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101
101
Review of May Flowers  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Sum1
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*
I am also reviewing this item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our May Original Photo and Haiku contest. *Bigsmile*

The Photo:

This image evokes such feelings of honor, sacrifice, bravery and sadness. Seeing such beautiful flowers from those who care, love, remember adds to the serene beauty of the captured photo.

The Haiku:

Traditional 3 line, 5-7-5 Haiku form.

Love that it meshes well with the photo. And, since Memorial Day is more than just a weekend for grilling, it reminds us to remember those who sacrificed their lives through their honorable service. *Salute*


Very touching! *FlowerR*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
102
102
Review of Haiku [180.49]  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Kåre Enga in Udon Thani
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our May Original Photo and Haiku contest! *Bigsmile*


The Photo:

Those are gorgeous blooms!Love how the camera captured their petals in such detail. It looks like they are pointing to the beauty and brightness of the blue sky above and watching the clouds in contemplation of some thirst quenching rain.

The Haiku:

Perfect click in the reader's mind between image and poem. The Haiku makes the reader want to visit with the lovely blossoms and linger a bit longer as well. I like the way the second line is formatted with the em dash used for a pause before the word "dinner." Dinner in fact is being paused. *ThumbsUpGreen*

Some moments in life are worth the extra time invested.

Good job!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
103
103
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, The Puppet Master
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our April, Children's flash fiction contest. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

A cute little story about an Easter Bunny worried about the children not being able to have their annual Easter Egg hunt due to rainy weather.

Further Thoughts:

Rules followed? *Writer*

A children's story? *CheckP*
Within 500 word count limit? *CheckGr*
Prompt Words highlighted? *CheckY*

Parting Thoughts:

You spun a magical ending where the piglet and bunny work together and have a solution to children being able to have Easter Egg hunts no matter how bad the weather may be on Easter.

Conclusion:

Fun read!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*








*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
104
104
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there Graywriter
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our April Children's flash fiction contest. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

The title describes what the reader will expect of the character Sammy. He is an attention wanting piglet who mopes around when things don't seem to be going his way. *Pig*

Further Thoughts:

Rules followed?

Children's story. *CheckV*
Prompt words were highlighted. *CheckO*
Word count given? *Think* I know it's got to be around here somewhere ... *Rabbit2*


Observation:

"Look, Mama! There are enough for you andall us piglets!"

Parting Thoughts:

It's an engaging children's story that kids could actually visualize as they read it or have it read to them. It has a moral to the story, stop the moping and do something to change things in a positive way.

Conclusion:

So happy Sammy got his Easter goodies and he shared them with the family! Something to keep him content for a little while at least! *Laugh*

Good job! *PaintBrush*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
105
105
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Dave Ryan
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering April's Children's Flash Fiction contest. *Bigsmile*

First Impressions:

Within the first few lines, I was hooked. I knew it would be humorous
.I wasn't disappointed. *Laugh*

Further Thoughts:

Rules were followed
Clever use of the prompt
Delightful interaction by the children
All prompt words highlighted with ease and meshed perfectly within the story


Parting Thoughts:

Absolutely creative children's story from the point of view of a teacher during story hour trying to keep the classes attention. *Hand1*

Conclusion:

Humorous and portrays a true Children's story that delights both the adult reading it who could identify with kids' curiosity, and the kids who read or listen to this story will also enjoy the interaction among the children during the story telling.

Good job!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
106
106
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, THANKful Sonali LOVES DAD
This is a "The WDC Angel Army"  Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our April Children's Flash Fiction contest. *Bigsmile*

Initial Impressions:

Great title and brief description. A beautiful description of good times for children and loving mothers who help make those times special for the kids. *Smile*



RULES Followed:

Children's Flash Fiction *BoxCheckB*

Prompt Words Included and highlighted. *BoxCheckR*

Bunny *CheckO*
Chocolate/s *CheckP*
Basket *CheckY*
Tulips *CheckR*
Picket fence *CheckGr*
Piglet *CheckG*
Rain *CheckB*

Word Count given and within 500 word limit. *CheckP*

Further Thoughts:

I enjoyed the piglet character. He is one children could identify with. He hates going out in the rain, yet wants to play outside. His mother tells him to be creative, but he can't open and close an umbrella.


