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742 Public Reviews Given
782 Total Reviews Given
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51
51
Review of Bite me  
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
LOL! This is awesome! I just happened upon this piece as I was looking through the Read a Newbie section... and I'm happy I did. You captured so much in so few words, and I really had to laugh, because I think we all felt exactly the same way at some point when we first came on the site. I hope you truly enjoy your time here at WdC! Good luck in all of your writing adventures. Thanks for the laugh!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
52
52
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I am sending this review as an M2M Review for Rising Stars. Ah yes, "Know your limitations." A very good piece of advice. *Smile* I enjoyed this little comedic piece - I think many of us have been there, putting together the bicycle on Christmas Eve only to find we have extra pieces. And when you are, as you stated, "Mechanically Declined", it makes it even worse.

This piece made me laugh and I'm sure it's one that most readers will connect with, no matter their level of expertise in the area. Thanks for the entertaining read!
Write on!
Beck

** Image ID #1779557 Unavailable **
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53
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is awesome, Rixy! I never thought of using the "find and replace" feature in Word quite this way. Of course, I've used it in my novel writing when I've decided to change a character's name or something of that sort, in revisions.... but never like you have suggested here.

It really makes sense to search for the offending words and then rewrite the sentences. I love this idea!
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54
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
WOW! This is an awesom piece! The subject matter is definitley not for everyone, but I thought this was awesome - a man experiencing his own death, his own last moments on Earth. There are so many great word images in this piece that I could fill paragraphs. The first one that truly struck me was, "The rough hemp ropes abrading my wrists, holding them tightly above my head, are no stronger fetters than those of their delusion."

This isn't just a tale of a man and his death, but of human beliefs and the lengths masses will go to keep their own ideal sacred. At times the masses seem happier to do away with those with differing opinions than they do to open their minds to other thoughts. I can't say enough about this piece. The beginning, for some reason, seemed reminiscent of A Tale of Two Cities, although I can't place exactly why.

Overall, this piece is very well written and each word compells the reader to the next.
Write on!
Beck

** Image ID #1779557 Unavailable **
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55
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a great story! I liked the way the artist in the gallery speaks about the paintings, and the way the main character is so obviously drawn in. I could see the paintings through the words you used - or mayb more so through the feelings you evoked with those words. I think this story plays on one of the most basic of human fears... the idea that one may not be in any way in control of one's own life.

When the main character turned back around to see the restaurant in its rightful place, the experience still gnawed at him, as I think it would at anyone. Your characters were very realistic and your story very well told. Thank you for sharing!
Write on!
Beck

** Image ID #1718355 Unavailable **
56
56
Review of Georgie Flies  
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Great story! This story follows George through various stages in his life. You made those transitions very easy to follow, which makes a big difference in a story like this. I also liked the way you used to foreshadowing with the dragon's comments to George when he was a child. The reader knows that the dragon will come back (or at least that he promised to come back), but not when.

I really enjoyed the images of George as a child in the grocery store. He was definitely a typical kid, bored with the whole experience. Then we see George as an adult... with a life he hadn't quite expected. I could definitely feel the shift in the mood of the story here, which was great. I did notice a couple things in this part of the story, though: At one point you had George thinking back on the Shur Save market that his mom used to go to, but then it was a WalMart again shortly after. I'm not sure if it was meant to be two different stores or if it just didn't get changed out during revisions - but I thought I'd mention it.

The more the reader learns about George as an adult, I think, the more they can connect with him. While his life does have some extremes that many people don't experience, I think a lot of people can look at their life now and compare it to what they thought it would be like when they were a kid (George is definitley not flying and fighting crime... and neither am I!). I could definitely see his house and feel how his overall attitude had changed.

In the last part, when George is an elderly man, again he is changed a bit. He seems simpler and content in the fact that he's in his 70s. It's almost as if some of his childhood is returning. He doesn't like being where he is, of course, and he just wants to go home - but his life seems less pressured.

The only other thing I saw in this story that was... not really confusing, I guess, but it didn't really seem to "mesh", if you will. When George is an adult he talks about how Georgie would rather do anything than be home listening to his parents fight. Then, a bit later in the story we find out that George and Fran are actually divorced and that George live alone. The way Georgie is mentioned, though, and his reasons for after school activities, makes it seem as thought his parents are still together. Just a thought.

Overall, this was an awesome story! Even when George is looking back on his adult life and all of the problems and sadness, there's still a ribbon of hope that runs through this story. You did an awesome job with switching moods and the overall feel of the story as time goes on in George's life. Very well done!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
57
57
Review of Friday NightShort  
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I just happened upon this piece while looking through black case ports. I've been a restaurant manager for 20 years or so, and, of course, I had to read this one! As they say, misery loves company. But, seriously, if we didn't love it, we wouldn't do it.

I think this is a good piece, but I think it would resonate more with a "non-industry reader" if it were expanded. What I mean is.... I know all of the other things that are on your plate at the same time as the ovens going out and the hostess having, as we call it, "non-human colored hair", but I'm not sure others would. I'd like the hear plates breaking, smell a fryer with oil that has lived past its useful life, experience a conversation with an unhappy customer (you know, the one who absolutely cannot be satisfied, but will carry on loudly so that everyone else can hear him), and feel the heat of the kitchen as it permeates your pores.

Of course, these are just some suggestions. Ultimately, it's your piece and only you can decide how to present it. Of course, as I'm sure you know, each time a new person speaks it should start a new paragraph - that would help make the reading easier. I think more dialogue might be the best way to expand this piece and truly bring the reader to where most have never been.... the BOH!

This piece did make me laugh (and I think we all do, when it's all over). When I read the part about the accurate head-count, I thought, "Heck, that's 3/4 of the battle right there!"
*Smile*
I also love the baseball analogy that runs through this piece. Because I've run a few restaurants where just getting people to show up was the battle, I often think of a pick-up basketball game at the park - you play with who shows up!

It's great to know there's another WdC member who really understands what I have gone through on a daily basis! On a personal note.... people might think we're crazy, but there's no better game in town, is there?
Write on!... and thanks for sharing. It made my day!
Beck
58
58
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like this dramedy episode. It feels kind of like Seinfeld-in-a-library. I like the fact that each of the people invovled have a well-defined character and they stay true to themselves throughout. They are all very believable characters. You've written them well. This is a good read, but I can defiinitely see how it would come alive much more as a television episode! I think this piece definitely has potential. Will you be writing more episodes? I'd love to read them if you do. Thanks for introducing me to these folks!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
59
59
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This story cracked me up! Of course, I'd never thought about the difficulties of life as a vampire. Your sense of humor really comes out well in this piece. I loved the "family business". *Smile* Definitely not what I expected. And, ah yes, the almost doomed relationship. I love this character. I'd like to see more stories about him. Any in the works? Thanks for the great read!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
60
60
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for entering the Santa, Elves, and Reindeer contest!

This is a cute story about a group of kittens learning about Christmas. In their voices and actions it was easy to imagine a bunch of kittens frolicing through the house and getting into mischief, putting on a play, but eventually fighting about who go to ride in the sleigh and who would have to pull the others. Very cute. For such a short piece, my personal opinion, though, is that there are a few too many characters for the reader to really keep them all straight. Maybe giving each one a different "voice" or something to set them apart from the others would be good? I know that's hard to do in flash fiction with this many characters, but it's just an idea. Overall I thought this was a very cute and heart-warming sort of story. Thanks for the great read!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
61
61
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Thank you for entering the Santa, Elves, and Reindeer contest!

A chilling, