the store or they never slept. *Laugh* )

Further Thoughts:

The story is told rather quickly about Chris. He had a gift that developed over the years and a sensitivity as to a woman's needs. He understood them. He became very good at giving massages to women.

Observations:

Opening paragraph ...

"At first, he thought he only was a sensitive lad, susceptible to what women needed because of the family with three sisters he was born in [into.] Carla, Bianca, and Thea were older than little Chris and practically raised the young lad to adulthood.

This paragraph is rather wordy and doesn't capture the heart of the story. *Idea* TRY: Chris was a kind and sensitive boy, the youngest child, with three older sisters. They spent many hours caring for him during the long days their parents worked at the grocery store they owned His childhood was filled with love, laughter and fun.

I believe the opening paragraph should be powerful enough to hook the reader, make them want to know more about Chris and his background.

Parting Thoughts & Suggestions:

You had a 2000 word count limit. There was so much more fleshing out of this character and his gift. Rather, the story seems a bit rushed with only 403 words. The result is, a reader doesn't have a true vision of who Chris is and thus has no connection at all with him.

The ending seemed to wrap up his life with a statement of making thousands of women happy without showing it to the reader within the story. This made it mostly tell rather than show the power of healing Chris possessed.

Conclusion:

There is a full story about this character that could be told. It has some interesting points touched upon, his ability to understand women's needs without asking. It is because of his happy childhood with his sisters that helped mold him into the man he became.

You have all the framework for a lovely story. It just needs more filling-in.


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*




This has been a "The WDC Angel Army Review *Angelic*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
63
63
Review of Morgan  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Hello there, Simply Me

I am reviewing your item as a judge at
 
SURVEY
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR)
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
#1207944 by Writing.Com Support

Thank you for entering the WDC Official Contest. *Bigsmile*






Initial Thoughts:


Morgan as a title and a tale of two horses as a brief description lets the reader know the story is about the love of a horse or horses. Morgans are beautiful horses.

Further Thoughts:

It's a lovely prose-poem delivered in a story form about two Morgans, once wild. One Morgan allowed itself to be broken and became an inside horse. She was treated with care, well-groomed and kept warm and loved by her owner.

The twin filly on the other hand preached being wild and free.

Parting Thoughts:

The wild filly barely knew her twin after all the wonderful care. Even her tail was braided and the twin asked what happened to her. She communicated her joy with her comfortable life on the inside.

The reader is left to wonder if the wild Morgan would finally give in to the breaking of the wildness and join a more comfortable and caring side of the stable ... the inside.

Conclusion:

As I stated above, I consider this more of a poem. This could have been a terrific story if allowed a less rhyming form and a longer tale about horses and the owner's love for them. The reader would have loved to know how one was broken and the other remained obstinate. It's obvious the wild one is not "free" to run through the wilderness. It's just an outside horse with a stubborn streak.

Nice poetic tale but needs more story to flesh out the how to train a horse and how to keep a wild filly from being miserable trapped in a fenced area.



Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*





This has been a "The WDC Angel Army Review *Angelic*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
64
64
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Hello there Anna Marie Carlson

I am reviewing your item as a judge at
 
SURVEY
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR)
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
#1207944 by Writing.Com Support

Thank you for entering the WDC Official Contest. *Bigsmile*




First Thoughts:

Barry Normal was tired of feeling pushed into doing what other people thought of as "normal." He didn't want to work in a normal field of work. He wanted to make a great contribution to society that would help those with handicaps live an easier life and even to improve their condition with his inventive mind.

Further Thoughts:

Barry Normal too great interest in helping a young girl, Lilac Blooming with the aid of his assistant Sarah Wright. He came up with amazing methods to help the girl move her limbs and eventually to take steps. She was diagnosed as quadriplegic, but Barry thought some of her problems could be her emotional state and fear and bitterness.


Observations/Suggestions:

"He wanted to solve problems with issues that would make it easier for {c}blue} [handicapped/crippled]
people to live with." The preposition "with" is not the best way to end the sentence. Changing the arrangement of the words in a sentence can help avoid that trap.

"It was his hope that he could bring hope and inspiration to this young girl, primarily." Repeating "hope" in same sentence and... there are also several spots where the word "hope" is overused, it was/is Barry's/Sarah's hope.

Adverbs are overused. They tend to drag down the pace of the story and give it an inactive voice. An sometimes adds extra words to make an inactive voice sound active.


Suggestion:
Write a tighter story and chop down on words that don't really add to the story, they just sound important when written into the story. When there's a word count limitation, one need not write to the last word allowed to tell a great story in fewer words.

Further Observations:


"This went on until her birthday, January 11, 1863."