What I loved!

I loved that Pandurang the piglet used his mommy's shopping basket to place over his head to keep himself dry. Very creative! Great visual imagery there. I could picture the pig with the basket over his head and the opening handles used to see out of while he walked out into the rain. *Laugh*

Parting Thoughts:

His bunny friend's mom was very kind to the little piglet, and made him feel smart and special over his rain head gear for two It was done in such a way as to prevent the bunny friend from commenting on the strange head gear and hurting the piggy's feelings.

Yes, good moms, good kids, good friendship and a good story for children that will be enjoyed beyond the pages of a WDC audience. Library hour, perhaps? *Bigsmile*

Conclusion:

A fine story that should be read to children. Very expressive and picturesque.

Good job! *Pig* *Rabbit3*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
107
107
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there AmyJo- only 2 steps behind -
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our April Children's Flash Fiction contest! *Bigsmile*

First Impressions:

Charlie the Bunny is going on an adventure and he's taking us along with him. The reader is naturally curious about his impending adventure. *Ha*

Further Impressions:

Young children are on an Easter Egg hunt and filling their baskets. Luckily, the basket already contained a chocolate rabbit in cellophane. I say luckily since they would probably need extra energy searching for the colorful, hidden eggs. *Laugh*

RULES:

Children's Flash Fiction *BoxCheckB*

Prompt Words Included and highlighted? *CheckP*

Bunny *CheckO*
Chocolate/s *CheckP*
Basket *CheckY*
Tulips *CheckR*
Picket fence *CheckGr*
Piglet *CheckG*
Rain *CheckB*

Word Given and Count within 500. *CheckO*

Observations:

It is a Children's story. I would have liked to see a bit more interaction with the characters so a child could picture the bunny, see the piglet and bunny acting silly. A little action to attract the kids' attention if the story were read by them or to them. *Wink*


Parting Thoughts:

You followed all the rules. You made the bunny a visible character that the reader could picture. Those poor tulips! *TulipR* But hey, a bunny needs its salad.

Conclusion:

Good job weaving the prompt words into the story.


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
108
108
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Espero
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our Ides of Marsh contest in March. *Bigsmile*

Initial Impressions:

Johnny should have taken a guide! *Laugh*

Further Impressions:

I liked the weaving of terror, supernatural happenings, witchiness, swampiness and sheer mind-boggling fearsome imagery! *Shock2*

*BareTree3* You did a fine job taking your reader on a ride through the Bayou that is frighteneing.

*Vine2* You wove the imagery nicely into your story.

*Infinity* The Rougarou with the blazing red eyes added to the tale as a folklore Bayou creature.

Parting Thoughts:

The witch/ High Priestess, who turns into whatever pleases her fancy, scared Johnny deeply, but she only needed a promise from him and then would set him free to go back home once his injuries healed enough to do so.

Conclusion:

Snakes, alligators and Rougaru -- OH MY! *Scared*

Making a pact with a demon is never a wise decision. *Devil*

Good job! *Writer*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
109
109
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Jimbo
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our annual Cupic Slam poetry contest in February.

Initial Thoughts:

I enjoyed your Iambic pentameter ... mostly-ish, almost as much as I enjoy one without the "ish" part. *Laugh*

Further THouights:

This was bad, I mean really bad!

What I loved:

I loved these lines, but certainly not limited to them. *Ha*

"Cupid really screwed it all up,
Hitting me at Clem's BBQ.
Knocking me into that waitress,
Spilling baked beans all down her dress.
I think he meant to hit Cody Knox"

You show your ire for the putting Cupid on fire for his messing up your big plans with the waitress. I liked that! *Smirk2*

Parting Thoughts:

Loved the little inserts showing inner thoughts describing the character of the lady pursued. *Laugh*

Conclusion:

Bad, bad poetry ...good, good Slam to Cupid!

