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330 Public Reviews Given
2,247 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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26
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In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello!
I enjoyed your poem about leaves in the stream. As a big fan of being in nature and around water, I was drawn to your piece. I like how you've used repetition of your initial stanza and how it weaves through the other images and feelings described, giving it a song-like quality. However, I found myself wondering why you added "float on and on in your way" for the last two repetitions but did not include that line in the beginning.

Loved the second stanza, how "from the inside out" made me see a leaf in the stream and at the same time introduced a more metaphorical reading of the line, that of searching for answers internally. "Behind the dawn" is an especially inventive phrase.

In the second to the last stanza, you say "So relax/Beauties eternal" and I think you mean "Beauty's eternal" (as in "beauty is eternal").

I think the poem could be tightened a bit for clarity of thought - "your hair up my sleeve," for instance, doesn't call forth a clear image of what you want to portray. And "Endless love" has become a trite phrase from overuse. Maybe try to find a way to say it in a unique way, as you did with "behind the dawn."

Overall, I found it to be an lovely, impressionistic poem that gave me a peaceful feeling.

Write on!

Amy



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
27
27
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi Destiny

Is this a true story? My son has autism (profound/severe) but I also am on the spectrum/Asperger's (although they aren't really using that term anymore, I understand.

And so I can relate -- to the feeling of panic when everyone's looking at you and using my long hair as a curtain drawn against the world.

A few suggestions: when you have internal dialogue (the repeated swear word in the beginning, for instance, try using italics. That way the reader is put right into the mind of the narrator.

There are a few places where you could shape up the sentences with better grammar - for instance, here is one edit. Your original paragraph:

"So we have a new student with us today," The teacher started,my face went bright red, "Lillian, would you please come to the front of the room and tell the class something about yourself?"

My edit to that paragraph:

"So we have a new student with us today," the teacher started. My face went bright red. "Lillian, would you please come to the front of the room and tell the class something about yourself?"

And here, you want the word "too" -- Oops, maybe that was to loud.

I like this part a lot:

I fell. On my face. Painfully.

The sharp small sentences mimic the fall, and it's effective. And here, you do it again:

This. Is. To. Much.

However, as before, you want to use "too," not "to."

Toward the end, "highway" is one word, and you need an apostrophe in "Im."

I might suggest adding more to this - about what happened after you got home, about how your brother acted toward you - or your parents - or the kids at school the next day. You draw your reader in nicely but then leave us hanging, wanting more. And that's a good thing!

Thank you for sharing.

Amy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
28
28
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hi - I would like to review this item but you have to change its rating. It should be rated 18+. Please change the rating and I'll come back to review.
29
29
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello! I found this gem among my fellow entries in the "Invalid Item contest. I really enjoyed your dreamlike, free verse interpretation of "Jack and the Beanstalk." It's so different from every other entry - and in a cool way! Your imagery and word choices take the reader along with Jack as he climbs.

I might suggest splitting it into stanzas; as it stands it's a lot to read all at once (visually, on the screen). I like how you've done that with the last bit.

I do love your original phrases which paint the poem with an artist's brush: soft, white dream; deepening vales and canyons; billowing land - and the sounds which weave through effortlessly - internal rhyme and assonance and alliteration. It's a beautiful piece.

Best of luck to you in the contest - not that you need it!

Amy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
30
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Review of Our Daily Rain  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this one! You've woven so many deliciously original phrases and sounds together - edges whispering, pinprick silvered drops, brushing hands and eyelids....all culminating in that clever couplet - forgive us our umbrellas indeed! BTW and this is true - I haven't used an umbrella in 30 years (or so). So there's that.

I can see why this won an awardicon, and why you have it featured in your port. I'd love to see England. Any suggestions? I've been all over Ireland and other parts of Europe, though.

Thanks for sharing your wonderful poem!

Amy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
31
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Review of Reality's Penalty  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello! I found your poem doing a random read. I loved the strength of rhyme and meter throughout, and found myself saying it out loud just for the awesome flow of sounds. We all know what happened to Titanic, but your poem really explores the arrogance associated with its construction - I love your conclusion that "Reality enforced the law."

Great writer's cramp entry - hope it won! Thanks for sharing.

Amy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
32
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This folder needs stars!

*StarfishB*
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Review of Day 5 - 1.17.13  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wow - there's so much here to love I don't know where to begin! So interesting how limited you were by the prompt, words not to use, words to include, etc. It makes your poem all the more impressive.

Right from the beginning, with:

Balanced on a
he said/she saw
of gymnastic proportions--

You employ such fresh, creative phrasing! It continues throughout - love that second stanza with its imagery - "more color from tatts than sun" is so pithy and descriptive.

So much metaphor throughout - and in the last stanza - "swinging in new directions, I pump and push" has both delicious sound and image.

Congrats on your awesome poem. Thanks for sharing!

Amy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
34
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Review of Done.  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ah, the whiners! So much fun to listen to constant complaints - not. Funny how I found this poem right after you read mine about being kind.

I hope you're not dealing with too much of this kind of thing in your personal life. It certainly is exhausting.

I love the message you impart. And although it's a choice to change oneself, change comes to those who won't as well...you can't fight the great turning wheel! Better to spend our days trying to be better people.

Thanks for sharing & have a great day!

Amy
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Review of To May  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello!
I saw your poem at the Writer's Cramp - congrats on your shared win and on accomplishing what I thought was a really difficult form.

I loved the opening "April became May" line - what an original phrase. I envisioned kind of a melting or shifting of one month into the next. Not sure how you managed to work in all that rhyme without it feeling forced, but it never does. Love how the end circles back again to May.

Thanks for sharing. Kudos!