*Down*

"Rubbing her legs with lotion after a massage, and using a hairdryer to warm them up, The first hair dryer was invented by French stylist Alexandre Godefroy in 1888. That does not mesh with the date you used as the time period. It's always a good to to check out dates on historical facts before plugging them into a story. *Wink*

Parting Thoughts:

Barry was a likeable character with true ambition in his life to make life easier for a handicapped person. That's very admirable!

Conclusion:

Interesting take on the quotation. It's a great story in the rough. It needs a bit of editing as suggested above, but it is a lovely story about wonderful people doing their best to help others.


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*





This has been a "The WDC Angel Army Review *Angelic*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
65
65
Review of My Reality  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


Hello there J.R. PETE

I am reviewing your item as a judge at
 
SURVEY
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR)
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
#1207944 by Writing.Com Support

Thank you for entering the WDC Official Contest. *Bigsmile*




Initial Thoughts:

I noticed this genre included biographical, and thus seeing the comparison of the life of Vincent Van Gogh, I was curious to find the similarities presenting itself in this story. Good way to hook the reader.

Further Thoughts:

The narrator goes through childhood issues and being labelled intellectually challenged, thus keeping him in the slower learning class. It seems in fact the boy was much more intelligent than previously noted. He proved it through his college days and his love for writing.

Later on, he became a teacher and had his first nervous breakdown and had to step down from his job. He was diagnosed with depression and anxiety but none of the medications worked for very long.

Thereafter, jobs he was very good at all ended in the same way, a nervous breakdown. He sought professional help whereby testing found he had the rare Schizotypal Personality Disorder. He was told by more than one doctor he should not work and collect Disability, since this disorder was a permanent problem that could jump up at any time.

Parting Thoughts:


This was a very brave story of a writer who suffered this disorder yet kept is writing dreams flourishing. The similarity between him and Vincent Van Gogh? It was believed that Van Gogh had the same disorder, Schizotypal Personality Disorder, although the famous artist was not diagnosed as such in those days. He was an artist, writing is art as well. Indeed the similarities cross-over.

Conclusion:

Well done! *Vine2*

Thanks for sharing your story. You are stronger and braver than you know.



Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*





This has been a "The WDC Angel Army Review *Angelic*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
66
66
Review of Normality  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)


Hello there Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

I am reviewing your item as a judge at
 
SURVEY
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR)
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
#1207944 by Writing.Com Support

Thank you for entering the WDC Official Contest. *Bigsmile*




Initial Thoughts:

The brief description, "Even Death won't let me die" piqued my curiosity. If you can trick death into staying alive--well that's something. However, if death is what is really needed, then it's a curse.

Further Thoughts:


This story unfolds so the reader glimpse into the mind of a man diagnosed as a psych one time a schizo, another time deaf and dumb. Of course these diagnoses came over his lifetimes. The "golden boy" (narrator) describes living six lives and having had his full or being the comeback kid who was never taken by Death when life collecting time brought him to the edge of death only to be back again.

Characters:

Narrator- (The person Death refused many times over to allow to suffer another life of hardships.)

Pete- The narrator's Guide Kitty. She's been with Pete through all his lives. Pete was once human, but seems to like being a cat and guide. She intended to outlive her "master."

Death- kept insisting that it still wasn't time for the narrator to be released from endless lives of misery and boredom.

Parting Thoughts:

This was a very bittersweet read like the taste of his favorite chocolate. It has the feeling of never-ending imprisonment with noway out if Death wouldn't cooperate.

Conclusion:

Quite an ambitious use of the quotation prompt. It was interesting and frightening at the same time.

Well done! *Tea*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*





This has been a "The WDC Angel Army Review *Angelic*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
67
67
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)


Hello there PureSciFi

I am reviewing your item as a judge at
 
SURVEY
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR)
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
#1207944 by Writing.Com Support

Thank you for entering the WDC Official Contest. *Bigsmile*



First Impressions:

This is a space horror story about a battle for control by one group of aliens over another.

Further Thoughts:

The characters consisted of Frankims, DeathBringers. Collenna, Hancron were battling control of the mind. Collenna wanted information on who was aiding Hancron. Hancron refused to divulge the identity. Of course the reasoning was that the DeathBringer would kill Hancron and also the ones helping the Frankims to identify them.

DeathBringers could step into the identity of the race they were trying to destroy. At least I believe I got this straight.

Observations/Suggestions:

"I just don’t [know] what it is yet.

I had a difficult time following along because the horror scenes seemed to run into each other.

What was the grey liquid? Was it some form of a mind controlling drug or was it actually the vehicle that allowed the DeathBringer to get into the prisoner's mind or body for better control? Something that should be made clear.


Parting Thoughts:


Indeed there was horror as the reader becomes aware by the grey liquid entering the one being interviewee's body and resulting in horrendous screaming. That means pain.