You deserve the rating you are getting ...

Until next time--Slam on! *Ha*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
110
110
Review of Anticlimax  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello Words Whirling 'Round
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our Annual February Cupid Slam contest! *Bigsmile*

First, Further & Final Impressions:

OMG, this was just awful, but it was so good! *Angelic*

You did a fabulous job with the terrible poetry slamming Cupid hard. We like to see that kind of hate toward that sickly sweet lousy arrow flinger causing distress for those seeking love as Valentine's Day approaches.

These lines say it all!

Endless, feudal urge to merge,
lust sans culmination.
Cupid's just a cruel joke,
mocking my frustration.

With Cupid's lousy record on the job, this just goes to show ... You can't always get what you want.

Based on the bad poetry ... yeah, it had rhyme, but ...

1 *Star* is all it's worth! *Gavel*

Until next time--Slam on! *Smirk*


Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
111
111
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there, Sumojo
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering the Cupid Slam, bad-poetry contest in February. *Bigsmile*

First Impressions:

The title leads the reader into a web of vexation from the February cupid of exasperation. *Ha*

The Annual Cupid Slam Poetry Contest's objective is to write the worst 1-star rated poem slamming Cupid.

Observations:

I think you went a little too easy on that diapered pest lurking in the month of February with arrows in his quiver and a bow at the ready to bring together couples to fall in love.

Your poem describes the flaws of Valentine's Day and the expectations, costs and disappointments rather than putting it all on Cupid.

"Cupid, the god of love and pleasure,
Is nothing but a love-sick treasure."

We are told about Cupid being the god of love and pleasure but not watching the arrows pointed at the creature who is behind all the love-sickness. He's the one who needed to be exposed with all the harshness you could dream up woven into the lines.

Pating Thoughts:

I actually thought your poem had great meaning about not falling for one day to need to fall in love or impress another. Love should come naturally. No huge expectations for one day of the year.

Conclusion:

Your poem is way too good to be marked with low star-rating. I liked it for what it stated. So, I'm giving you what your poem deserves rather than a contest driven 1-star rating.

See you nest year— Same time, Same Cupid Slam! *DartR*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
112
112
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (1.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Weirdone-Back in the games
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thanks for entering our Cupid Slam contest in February.

First Impressions:

"Awdl Gywydd" Interesting. Never heard of it. This got my curiosity going forward as I read your terrible poem. *Laugh* I'm going to take a wild guess, 8 lines! *Ha*

Further Impressions:

Rules followed?

Write bad poetry and slam Cupid.*Check*

Word Count? Didn't see it, but Cupid may have taken it by force of arrow? *Laugh*

So happy to see nothing saying "stupid Cupid. That suggestion was taken. *Bigsmile*

Cupid is given some poetic lines about his terrible aim.

"The shaft digs into my brain
I scream with great pain and blurt
Out a poem from my butt "

Memorable lines that will haunt me forever! *Scared*

Parting Thoughts:

Terribly penned poetry in honor or horror of beastly Cupid. Close to hitting the mark -- but was it bad enough? *Smirk*


Thanks again for entering, and good luck. *GoLucky*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
113
113
for entry "Cupid Did Not Miss " 
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (1.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, JCosmos
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our February Cupid Slam Poetry contest. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

You didn't start with Roses are Red, Violets are blue! *Rolling* Absolutely gives the reader the rest of the story -- this poem is going to be just awful. And, that's the point of Cupid Slam. Need to strive for that 1-star rating!


Prompt Rules/Suggestions ...

Rules followed?

Slam that Cupid in bad poetry *CheckP*

Line Count? I don't know. It wasn't put inside the item, so I guess Cupid ran off with it. *Laugh*

Suggestion taken?

