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Review Requests: ON
675 Public Reviews Given
681 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to find the WOW-factor in your writing. No in-depth analysis, just my thoughts. #19 PR June 2016. #29 PR July 2016. #10 PR August 2016. Newbies Academy Reviewing Classroom, Winner June 2016. First Place The Newbie Academy Review Contest June 2016. Second Place "The Newbie Academy Review Contest " July and Aug 2016. #9 PR Sept 2016.#20 PR Oct 2016. First place "The Newbie Academy Review Contest" November 2016.#22 PR Nov 2016.#36 PR Feb 2017.#67 PR March 2017.#56 PR July 2017.#41 PR Aug 2017. #77 PR Oct 2017. #53 PR Nov 2017. #53 PR Dec 2017.#96 PR Sept 2018. #38 PR Aug 2020.#26 PR Sept 2020. #56 PR Oct 2020. #80 PR Nov 2020.#76 PR Aug 2021. #47 PR Sept 2021. #69 PR June 2023.#53 PR July 2023. #45 PR Nov 2023.
Favorite Genres
short stories, some poetry
I will not review...
reads > 2000 words
Public Reviews
Previous ... 5 6 7 8 -9- 10 ... Next
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Review of Jeb's Destruction  
Review by
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


WakeUpAndLive

Hi Greg Doodles ,I found your writing ad random. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit. *Delight*

Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.
It would have been the perfect byline indeed. Or a very good title ... Ecclesiastes 7:9. You choose Jeb's destruction, which is okay come to think of it. It covers the subject of the flash fiction story.

You write very well and I liked reading this piece tremendously. You had me chuckle a few times. Great ending!

The only part I did not quite get was the bomb part, that shiny metal thing. I know that you were pressed into using only so much words for the contest, but I would have liked a line or two more on that bomb in the shed.

Too bad about the money...that amount of cash makes you faint when you loose it.

From one newbie to the next, Keep on writing



WakeUpAndLive️~🚬🚭2024
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Review of The Waitress  
Review by
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


WakeUpAndLive

Hi Steve ,I found your writing ad random. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit. *Delight*

Your title is covering its content, but the byline was a little off subject to me. I thought you would put a little reference to yourself, the writer, in the story byline. I thought that was more subject then the waitress schooling to becoming a doctor.

Loved the story because you have a good flow in your writing that is appealing to me. This encounter between writer and waitress is clearly written and has a nice plot and setting. I loved your layout, it helped me reading the dialogue better since you used the blues for the writer and the reds for the waitress.

It was a very good first impression of your writing, I hope to read more. As a fellow newbie I welcome you to WDC.

Keep up the good work, enjoy writing.

WakeUpAndLive️~🚬🚭2024 .
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Review of Distance Lost  
Review by
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)



WakeUpAndLive

Hi Tsierus ,I found your writing ad random. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit. *Delight*


On Title/Subject
Frankly I didn't understand the title well, perhaps you meant Distance Lost as in the distance between the Boogie Man and the boy changing places so there was no distance between the two? The boy and the demon became one? You had no sub line that could help explaining the subject so that was a pity.


General impressions
Wow, what a beautiful intense prose poem this is. I was thrilled reading it.

You beautifully managed to take me on a tour of the world of a child, tucked in bed by his mother, leaving the boy in the dark facing his greatest fear of all. Seeing the Boogie Man, having to listen to his hypnotic words and finally being absorbed by the Boogie Man, exchanging souls.

I liked your twist at the end were you took revenge on the Boogie Man by having his soul for breakfast. At the end the boy overcame his fear and his biggest enemy the fiend. Although at the same time he has become the fiend, the demon.

I loved the way you managed to visualize the dark world when we are between wake and sleep. It worked like the scenes in a play.

Favorite Parts
I particularly like the part where the boy already is feeling/anticipating on something bad that is going to happen. He sees his mother in a different light:

He thinks her teeth,
too sharp,
too sharp in this pale light.

The scenes with the door and the door knob worked also very well for me. It gave me the creeps...!