Conclusion:


There's something very unique about this story that needs it to be fleshed out more so the reader can easily follow without wondering if she interpreted what was going one correctly.


*Planet* Space horror, indeed an interesting use of the quotation.

Thanks again for entering the Quotation Inspiration contest in November!


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*





This has been a "The WDC Angel Army Review *Angelic*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
68
68
Review of Green Dragon  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Hello there Amethyst Angel (House Mormont)

I am reviewing your item as a judge at
 
SURVEY
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR)
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
#1207944 by Writing.Com Support

Thank you for entering the WDC Official Contest in November. *Bigsmile*




First Thoughts:

Life in a Florida retirement village proves to be too boring for a retired Chicago police officer. You take the reader along Liz's journey from boring to walking the line of danger. *Scared*

Further Thoughts:

Liz is a likeable character but just didn't fit into life at The Villages. She didn't want to join in all the retirees' games. *Ha* But it seemed that she wouldn't even attempt to see if what was offered there would become a hobby. She's put in her time. I wanted her to have fun! *Laugh* Not to mention, Joey seems to have an interest in dating her. She seemed to like him very much. But, that's not how it goes ...



Observations & Suggestions:


"My lungs can't take that cold anymore. Yet she passed the physical exam to become a CIA operative?

I believe this story could have been tightened up quite a bit. There was too much up front information about her life in The Florida retirement village than the meat of the story -- her loved profession. Perhaps her story could have begun as a retired Chicago police officer who got terribly bored living the community retirement life in Florida without going into detail.

In fact, she didn't need to move to a retirement village in Florida to become bored. It could have been hanging out with other retired first responders getting tired of going to movies, restaurants and Bingo. *Thought* Also, she'd never have to mention the weakness of her lungs, something that would red flag her application to the CIA.

Parting Thoughts:

This was quite an ambitious take on the quotation. I liked Liz's spunk and ability to handle herself in her new job. It is a job that could involve danger. I would like to have visited through Liz's job, some of the distant places she traveled to. Descriptions of scenery, the people, the food and the dangerous people she meets along the way. That's why I suggested getting out of retirement mode and into her new career at a quicker pace. *Smile*

Conclusion:

Interesting tale. Nice job! *Globe*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*





This has been a "The WDC Angel Army Review *Angelic*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
69
69
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, WakeUpAndLive️~🚬🚭2024
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing this item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest
Thank you for entering our November Quotation Prompt contest. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

You chose the quotation: “The month of November makes me feel that life is passing more quickly. In an effort to slow it down, I try to fill the hours more meaningfully.”
— Henry Rollins

Indeed, November edges toward the end of the year. With holiday seasons upon us, it does seem that November is meant to pass by quickly to get to the holiday festivities. Thus, life thought in terms of November, has the feeling of passing by quickly.

Your brief description shows you are standing up and taking part of your life back. Becoming the force behind effort to make life more meaningful.

Further Thoughts:


I think your are very brave taking on the initiative to find a companion to enjoy the more intimate part of life.

It's difficult weeding out the bad actors when trying to find a love interest online. Often the scammers use that type of site to go after money or to use someone for some type of money laundering scheme.


Observation:


So, my little quest me find out what kind of woman I am turned into a great adventure. So, my little quest in finding out what kind of woman I am ...

Parting Thoughts:

Persistence was your friend. You actually found a lovely person to share some part of your life. *Smile*


Conclusion:


Nicely done. *CheckP*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
70
70
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Dave
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest
Thank you for entering our November Quotation Prompt! *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:


Prompt chosen: “Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.”
— Henry Van Dyke

I love that you chose one of the quotes not often used. Giving thanks and Thanksgiving is indeed what November represents to us in the US.

Further Thoughts:

Your poem was spot on with the quote's true meaning. It's about the love of family, sharing, food, hugs and memories built to last a lifetime.

I could picture in my mind and almost smell the scent of roasted turkey and Grammy's dressing as it sits majestically on a large platter at the table surrounded by sides, rolls and smiling faces.

Parting Thoughts:

Nicely done poem with a right amount of rhyme so as to keep a melodious flow without any forced reaching into the sing-song type of rhyme. The return/repeat line as the first line of each cinquaine made the main ingredient of the poem stand out ... being thankful.

Conclusion:

Nicely done and unique choice of quotations offered. *Cornucopia*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*








*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
71
71
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, AmyJo- only 2 steps behind -
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest
Thank You for entering our Quotation Prompt contest in November. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

I see you chose the quote "Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses."
__ Alphonse Karr

Your poem reflects that quotation. *Thumbsup*

Further Thoughts:

I love how you use that quote to show the rose with all its beauty is surrounded by thorns. One part is so sweet, so gentle and is a constant trinket of love in a relationship. Thorns represent the hardships that appear on the road of life. I believe it's how a person characterizes it that makes the rose that much more beautiful thing. If one can get past the difficult pain of the thorns, the prize of the rose is that much more cherished.