"Cupid Is stupid" Now this makes me cringe. *Mindblown*
Perhaps you should have taken the hint not to rhyme stupid with Cupid. It has been way overused in the previous years. *Sob*

Parting Thoughts:

You did a fine job at writing bad poetry. You blame a whole lot on Cupid for his bad aim. However you are grateful because even though he missed hitting you and the woman you love, the couple fell in love anyway without Cupid's help.

Conclusion:

Bad poetry. Tough competition this annual contest is. Close, but is it good at being bad enough?

Good points of slam, but letting Cupid off too easy. *Whistle*

However, the sappiness alone makes me feel *Sick* So, good job, there! *Laugh*


Until next time--slam on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
114
114
Review of Why me, Cupid?  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, AmyJo- only 2 steps behind -
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering the Cupid Slam, bad poetry contest in February.

Initial Thoughts:

Cupid is described by the narrator as a sort of irritation that needs to be told to go away.

Further Thoughts:

The rhythm and rhyme work well in the couplets. The reader could feel the deep dislike toward Cupid.

Observations:

Rules followed, it's poetry, line count included. However, was Cupid truly slammed big time? I'd say not really enough. This despicable creature deserves more slamming to put him in his place. *Smirk*

Parting Thoughts:

Good poetry, not bad enough that it makes us cringe. More of suggestions to Cupid and a wish for his disappearance from this world.

Conclusion:

Since this a bit mild on the slam side, and the poem was well-crafted and quite melodious being matched to the tune "Please, Mr. Custer by Ray Stevens," I'm not going to plague it with a 1-star rating. It takes a long time to bring a better poem out of the hole when 2 few 1-stars have been given out.

It's too good to be "too bad." *Ha*

Thanks again for entering the contest.

Write on! *Quill*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
115
115
Review of Please, Mr. Cupid  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (1.5)
Hello there, Prosperous Snow celebrating
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I'm also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering February's Cupid Slam Poetry contest. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

This poem definitely whams Cupid where the sun doesn't shine. *Laugh*

Further Thoughts:

All Rules and Suggestions, followed.
Line count included. *Check*
Cupid was slammed. *Checkp*
No mention of those overused words, "stupid Cupid." *Ha*

Parting Thoughts:

Well-rhymed poem, good rhythm and filled with detest for that Cupid pest!

Did it hit the *Target* for the worse of the worse slam?

It was close -- very close! *Cool*

Conclusion:

Well done! *Thumbsup*

Until next time--slam on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
116
116
Review of Cupid Outbid  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (1.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there THANKful Sonali LOVES DAD

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I'm also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  February Cupid Slam contest. *Bigsmile*

First Impressions:

Acrostic poetry slamming Cupid. I found that an interesting poetry form for this prompt.

Further Thoughts:

You followed the rules and prompt handily.
Line count included.
Give Cupid a slam -- he certainly got a slamming here. *Ha*
But was it baaaaad enough? *Thought2*


Favorite "bad" lines:

"Damn - what I don't give, darling" *Shock2*

"U don't mean a thing to I" *RollEyes*

Those lines gave me a chuckle. *Laugh*

Parting Thoughts:

Unique poem and presentation for a slam
Thank you for entering the contest. *Writer*

Until next time--slam on! *Smirk*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
117
117
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (1.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Espero
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering February's Cupid Slam Poetry. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

Clever use of the prompt adding a bit of "terror." I love a Cupid horror story poem. *Devilish*

Further Thoughts:

Rules and prompt were followed. *CheckP*

You showed a despicable character to slam in the Vesper character toward Cupid.

Is it bad? Yup, this is wrought with rot against Cupid being a sappy arrow slinger. It's filled with love gone awry thus sadness, bitterness and anger are woven within the poem since Cupid stole his lover away. Vesper is the anti-love non-Cupid out for revenge.


