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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/worldmaster1
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14 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of BECAUSE I KNOW  
Review by The Philosopher
Rated: E | (4.5)
I think that this story is beautiful in the way that it portrays existence, and it is very original in the method of execution. I also like how the story is structured in poetic paragraphs, implying even more poetic rhythm. One way to improve is to make the story flow more, by possibly making the 2nd and 4th lines bear more similarity. Other than that, the story is almost flawless.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Dragon Slayer  
Review by The Philosopher
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
I think that your story was good in several ways, but it has a few areas to improve.

Firstly, it reviews a very cliche plot line, making your story seem uncreative.

In contrast, your poem has a good poetic rhythm.

Secondly, your poetic paragraphs aren't separated, making it look very cramped.

In contrast, your story uses a lot of detail, which is greatly appreciated.

In short, your story is relatively average; it isn't great or terrible, it just is.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of growing pains  
Review by The Philosopher
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This story was quite interesting in the way that the boy had to cope with these many things, and it allowed the reader to get a different perspective about youth in general. The story had minimal to no grammatical issues, stated many important points, and was very captivating and interesting.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of Daffodil Dreams  
Review by The Philosopher
Rated: E | (2.0)
This poem is quite interesting.

Positives: I like how personification is used, and I like the rhyming component. In addition, the grammar and spelling is above average, and some basic humanistic points are used.

Negatives: I feel that the story doesn't capitalize on innate human emotions and feelings very well, and its solid subliminal messages seem to clash in an awkward fashion. Secondly, the poem structure is awkward, as there is no space between paragraphs and the rhythm seems forced. Those two factors definitely suffocate a lot of the poem's potential.

Summary: The poem's structure looks average or above average, but the poem just seems rushed and meaningless even though some "meaning" was mentioned. The poem just doesn't hold up. When my spirit seems unaffected by a poem's core component, then it isn't a poem.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of Cherished Tears  
Review by The Philosopher
Rated: E | (5.0)
I think this story is quite beautiful in the way it projects the idea of others assisting during hard times, and how that can feel wonderful. It also encourages the reader to empathise with an unknown character, which is quite lovely. All in all, the story addresses many important points in only a few sentences.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Cusp  
Review by The Philosopher
Rated: E | (4.5)
I think this poem is beautiful in the way it talks about nature. It also explains how cold affects the wildlife very well.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review by The Philosopher
Rated: E | (3.5)
I think that the story is interesting, and it both has great points and room for improvement.

For the positive, I liked the message of courage, and it made the story have meaning rather than it simply being words on a page.

For the negative, your abundance of casual language and your short sentences are quite unpleasing to the reader.

In short, your story is worthy of 3 1/2 stars.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review by The Philosopher
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This story was great, and it made two points that I found interesting.

Firstly, the story stated that people made assumptions that something didn't exist when it did. In the metaphorical sense, that something could be anything from happiness, to a new job, to an A on a test at school, to simply anything that wasn't expected, but positive.

Secondly, it stated that conflicts need rebuilding. In the metaphorical sense, that could be a friendship or something of that nature.

In addition, there were no apparent grammatical mistakes.

All in all, I think that your story was great, and it is worthy of five stars.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of Samantha  
Review by The Philosopher
Rated: E | (3.5)
I thought that your short novel was great, besides two factors.

Firstly, you didn't put much detail in what the mosquito was saying. As an explanation, you simply put a simple idea as all the mosquito thinks about. When you personify stories, make the characters have multiple emotions, like humans do. You don't need to have five hours worth of dialog to do so, as you could just say "He was currently feeling..." or something along those lines.

Secondly, I would have preferred a longer story or a more poetic story this length, because your story lacks description.

Lastly, great job for not making any grammar-related mistakes that I can detect. I will give 50 GP for that. Enjoy!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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