|What a cute children's story! I liked the lesson at the end, something to show children the value of believing in oneself. Jerry the Elf is a sweet little character and I love the decription of him and his work clothes, etc. My only suggestion (and this, of course, is only my opinion. It's your story, afterall, and only you know what's best for it - so just take this as my suggestion and see what you think)... anyway, my only suggestion is that there are a couple places, turning points in the story, if you will, that seem a but rushed. For instance, when it's getting closer and closer to 6pm and time to load the sleigh, you briefly state that Jerry's toys start to look better, but I think that would be a great place to draw out the drama of the whole situation. If you "show" how his toys are getting better and how he's starting to feel better about himself, I think t makes it a more powerful story. Again, just my opinion, so use the idea if it works for you.
Overall, this is a cute story with a great message! I really enjoyed reading it. Welcome to the site and I hope to see you around.
Merry Christmas and Write On!