Thus, these lines paint the picture handily: "To be given hope, or just a jab,
It is the individual who shall determine."

Parting Thoughts:

I enjoyed the philosophical thought that went into the lines of the poem.

Nice job! *Rose*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
72
72
Review of I am Thankful  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch




Hello there Simply Me
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest
Thank you for entering our November Quotation Prompt contest. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

You've chosen this quotation to use: “This is the month of nuts and nutty thoughts — that November whose name sounds so bleak and cheerless — perhaps its harvest of thought is worth more than all the other crops of the year.”
— Henry David Thoreau

It is an interesting choice. I was anxious to read your poem's version of its interpretation. *PaintO*

Further Thoughts:

Indeed, November can be a somewhat bleak month to many, yet a very creative month for the muse. This is especially true since it's NaNo month, and writers are fueling their muse ferociously! *Ha*

Parting Thoughts:


I like how you wove these lines and the November prompt around life, activity and comradery. (more commonly spelled camaraderie) It is the essence of this wonderful site.

Loved this part, "Where half-baked words
are overly spiced,
reviewed
chopped up, or sliced
then dished up
and served


Cleverly used recipe for the boosting of a muse. *DragonflyV*

Conclusion:

Nice job!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*










*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
73
73
Review of Rescue  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Amethyst Angel (House Mormont)
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest
Thank you for entering the November Quotation Prompt contest! *Bigsmile*

First Impressions:

I was intrigued with the title, "Rescue," and your brief description shows the time-line is in the Victorian Era.

Further Thoughts:


The backdrop is Norway during the month of November. Amelia misses her mother and father during this time of deep solitude where her muse has escaped her and she lost her interest in writing.

You chose the quote: “It is also November. The noons are more laconic and the sunsets sterner and Gibraltar lights make the village foreign. November always seems to me the Norway of the year.” by, Emily Dickinson.

It's a wonderful choice to go along with your poem about a Victorian woman who has shut herself off from the bleak weather of a November day in Norway.

Observation:

"Seeing the [a] boy lying on the icy sidewalk, she rushed to help."

"A boy" would better fit with this line since he is not identified as being known to her. Being a stranger when spotted it should be "a boy."

Parting Thoughts:

Loved this: "My heart spills over with observations of local beauty. See the wavering patterns of lace which the bare maple tree casts upon the moonlit snow?" Beautiful described scene which a reader could picture.

Conclusion:


Good job with the prompt! *TeaO*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*








*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
74
74
Review of November...  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, WriterRick
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I'm also reviewing this item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest
Thank you for entering our November Prompt contest. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

Your opening paragraph is very captivating. You pull your reader in with your well-chosen descriptive words. Good job, there!

Further Thoughts:

You painted a picture of Amelia and the solitariness of November by the shore. I can see how the vivid palette of colors would awaken her muse. Even if only in her mind's eye, for that is where the muse spins sights and sounds and thoughts into literature.


Observation:


"They, too, felt the allure of November through her words, experiencing the laconic noons, the sterner sunsets, and the foreignness of the village."


Helpful hint, I think ... Perhaps place a period after "her words" and cutting out the repetitiveness of repeating very similar words from the quote. You have established a close relationship in your story to that particular quote. The quote needs only to inspire you. It doesn't have to be repeated again since it was handily established. You've already captured the reader's heart with your own descriptive passages that make the reader very keen of the relationship to the poem.

Otherwise, The story is solid. *Smile*

Parting Thoughts:

You cleverly use picturesque words that have a very lyrical quality to them. It brings beauty to the story that a reader wants to read out loud just to feel the quality of words on the lips as they are being read. *PaintBrush*

Conclusion:

Excellent use of the quotation prompt chosen. *TeaO*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
75
75
Review of Bus Stop  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Zehzeh
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest
Thank you for entering our November Quotation contest. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

Interesting Title and brief description. "Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses."
__ Alphonse Karr

I was anxious to see the connection to the quote you chose! *Cool*

Further Thoughts:

Well-constructed word use.

*AsteriskP* Moisture makes diamonds
*AsteriskB* Fingers of frosty wetness
*AsteriskV* Grumbling warnings, unseen.

And my favorite word for the day ... "Beside a cold, mizzled* road" *Ha*

Parting Thoughts:

I loved the whole bus use! Who'd have thought? It was a unique interpretation of the quote chosen.

Conclusion:

The poem flowed smoothly and kept the reader intrigued.

Great ending! *TorchL*

Conclusion:

Good job! *Web1**Web2*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*








*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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