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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/write2b
Review Requests: ON
696 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
for entry "The Rescue
Rated: E | (4.5)
Flash fiction can be difficult to write, but I think you have done really well with this piece. Although there is little time to create the character and have the reader care about that character, I think you have done a fairly good job with that. It was a bit confusing at first - but that could have been 100% me.
Overall, I think you did an excellent job in very few words. It is difficult to convey a story in less than 300 words, and you gave the reader a great snapshot into the world of these two people, leaving us with all of the right questions: Who is he? Who is Arianna to him? Why was she stuck there? Oooohhh. All great stuff!
Thanks for sharing this piece with us.
Write on!
Beck


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Uninhabited  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a great story - the twist at the end made me stop cold. I completely did not see it coming, but it worked perfectly. This is a great sci-fi story. I happened upon it while looking at the Weird Tales contest, and I am glad I did. In less than 1,000 words, you presented Susan and Roger and made the reader care about them both. Awesome job on the entire story - the characters, the plot, everything.
Write on!
Beck
3
3
Review of Sprocket  
In affiliation with The Steampunk Authors' Gui...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for entering this piece into the Steampunk round of The Daily Flash! I love that this piece is from the perspective of a clockwork minion. The ending also made me smile. I do hope good Mr. Alexander does well in the race and survives. This Sprocket is very well written and the title is quite apt.
Steam on!
Boiler Lady Beck
4
4
In affiliation with The Steampunk Authors' Gui...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Thank you for entering the Steampunk round of The Daily Flash! Dr. Brown certainly does seem like a maniacal sort of fellow, to be sure! In very few words, you managed to cast him as such and to show the distain the world seemed to have for him, and him for it. It leads me to wonder… how did he become this way and what had the city done to him? Very nicely done!
Steam on!
Boiler Lady Beck
5
5
Review of One Word  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! A very powerful poem. I am not a poet and would never pretend to be, but I do enjoy reading good poetry and this really hit the mark with me. It's amazing the power of words and how they can transport us across time and space. I totally understand what you were getting at with this piece. I think many readers will. You have used so very few words to convey some strong emotions and to compel the reader to think before they speak. At least that was my take-away from it. Thank you so much for sharing this piece!
This was your 4th review for my package in "WDC Birthday Ice Cream Social 2018 . Thank you for bidding and thank you for inviting me into your port to read your work!
Write on!
Beck
6
6
Review of Spider Wars  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
HAHAHAHAHA! What an excellent tale! And I can totally understand where you're coming from. I am not a fan of any form of spider, insect.... any of it. Yuk! I feel creepy just talking about them. LOL. Such a fun little story you've written here. I especially like the fact that you are able to laugh at yourself over adventures like this. I feel bad for people who would experience something like this and then never tell anyone. Life's too short to take yourself too seriously. Thanks for the great read. *Smile*
Write on!
Beck
7
7
Review of The Memory Chest  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is such an awesome piece! I love to read pieces from others who partake in Songs, Movies, and More... I believe the title of the contest is something close to that. I loved entering this contest, and I'm really not sure why I don't anymore! I see it here still sometimes. But at any rate, you've told a wonderful, beautiful story here of going through your mother's things after she is gone. I've recently done the same thing, and memories are such funny, fleeting things sometimes. It's strange what sticks with you and what you forget by the time you see the clippings, pictures, etc. You expertly crafted in so many TV sitcoms from the 80s! You told a beautiful and fun story while still incorporating those titles. Excellent work!
This review was done as part of your winning package for "WDC Birthday Ice Cream Social 2018
Write on!
Beck
8
8
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Incredible story! I think what you went through, and the amazing school that you found eventually, could really help a lot of people. This slice-of-life piece is powerful and, even for kids who don't struggle with autism, a definite "must read". I remember being that kid that people picked on and made fun of. I loved school, but eventually it got to the point that it was really too much. Your story is a great one and I"m SO happy you found Aim High! Thousands of kids struggle with school and with social situations, and I think they could benefit from hearing your story of hope. I don't know whether you've thought of trying to get your story published or not, but I am sure there are places that would love to share your story with their readers. Good luck in college and on this amazing adventure we call life! Thank you for sharing this very personal story with everyone!
Write on!
Beck
9
9
Review of The Bar  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I ran across this story in the Horror newsletter from a couple weeks ago, and I'm glad I did. I love the fact that there are so many questions that are not really left open, but you don't hit the reader over the head with what happened, either. Your set up of the scene was great and the characters were ones that you could expect to find in any neighborhood bar. You definitely have a way with words and painting pictures with your words. Overall, I think this was an awesome story! The absolute only reason I didn't give this story a complete 5 stars was because you started out in past tense and then switched to present tense. Great story, though, and well worth the read! Definitely creepy!
Write on!
Beck
10
10
In affiliation with The Steampunk Authors' Gui...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was a great story! I loved the characters and the undertone of a love story amid all of the war it had started. I enjoyed reading this piece that you entered into The Pressure Valve. My only reason for not giving it a 5.0 was that I was confused a bit by the Gretchen and Grimelda names. When the robot/man left Gretchen to go see another person who was building his skin, it seemed to me like you called her Gretchen as well, but then used the name Grimelda later in the story... or maybe that was just how I read it.