He is now alone,
in the dark,
eyes open,
then close,
open,
then close like the closet door.
Then open,
and so is that closet door,


What also really worked for me was the pleading of the Boogie Man to the boy to give in, to give up his soul: the fiend says:


"I'm tired of souls,
little souls for breakfast,
fears for lunch,
dreams for dinner."

Final thoughts
All in all a great poem with a dark and ominous atmosphere which I really loved!


Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive

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Review by
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
WakeUpAndLive

Hi Schnujo is Late to Lannister ,I found your writing while browsing your portfolio. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit. *Delight*


On Title/Subject
On the very day the current Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, David Cameron resigns I read your essay on his predecessor Tony Blair. I was a fan of Tony Blair at the time, so naturally I am interested in your piece. Your title covers it completely and draws me in.


General impressions
Wow, what a great piece of writing. Well researched, clearly written and with everything I want to know, need to know and didn't know about Tony Blair. It fully covers it in a appealing straight forward style I like in essays.

The fact that both George W. Bush and Tony Blair were found guilty by the Kuala Lumpur War Crimes Commission was totally new to me, I had never read or heard that before.


Final thoughts
I great essay, a very good read.


Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive Writing.Com Signature Image for Upgraded Registered Authors!

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Review by
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Hi Mickey Wolf ,I found your writing ad random. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit. *Delight*


On Title/Subject
The First Time I saw Gray is a very good title for your essay. It covers your exploration and findings of life's morality system.


General impressions
I loved this piece very much. You are a great writer when it comes to describing your thoughts on Life's practice. It's not black and white as you thought as a youngster but you found out about the grays. Good for you, that will benefit throughout life.

Your piece is clear written, you take me through parts of your life and you are managing to captivate my attention. I really enjoyed your description of your home life and the insight as to where your moral belief system comes from. It gives the story of finding the grays a good base.

It has a good beginning, middle and end and you come up with some examples of both black and white and of your newly discovered grays.

Suggestions
There are three suggestions I want to lay out in front of you: first off all a minor thing: two typos? Back and white belief system is Black and White. Both in the subtitle as in your first sentence.

Second, your piece benefits I think if you leave some blank lines in between the paragraphs. Now it's one big blog, it is easier to read if you space them out.

Thirdly, I noticed I had too little information when you are writing about those girls in school who helped shatter your rosy outlook on life. I am referring to: She was the first to truly point out the fishers in my concepts of right and wrong. and but before she left she made sure to leave weak points in my beliefs I have too little to go on what you mean, so could you elaborate on that a little more so I can understand what those pointers were?


Final thoughts
All in all a great piece. A good read and I am looking forward to reading more. Liked it very much!


Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive

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Review of Fog  
Review by
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Hi Willow Tree ,I found your writing ad random. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit. *Delight*

PTSD is a very serious condition, you writing about it is very courageous and will bring some healing with it, I am positive about that, having had similar experiences in the past. Back then the term PTSD was not recognized. I am glad that it is now.

On Title/Subject
Fog is a good title and does the content credit.


General impressions
It is a short but compact poem, reading it in swift pace makes it worth the effort. It’s clear toned, matter-of-fact like but with great impact underneath the surface. I liked it a lot. It lacks an overkill on emotions which is good to my opinion for this short poem.

It has an ABAB ending well taken care of, therefore it’s an easy read.

I liked best: Nothing there, Nothing here, I'm all alone, Trapped in fear. It sums up what PTSD is all about: Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event. As you well know.

The anxiety part of PTSD you very well analyzed in: There is no forward, Nor any back, No up, nor down, No beaten track. You are sort of stuck in the middle with your fears.

Although the poem doesn’t give a solution, it merely describes, it has a positive thought at the end because you place the fear into reality: This fogs not real, You just can't see, It's deep inside, My memory. By giving PTSD a rightful place, the healing can begin.

Suggestions
One typo? This fogs not real must be This fog’s not real.


Final thoughts
All in all a good little poem. Thanks for sharing.



Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

Wies Blaize.
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Review of One Too Many...  
Review by
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon ,I found your writing on the newsfeed. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit. *Delight*


On Title/Subject
The title covers the poem completely, One too many refers to the 31th child you have under your wings. A school trip to the aquarium sets the context. And then the poem starts.


General impressions
The tone is light and it follows right till the end. You, the teacher is counting but never really worried.

What I find a great accomplishment is that you manage to have an ABAB poem but sometimes an ABAB plus ending, where the words are not a complete rhyme but reading out loud it just fits. I am referring to ‘sharks, dark, play, manta rays’ in the 4th part, and ‘fun, thirty-one’ in the 5th.

The most funny lines to me were: I gather them in one place and now comes all the fun. I count each smiling face... Hmmm. I now have thirty-one. The Hmmm is hilarious. This line is also the heart of the poem, it all boils down to this.

The poem tells a little tale and has a very distinct beginning, middle and end. It is a story in a poem, I like that a lot. It tells the story of the main character, a very honest teacher who proves that you don’t have to smother your kids to be a good teach. I liked it when he questions his own ability: A few seem unfamiliar but then I'm not astute; the most familiar one is the small kid in the suit. You sort of start commenting on your teachers paradigm in the first strophe: I find that the kids all look the same in all the classes. And : I'll just be double careful not to make a slip.


Final thoughts
All in all a great poem! Very humorous, I had to smile a lot. I am guessing you now have an adopted child in your midst. Great ending! The poem deserves to be read again and again. It’s good for kids as well as for adults. Good choice to look into it again after so many years.



Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

Wies Blaize.
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Review of Choices  
Review by
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi dmack ,I found your writing ad random. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit. *Delight*


On Title/Subject
Choices is a good title since the story covers three: driving upon drinking, hit and run and turning himself in to the police. Two bad ones and the final good choice, to answer the subtitles question.


General impressions
I liked this short story a lot. You manage to get a really good mood right at the beginning of the story. I sat at the edge of my seat wanting to know more.

The first paragraph really set the tone from the start, an eerie atmosphere with the flickering light, the empty parking lot, the description of the car. You know for sure something bad has happened or is about to happen.

I liked the description of the hotel room and the description of Albert’s thoughts. They are just enough to give you a feel of the place and the main character, without overdoing it. It’s well balanced.

The plot of the story is well taken care of. The ending follows from the character description of Albert. I wasn’t surprised he turned himself in.


Suggestions
Albert is a good guy, who happens to make a mistake or two. When he stopped his telephone call with the police I had hoped to hear some more detail about why he ran away and stayed anonymous. But Albert went to bed instead… Pity.


Final thoughts
All in all a very nice read, you managed to tell a tale of a situation that’s frequently a reality according to the local news. Some people choose to run after an accident, leaving the victim for dead. Albert did make mistakes, but in the end corrected his mistake and took responsibility. A good choice.




Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

Wies Blaize.
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Review by
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi G. B. Williams ,I found your writing ad random. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit. *Delight*


On Title/Subject
Counting my blessings, Thoughts from today's adventure
is a good title and sums up its content. I had to think twice on the use of the word 'adventure' but after reading several times I got what you meant. The adventure is the acknowledgment of what your family is doing and has done for you. That covers a daily adventure indeed.

General impressions
I liked this thank you-i love you note to your family. They are spending time, effort, action and belief in you as their father and grandfather. The fact that you do remember, appreciate and thank them for all they do makes you a very nice family member and a really kind person.

The summing up in the first part of your essay is somewhat hindering the pace of this piece of writing.

The love, The time, The many breakfasts, The daily check, The frequent little gifts, Attendance, Appreciating, Driving it is a lot of summery without involving yourself in the first person singular.


I like it very much when you say: Most of all, thank you for checking on me at night when I am fast asleep and gently kissing me on my cheek. You make it more personal with that line.

It has a beginning, a middle and an lovely ending with that poem. Give Me My Flowers/Roses While I can Smell Them. Very tender, little poem.


Suggestions
Maybe you could make the first half more personal by not only summarize what they are doing but incorporate that summery into something just a little more personal?


Final thoughts
Sometimes we forget to count our blessings. Many times we take our blessings for granted. Often times, we do not recognize our blessings. In any case, we fail to acknowledge the gift that we have been given. You have proved your own words wrong. You do count your blessings. I hope you will be in the position to enjoy this blessing for years to come.

I find this essay a lovely way of showing how much you all care for eachother. It's subdued in tone but always fresh. A nice read for all of your family, and for WDC aswell. Thank you for sharing.



Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

Wies Blaize.
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Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Winnie Kay ,I found your writing ad random. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit. *Delight*


On Title/Subject
An Editor's Point of View; viewing your manuscript from an editor's perspective, covered your article perfectly. I immediately knew what the subject of your writing was. It was about an author and his or hers editor. As an aspiring writer I found an editorial piece about the relationship author, manuscript, editor mouth watering, since we all have to deal or want to deal with a topic like this. So I read it with great expectations.

General impressions
And the writing didn't disappoint. What a great piece of work. It's perfect! The writing is smooth, informative, never dull and very easy to read, which means it is nowhere too heavy despite tons of good information you put in it. It even had a hint of poetic language sometimes, because you varied with long and short sentences or parts of sentences. When reading out loud it had a certain rhythm.

Furthermore its a personal piece, I liked that you were able to avoid a clinical, matter-of-fact kind of article in which the tone would be flat. But your tone is pleasant and swift. It's a very profound piece but it never sinks into high brow babble.

It seems as if every word, every detail is on place and nothing is left unscrutinized. Good editing is hard work, quote, but good writing is even harder work. You proved it to be a very, very good read.


Suggestions
I thought I found a typo, but because I could not believe you would overlook a detail like that I investigated further and found it never was a typo in the first place. I am referring to : an experience borne from your mind. I thought you meant 'born' but looked it up and found that 'borne' means 'carried or transported by'.

The only suggestion I can think of is that I hope to find and read more articles of your hand. I will look into your portfolio.


Final thoughts
All in all a gerat read, and I enjoyed it tremendously. I learned a lot on the way and not only the word 'borne'. It was a pleasure reviewing this excellent article.


Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

Wies Blaize.
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Review by
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
As I found this randomly and I already am reading your blog I thought to do a review on this true story as well.

I find it a very good read. you have your own style of telling a story which I find appealing, and it fits right into your line of work, being a waiter AND being a veteran.

What a great gift for that mother of four young kids to pay for the next table. It shows there are indeed people who do their random act of kindness which is good to know and nice to the world. In this day and age we need more of those!

Keep up the writing and enjoy!
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Review of The Map  
Review by
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good read! You took me right along on a treasure hunt, expecting to find something, so the box was no surprise, i saw that one coming. But the ending was a very funny twist to the story. It was a mouse!! A good flash fiction entry. Well done.

Enjoy your writing.
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Review of Picnic Memories  
Review by
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Vine1**Flowery**Vine2* Welcome to WDC from me and the "Invalid Item"  *Vine1**Flowery**Vine2*


Thanks for sharing this tale.

General impressions
It is a light hearted read right up till the end, then it got sad.

Suggestions
Beware of flattening the dialogue, maybe you can spice it up a little bit?

Final thoughts
I liked reading it, it was just what you expected for two young people falling in love on one of their first encounters. The story sort of meanders towards the ending, then suddenly has a twist.

Enjoy your writing!
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Review by
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Vine1**Flowery**Vine2* Welcome to WDC from me and the "Invalid Item"  *Vine1**Flowery**Vine2*


General impressions
I like the way you write, it's compact, has a nice pace and is overall a nice read.

Suggestions
What I missed in this piece is a little bit more elaboration on the plea for help from Dr. Plumpocket, the letter in the newspaper. Maybe you could add it so it would help to understand what the prompt to help was all about.

Final thoughts
All in all a good story. No typos or misspellings found.

Enjoy writing!
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Review of Eyes  
Review by
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Vine1**Flowery**Vine2* Welcome to WDC from me and the "Invalid Item"  *Vine1**Flowery**Vine2*


From one newbie to another: I liked your very, very, very short poem because it had the hint of a cadence.