Amy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
36
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello! I found this short story/dialogue doing a random read. I have a hard time when dialogue doesn't flow well. I know it rarely does in real life, but I want it to on the page. Yours flows *very* well. The only time I got hung up was when Tim said "heavy." Do teenagers still say that?

I also wanted to know more - which is to your credit, as you *made* me want to know more. But maybe include a few more details about the relationship between the father and Lyle. And I liked how you introduced the idea that his father is gay. It was a relief to me that Tim accepted it!

Thank you for sharing your work.

Amy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
37
37
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello! I found your poem doing a random read.

I liked the strong rhyme and meter in the first stanza and wanted it to continue. Your second stanza's first line breaks it, though. Maybe instead of "Rampant heartaches and hurt feelings," you could say "Rampant heartaches, feelings hurt" (which of course would require working the next line, but it solidifies that meter you've established at the beginning). If you hadn't started the poem with so strong a rhythm, it would be less noticeable when it's missing. The rest of the poem returns to that strong meter, which makes for a good flow.

I like how you take your reader through the emotions felt when writing, as well as the possible subject matter of the poetry. Love the line "poetic strokes amid distress!"

Thanks for sharing your poem about writing poetry!

Amy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
38
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Review of L'aura del Campo  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What a lovely, wonder-filled journal!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
39
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Review of Things Change  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great sonnet! I like the questioning, it makes the poem more personal to me. Things change indeed - it might be the only ultimate truth there is, really. Loved "I cannot strike a cord that you and I can dance to anymore." Hard to believe you came up with this so quickly. Color me impressed!
40
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for entry "before the storm
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Terrifying! I don't suppose the narrator survives...


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
41
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Review of Raspberry Morning  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello! I found this poem at Writer's Cramp. It looks like you've invented what I like to call a free verse form. I love it! Your poem is so full of sounds and smells, and yet it's not overfilled or forced. In pithy poetic phrases, you paint a clear picture.

I wonder who "he" is in the 3rd stanza. Is "Smile on sunshine
and let the full moon find our way" a piece of a song?

I like how the first and last stanzas take you through the cycles of each day and that the first stanza itself cycles back to the last stanza. Very cool!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
42
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Review of Hoar Frost  
Rated: E | (5.0)
These are lovely! Each one manages to effortlessly capture clearly an image without using trite phrasing or done-to-death metaphor. I love good haiku and yours all fit the bill. The idea of winter holding spring hostage, the sounds in "one more morning" - color me impressed. Thanks for sharing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
43
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for entry "a memory
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
full of images, tastes, smells, and feelings - in such a short poem. How cool!
44
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I came straight to your port after reading your entry in the Dew Drop Inn. Wow! Your tiny poem was amazing. As was this, and now I'm excited to read more of your work. Methinks I've found a kindred spirit!

I love tarot too...and how you've crafted a cyclic poem with the repetition at the end. The rhythm is intoxicating and fun to read aloud, which I've done now twice. It doesn't hurt that I feel a familiarity when I read it, like I could have written it, almost. I also loved the clipped images - ex.

I read "O" magazine back to front,
stir my sauces widdershins,
Can't parallel park.

You pack so much into just a few lines. What a wonderful piece!

Thank you for sharing. I'm grateful I found your port.

Amy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
45
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for entry "the folly
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello! This is awesomely cute and very funny. So pithy! You told a complete story in 8 lines. Color me impressed! Glad to be playing along writing a poem a day in the "Dew Drop Inn. I'm looking forward to reading more of your poetry. Thanks for sharing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
46
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Review of Haiku/Senryu 6  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Harlow!

I have missed you and am so glad I am here again among my poetry peeps. These 'poem pieces' are stunning, of course, as your work always is. You never cease to make me envious of your ability to find ever more interesting images and sounds. Bovine Einstein?! You are the coolest. It's official.

See you at the Dew Drop Inn!

Amy, the winklett


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of nov 14, 2018  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like this a lot and am a little surprised at its average ratings thus far.
It's minimalist, and doesn't use a whole lot of imagery, and somehow doesn't need it - indeed might suffer for its inclusion. Also the repetition of "isn't she" is very powerful...it's an understated feeling I perceive as somewhere between anger and apathy. Like maybe something Holden Caulfield would have written. I am definitely partial to shorter pieces, but there's a lot going on here, all of it good.

Thanks for sharing!

Amy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Talk  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello again

I also entered a poem today quickly after noon. I love poetry that looks interesting visually, so this was immediately pleasurable. You've woven the prompt words in seamlessly, too. I love the line "the wisteria's crying has nothing on me," as it immediately sets a cheeky tone that offsets the seriousness of the content.

I also enjoyed how your longer lines lead to the shorter ones on the right, as if the right-hand poem encapsulates all that's said on the left. How very cool & clever! My favorite line in the poem is "we're roses and snow, no longer in the same season." 2nd favorite is "this talk is to end with our conclusion." Fresh, original images and wordplay in a poignant piece.

Thanks for sharing!

Amy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Mayor Jones  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello

I found your port at Writer's Cramp, as I am a fellow 'cramper. I hesitate to read limericks here, because it seems most people mess up the rhyme or don't have a nice, strong meter, which I think a proper limerick should definitely contain. And so imagine how pleasantly surprised I was to read yours! It's a fun, clever piece.

Thanks for sharing!

Amy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Puzzle  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a fun read! I was wondering throughout if the main character would get caught snooping and sneaking around looking for that puzzle piece. Last year when Covid hit, I started doing puzzles. It's a good way to keep your brain in shape.

One major plot point, though, seems off - how could the found puzzle piece not be the right one if there was only one piece missing? Hmmmmm

Thanks for sharing your flash fiction!

Amy


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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