Parting Thoughts:

I found it amusing that Cupid has Vesper craving his blood as revenge for being the annoying February love and life and relationship messer-upper!

Conclusion:

Fun read! *Ha*

Thanks again for entering the contest. *Bigsmile*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
118
118
Review of Slamming Cupid  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Hello there, Dan I Am

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our Cupid Slam contest in February. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

Good rhythm woven through the lines with humor and a bit of rhyme.

Further Thoughts:

Followed all Rules, slam Cupid, line count given.
Is this the kind of "bad" that really slams Cupid?
I'd say it's pretty bad. Will bad be good enough? The best of the worse is what we search for. Believe me, it's difficult judging Cupid Slam because there are so many poems to pore through to find just the perfect amount of bad! *Ha*

Parting Thoughts:

You did make Cupid look pretty bad. Alien, pervert, not Santa of course. *Smirk*

Bonus Fact:

You didn't use the overused words common in previous years' Slam ... "Stupid Cupid" I like that. *Angelic*

*StarR* Content Rating:

I needed to change your rating because some of the words chosen imply a violent act by that bothersome creature. No violence allowed in any E content or very mild in ASR.

"just go the hell away." (Not E-rated and also Removes this from ASR)

No cursing of any kind in either. "Heck" would have worked in ASR but the violent content with the gun use to "pop" him would not be fit for either E or ASR.

*Down*

"grab a gun and pop him." (Brings this up to 13+)

Otherwise, this was so bad, it was good! And let's face it, that's the point of slamming Cupid! *Bigsmile*

Until next time--Slam on! *Shock2*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
119
119
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there JCosmos
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our January Prompt, "Plot it Yourself!" *Bigsmile*

Initial Impressions:

This is what the reader trips over at the start of the story:

" their car is stuck in the snow and it is freezing outside. They are just outside the town of Eagle Creek where they were going to visit Jason’s uncle who lived there just outside of Medford along a country road." Repeated use of the word "outside" within the several sentences."

I address the wordiness of this under Observations. You really want to hook your reader right from the opening paragraph to make them look forward to what happens next.

Further Impressions:

Interesting Sci-Fi story with aliens invading. The Washington state backdrop makes it even more vivid as a the plot works around invasions and heavy snow making traveling next to impossible.

The family did hook up with five others who know of the aliens and suggest they would do well to stick together and fight the good fight.

Observations:

They took what they could and found Hunter’s(hunters' it's plural)Trucks and they took off.


This opening is a bit wordy, and doesn't show the reader the peril they are in. It's told to us, but there's no urgency, no hook in the beginning to pull us into the plot.

*Down*

"Jason Lee, his wife, Maria Kim, and their two children ages 8 and 10 are driving late on a winter’s day when they encounter a huge snowstorm their car is stuck in the snow and it is freezing outside."


Example:

Darkness fell as Jason and his wife and two young children were making the trip to visit his uncle. Suddenly, a blizzard hit disabling their car from further travel. There was no road visible, only huge snowdrifts encompassing the vehicle at a rapid rate.

The family walked the short distance to a cabin they just passed and sought shelter. (Just an example of bringing the action on and not wasting words about names of and ages of children who never interact in the story.)

Parting Thoughts:

This is quite the interesting plot with lots of potential. It is unique and can be expanded on, as well as reducing some repetitive words and fillers, as well as leaving out descriptions of characters who never get involved in the story line after the introduction. If the children were more active in the story, then descriptions of them would be necessary. Also, we're left wondering about the current situation of the uncle. *Sob*


Conclusion:

You followed the rules as per the Bard's Hall guidelines. You took the leap and created an interesting story which begs to be developed more.Just think of the possibilities once they reach their destination! *Bigsmile*

Thanks again for entering the contest. *Bigsmile*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
120
120
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, AmyJo- only 2 steps behind -
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our January prompt, "Plot it Yourself!"