Overall I think this was a really good story with great characters. Have you thought of expanding it - even into a novel-length? I think you have some great characters that will really pull a reader through an even much-longer piece than this. Excellent work!
Write on!
Beck
11
11
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
I am writing this review as part of your shower from "Invalid Item. I have to say, first of all, that I loved this piece! I see your word count at the end, so I know there was some restriction on that, but I think you have included all of the best elements of a story here. You have characters that are very real and not one-dimensional. This story has a lot going on, and it could be really confusing, but your use of scene breaks works very well to allow the reader to process one scene before moving on to the next. The mother's anguish, acceptance, and then moving forward brings the story along and provides the underlying current that will keep the reader reading. I loved that Marcy. I also really liked the fact that Kayla stayed true to a 10-year-old girl throughout the ordeal. She could very well have provided more to the story - but then would not have ringed true as a young girl. You did a great job with keeping her in character and showing the story through her eyes - the eyes of a child.

Overall, I think this was a very good story. I would recommend this as a good read for anyone looking to enjoy some great characters in a story providing hope. Thank you for sharing this great piece with us!
Write on!
Beck

SAJ Christmas Signature by Legerdemain
12
12
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am writing this review as part of your shower for "Invalid Item. This is the second piece I've read of yours with Sul'hupkaar as the main character - and it is even more intriguing than the first! At first it is not clear exactly what the dark elf wants with this magnificent stallion, nor is it clear how he intends to bend the horse to his will. But you laid that all out very well and made this seem like an ultimate attack on King Sauric. It is much more evil than simply killing the man would be. More pieces of the puzzle are put into place with this piece. I am really enjoying this character who, although he is definitely dark and menacing, does seem to have human qualities that will make a reader really care about him and want to follow him through this journey that he is taking as your story unfolds.

There was a POV shift at the end, as we see things through the eyes of King Sauric - but I am not sure what else you could have done in this instance. We do need to experience what this was like through Sauric's eyes to some degree. I am guessing that these character pieces are all part of a larger work, so I would think that POV shifts could be handled by chapter breaks and things like that.

Overall, this is another awesome piece showing us even more about Sul'hupkaar and what his motivations are and will be as the story moves on. I like the fact that, although he emanates evil, he has an almost angelic singing voice (I won't give away too much to those reading this review before reading your work)... it worked very well and, I believe, made your main character not only more believable, but also more likable in a way... or at least, a reader may identify with him that much better. You have created a very deep, three-dimensional character and I think he will definitely hold the reader's interest.

Awesome character development!
Write on!
Beck

SAJ Christmas Signature by Legerdemain
13
13
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I am writing this review as part of your shower for "Invalid Item. This is an awesome introduction to your character Sul'hupkaar! The evil elven figure comes across very well. I like the mystery involved in the scene, too. While you did tell us what Sul'hupkaar looked like, you did also use reactions of others and interactions with them, to show us much more about the dark elf. This piece has a very ominous feel to it, which I'm sure was your intent... very nicely done!

I only noticed two small things that I wanted to mention: First, when Sul'hupkaar goes to see the smith. I would take it that the smith is either sitting or bent over, but it just seemed weird to me (and it could very well just be the way I read it) when you wrote," The smith that looked up at him was a giant of a man, easily a head and a half taller than Sul’hupkaar." It just read weird to me that the smith, who should have towered over the evil elf, was looking up at him - after rereading it, it made me realize that the smith was probably not in a complete upright position, though.

The only other thing I noticed was in the last two sentences. You seem to switch POV at the end there. Suddenly we are inside the head of the man rather than your main character. That is so easy to do when you want to be able to show something the other character is thinking or feeling, so I understand how it could happen. But, we are experiencing this all from your main character's POV, so it should stay that way throughout the entire piece.

Overall, I think this is an awesome introduction to your character and the way you have expertly laid the scene makes me definitely want to read more. I like the fact that there are unanswered questions and that you have made the reader care enough about the characters to want to continue to read. Very well done!

Write on!
Beck

Christmas tree sig for SAJ made by Kiya
14
14
Review of Hopeful Tomorrow  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This piece struck me as very cool. I am not a poet and I would never think that I could say as much as you have in so few words - I loved the way this poem brought me up and down, then up and down, and then yet made both feel as if they are okay. One of the things I love about poetry is that, with perfectly chosen words, the writer can evoke so many emotions. I believe you have done this with this particular piece. And yet it is written in a conversational tone. I think you did a good job of conveying what happens to, I think, all of us, at one time or another. One of the things I really like is that you left it on a positive, but yet unknown, note. Thank you for sharing!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy.  Thanks, Pat!
15
15
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I am writing this review as part of your shower from "Invalid Item. WOW! Was the first thing that came to my mind when I finished this piece. The story starts out with the reader thinking, "Solid story start; interesting character; should be a good read," and ends with the reader yelling, "Holy *Bleep*!"... or, at least if nothing else, any reader with a pulse will feel a heightened sense of concern for Harvey. I would be a very happy reader to know that there is more to this story - that you will fill me with a whole novel full of Harvey and... Pete, if he is still able! I love the characters you have created and I think it would be great to follow them through this entire adventure. Thank you for sharing this piece. I truly enjoy your writing style and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Write on!
Beck

Christmas tree sig for SAJ made by Kiya
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16
Review of I Am Okay  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What an awesome acrostic piece! These are always a challenge to me and I find them fun to write sometimes - but this one really hit a place that I think most of us have been at least at one point or another in our lives. I also like the progression that it seems to make as the lines go on. Thank you for sharing this great piece of poetry!
Beck
Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy.  Thanks, Pat!
17
17
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for entering the Santa, Elves, and Reindeer contest. Thank you, also, for sharing this piece with everyone on WDC. I think it's important for everyone to remember why we are lucky enough to be able to celebrate our religious holiday of Christmas (and so many other holidays) - we owe so much to our soldiers who give everything to ensure our freedom.
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest,
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy.  Thanks, Pat!
18
18
for entry "Newtown
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for your take on this prompt and for being a member of Blog City. I look forward to reading more of your entries.
** Image ID #1907886 Unavailable **
Beck
19
19
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I am reviewing this poem as part of your shower for Showering Acts of Joy. I don't write a lot of poetry or claim to be an expert in any sense, but I do know what I like in poetry, and this is definitely a poem that speaks to me. The last stanza of this poem puts into words the feeling of the entire piece... a lyrical dance. The whole piece seems to tumble and dance, if that makes sense, and has an uplifting feeling to it. For me, it makes the reader think that anything is possible and that words have the power to transport. Thank you for sharing this great piece of poetry!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy.  Thanks, Pat!
20
20
Review of Wicked Thoughts  
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I love Midas Mike! This piece is great. I like the way you've created the software guy in the persona of a P.I. and made it all work so seamlessly. I also like the subtleties that are scattered into this story that fit the genre. Midas Mike is a strong character, but I'm sure that every reader can also "see" Monica, too, and understand her as a character. Overall, another awesome story and a great read that I would recommend to anyone. Thanks for sharing and good luck in NaNo this year!
Write on!
Beck

** Image ID #1520125 Unavailable **
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21
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What a great story! I didn't know, until the very end, what might be happening, but you definitely"paid" the reader for taking time to read this piece. You made me feel as though I was there, in this bar, with your main character.