One of the stories involving Sirens is that they competed with The Muses in a contest and lost. The Muses won. I hope you will find your Muse and keep on writing poetry.

Enjoy writing!
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Review by
Rated: E | (4.0)
I had to look up what an anapestic tetrameter was but I found it.

What a great poem: I like the style and indeed the upbeat tempo. Its content is right to the point and very handy for a lot of writers with dark desposition on this website. I hope for them to read it and take it to heart. Good advice!
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Review of Showdown  
Review by
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Vine1**Flowery**Vine2* Welcome to WDC from me and the "Invalid Item"  *Vine1**Flowery**Vine2*


From one newbie to another: I liked your style, read it and was surprised since I am not that familiar with fantasy or occult. But this is a friendly witch and I was intrigued with what she could accomplish, although it didn't work in the first place.

One thing: too bad you keep me in the dark about what really happened in the end with the billionaire.

No typos or misspelling I could find. Keep up the good work.
Enjoy your writing.
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Review of Rudy's Surf Shop  
Review by
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Vine1**Flowery**Vine2* Welcome to WDC from me and the "Invalid Item"  *Vine1**Flowery**Vine2*


From one newbie on this site to another: Well done, nice little tale, read it, liked it. Tells you that found money doesn't stay very long.

The ending is very abrupt, too abrupt? I noticed this because for me it's also difficult to end stories. Sometimes you are just glad you found an ending that is suitable in the first place.

Keep on writing!
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Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
It is a very good read, informative on Navy life. I know nothing of Navy life, have seen JAG and the Hunt For Red October, does that count?

I loved your poem very much, it shows how much people should appreciate veterans. And it gave an insight in the world of submarines. Great that your poem rhymed, but it never was forced upon, it all flows naturally. On a subject like this that is quite an achievement.
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Review by
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
LOL, I always wondered what would happen after receiving an email like that, as I and so many others have in the past. Now I know. Funny story. On greed ofcorse, but nevertheless. But dreaming about this kind of cash...ahhh! Don't we all. There are a lot of Mr. Butulezi's in the world. And a lot of suckers that fall for a scam like this. Nice read. I enjoyed it.
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Review of Unmasked  
Review by
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Beautiful language used and funny! If I were working with drag queens again like i did before, this story would have had an important place hanging over their bar. Sensual and voluptuous in your choosing of words, but very rapid and swift in tone. I liked it!
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Review of PUN-ishment  
Review by
Rated: E | (4.0)
It will be praise I send you. This is my first read of your work, I am going to scroll through the lot, since I find your writing style very appealing. Its active, lighthearted and fun. Good dialogue! So I am interested in other work. You seem like a very experienced writer, so keep up the good work.
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Review of Beautiful Space  
Review by
Rated: E | (3.0)
An exceptionally clear poem, I liked it a lot.
It reminded me a bit of Evening Star by Edgar Allan Poe. I don't know why because they are very different.

'Twas noontide of summer,
And mid-time of night;
And stars, in their orbits,
Shone pale, thro' the light
Of the brighter, cold moon,
'Mid planets her slaves,
Herself in the Heavens,
Her beam on the waves.
I gazed awhile
On her cold smile;
Too cold- too cold for me-
There pass'd, as a shroud,
A fleecy cloud,
And I turned away to thee,
Proud Evening Star,
In thy glory afar,
And dearer thy beam shall be;
For joy to my heart
Is the proud part
Thou bearest in Heaven at night,
And more I admire
Thy distant fire,
Than that colder, lowly light.
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Review of personal essay  
Review by
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow, you can write! Its a beautiful descriptive, informative and yet personal story. I am now tempted to go backpacking myself in that area of Wind River Range. In Wyoming isn't it? I had to Google that and saw some beautiful pictures that went with it. But your story alone was enough for the experience. Very good.
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Review by
Rated: E | (4.0)
Funny story about storytelling in a story dressed up as a little romance. I liked it a lot. And it did have 299 words, I checked. The only thing was I, didn't understand the titel. My mistake probably, so I will read the story again to figure it out.
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