Initial Thoughts:

The car is stuck, the phone dies in mid conversation, there's no battery charger. I would have liked a bit more snow drama leading up to the scene of the stuck vehicle so the reader knows right off the bat that it's snowing and it may have been the cause of the car being stuck? Of course that image becomes clearer as the character approaches the cabin.


Further Thoughts:

I liked that you selected an animal to be stuck in the cabin with after the car got stuck in the snow. That was a unique use of the prompt it yourself. There was dialogue, yes, dialogue with the dog. *Bigsmile*

Parting Thoughts/Suggestions:

This story had a workable plot. It weaves in the fantasy element of a talking dog. I liked how the dog barking on the road brought the attention of a wrecker to help the stranded woman.

My suggestion is that you had much more word count left to develop the story a little more. It seemed to be all wrapped up a little too neatly at the end.

*QuestionGr* What further dialogue could have helped the reader know the breed of the dog for instance?
*QuestionY* Why was the dog there alone? Does it belong to the person who owns the cabin?

Questions such as these need answering to really flesh out the plot.

Conclusion:

You followed the rules within word count, and Plotted it yourself! *Bigsmile* You took a unique character to be stranded for the night during the storm. *ThumbsUpR*

I saw no errors in grammar and spelling. The suggestion above would have added so much more to the story.

Thanks again for entering the contest! *Bigsmile*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
121
121
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello there Graywriter
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our January Contest, "Plot it Yourself!"

First Impressions:

I loved the strong beginning. A hard landing causing the neck to thrust forward, the inability to move the vehicle and unable to find a phone to seek help.

Further Impressions:

You add a bit of creepiness and mystery as you described the cabin's occupant. I was thinking if a professor who had retired was rumored to be dead, perhaps he was? Perhaps they both were! *Shock2*


Observations & Suggestions:

Not too likely on this country lane;

I stumbled up the front steps onto the veranda of thea [the] rustic cottage and banged breathlessly on the door.

*pointr*This story just begs for more fleshing out, so to speak. I imagined so many scenarios. It seemed as if it ended abruptly.


There was plenty more word count usage available, as well. More development of the story, adding some more horror, humor, something that takes the reader on the ride and wondering at how it will all end.

The set up leaves a reader to believe (at least this one) that the professor might be a ghost and the driver dies in the accident ans is one as well. That would have brought the thrills and chills to the story.

Parting Thoughts:

If I remember Spam well, it doesn't take a a "wicked" looking knife to cut through it. *Laugh*

Conclusion:

You did follow the prompt and the rules. You plotted it yourself! *Bigsmile*

Thanks again for entering!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
122
122
Review of Mort  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello Sumojo I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering December's What A Character Contest! *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

This character is quite the hero! I like how Mort keeps on working through the drought and missing his wife and spending time helping his neighbor.

Further Thoughts:

Mort has a big and charitable heart but has forgotten to hold close those he loves most. He seems to have wrapped himself in sadness over the farm his father had run before his death. Mort didn't want to let his dad's land to be lost. Unfortunately, his wife could not bear living with Mort and his pity and left to stay with her daughter in the city.

Observations:

They would they would have to wait before it would be safe to open the door. repeated "they would." Also see the suggestion below for the line following this one. Formatting could use a little more spacing. Here's one example, but there are a few that need that extra "enter" click.

"They would have to wait before it would be safe to open the door.(click a couple times on the enter bar, here.)

"Conditions in the shipping container were almost unbearable."

Parting Thoughts:

This was quite a heart wrenching story of the dreadful drought in Australia and the plight of the farmers there. It also shows the determination and sheer fortitude of Mort and his good deeds trying to help his neighbor's pregnant wife with many of her farm duties while her husband was working away.

Mort also was an experienced volunteer firefighter and knew what needed to be done to save himself and his neighbor along with the dogs in the kennel.


Conclusion:

The ending was action-filled and then the calmness after the fires and his wife returning home because Mort realized the importance of family and loved ones in his life. Keeping those priorities first and everything else will work itself out with his wife by his side.