Short fiction can be relaly difficult, but you've done a great job with it here. You started out with a very strong hook. Any reader would want to know what happened to the girl's face. When you mentioned Halloween in the middle of the piece, it took a bit of the apprehension away, but not all of it. There was something that didn't seem as though it could be explained away that easily (again, very well done!). The end brought resolution and relief without hitting the reader over the head with what happened. I love the fact that I truly wondered what happend to your main character after that incident, which means you created a great character in such a short span of time. Another awesome feat. Thanks for sharing!
Write on!
Beck

** Image ID #1860992 Unavailable **
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Review of The Clock Tower  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow! I kept hoping that something, anything would happen to change the outcome of this story... which means that the character of the little boy you depicted was very strong: great job! There was a motive of sorts at the end, and I think that "helped", if you will, with the Sanger character. I'd definitely like to know more about him and why he felt the boy should meet the end Sanger had planned for him. This is definitely an interesting story.

Have you ever thought about adding a bit to it? The only reason I ask is that even evil characters have to have something about them that a reader can identify with (at least that is what I've learned, and I think it does help), and we see the start of that in Sanger's character, but this left me wanting to know more about what he was thinking. I don't think that's a bad thing at all - I love stories that make me fill in some of the blanks (as long as it is done in a way such as you have here, where I have the basics and am left to extrapolate the few tendrils of the storyline that fade off, if you will). I was jsut curious if you'd ever thought about expanding it.

Either way, this was an awesome story, and I believe my first word explained my reaction perfectly when I finished reading.... I just didn't think "wow!" was a proper review. *Smile* Thanks for sharing this great piece!
Write on!
Beck

** Image ID #1860992 Unavailable **
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Review of Night and Day  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It is very easy to see why this is a 1st Place winner! This is a great story about two people who grow up, and grow old, as inseperable friends. Maybe these things only come along once in life.... in this piece it seems to be true. I loved the way you showed and entire lifetime of events and feelings in such an effortless style. The ending, also, was excellent. It was peaceful, in a way, and, truly, the only way the story should have ended. Very moving. Overall an excellent read and I would recommend this piece to anyone!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy.  Thanks, Pat!
24
24
Review of Second Chance  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What an awesome story!! I'm a HUGE NCIS fan, and I think you've captured Gibbs' personality perfectly. I would have never thought about Shannon and Kelly being in the witness protection program. That's a great twist. I cannot say enough about this story of a reunion that I'm sure many NCIS fans wish would happen. I enjoyed how you revealed who the woman was that Gibbs was watching.

Overall, this was a great story with awesome characters. You took characters that I've seen and followed on TV and portrayed them in such a light with the written word that they are completely believable and true to the characters we know and love. Excellent job with this piece!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy.  Thanks, Pat!
25
25
Review of What If....  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a very moving story. While this small piece of a bigger war happened near the Lebanon border, it could be any war, anywhere. I think it will resonate with every reader in a way that most have experienced "how small" the world really is. I think you did an excellent job creating a story that is so much more than the words you have written. It is a universal theme and you did a great job with it!

One thing I noticed in your story was that the snippets about Daniel and Talia's feelings for and connection with him seemed a bit ... I don't know what the words are.. not really "out of place", but maybe a bit "forced" (although that word is too harsh as well). It just seemed like things were happening in the story and all of a sudden it broke off into Talia's thoughts about Daniel. I'm not sure exactly how to rectify that, or if it was just me, but it was just a feeling I got when I read the piece. My only other bit of constructive criticism would be the ending... You've set it up perfectly for the reader to draw his/her own conclusion about the role that Daniel played in Talia meeting Oded. I would (and this is just me, so if it doesn't work for you, that's fine) just leave it at "Life was a strange business." And maybe also leave in the last two lines. But, like I said, that is nothing more than my opinion. If it works for you, great. If not, just disregard it. It is your story and only you know best in that regard.

Overall I think you did a great job with the characters and I think readers will be emersed into your "story world". You've built characters that are believable and that readers will connect with, which is difficult in shorter fiction - but you did a great job with it! This was a great story. Thank you for sharing it for everyone to read!
Write on!
Beck
Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy.  Thanks, Pat!
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