Beautiful use of the prompt!

Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Angelic*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
123
123
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Graywriter

I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering December's What A Character Contest! *Bigsmile*


Initial Thoughts:

A responsible twelve year old girl goes on an errand for her mom. Her young brother wanted to tag along.

Further Thoughts:

This was sweet story of a couple precocious kids who knew how to handle themselves at a butcher shop with a nasty, rude customer stepping ahead in line.

Dickie? Well he was quite the character!

What Amused me:

The whole chicken feed talk was hilarious! The young brother, Dickie, certainly knew about farming chickens and told that lady why they aren't just "grass fed." free range. It was quite an education, actually to anyone thinking chickens are completely vegetarian as they run around those ranges. Bugs and other small critters add to their diet. *Ha*


Another Amusing Moment, if only it were true these days!

"... pick up some steaks at the butcher? Dad's bringing some friends over for supper tonight and I phoned the order in. Here's a twenty, that should cover it. Bring back the change."

I need to know where this mom shops for steaks for that low price. *Laugh*


Conclusion:

Well done, fast-paced and infused with a quirkiness and humor that painted images in my mind's eye of the children and the now probably vegetarian rude lady. *Laugh*

That'll teach her to take her proper place in line. I doubt she'll enjoy another bite of chicken again. *Chicken*


Good job!


Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Angelic*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
124
124
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


Hello LightinMind
I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering the December, What A Character contest!


Initial Thoughts:

I knew this would be a fight to the finish. I was ready to watch David beat Goliath in court.

Further Thoughts:

David is a well organized reasonable thinker looking for the truth rather than accepting policy based science that the university pushes. I applaud his character for choosing to publish his book questioning their "science" even though his job at the university was at stake.

Kudos to his lawyer wife for stepping up to help out with the lawsuit against the university.

Observation:

The prosecutor concluded his statement to the jury and sat down. John had expected the case to focus on university policy regarding conclusions, but instead, the prosecution built its case around an ad hominem attack on his personal competence and intellectual honesty.
I believe this would constitute a civil lawsuit not a criminal one, thus, there would be no prosecutor involved but Plaintiff's Lawyer or Defendant's lawyer.



Parting Thoughts:

Good use of the prompt. This was truly a David and Goliath story where the little guy wins over the giant corporation's threats to ruin him while taking away his job. So happy he got to face that "EB" and tell her what she can do with her job. Of course selling a million books did help him leave all that nasty stuff behind!

Conclusion:

Well done! *Scale1*

Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Angelic*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
125
125
Review of David's Obsession  
Review by Sssssh! I'm...
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Damon Nomad

I am reviewing your story as a judge for
SURVEY
What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E)
Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes!
#1679316 by Writing.Com Support
.
Thank you for entering the January What A Character contest! *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

Your title and brief description are fine hooks to pull in the reader.I believe sometimes obsession is a perfect forewarning of things we can't quite put our finger on, yet it nags until we sort it out. So, yeah, I was curious to find out more about David.


Further Thoughts:

I like the character. David is a self-made man. He studied on his own when he couldn't fir college into his life with the great responsibilities he had taking care of his mother and earning a living for her and his own family.

Observation:

"He could not find an error or mistake"
Both words mean the same thing, thus one should be eliminated so as not to be redundant.

Parting Thoughts:

I enjoyed this story. You covered the whole person in this character. He's a man who has integrity and goes above and beyond in his work ethic. He found a huge problem that could contaminate the drinking water system affecting health and lives of those in the community. He fought the issue regardless of the warnings received from his bosses. He's unselfish and proved himself quite savvy when push came to shove.

Good man, great character!You hit this prompt's nail right on the head. *ThumbsUpGreen*

Conclusion:

You did a wonderful job with this character. *BeakerB*


Until next time--write on! And, good luck with the contest! *Bigsmile*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*

This is "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!
*Angelic*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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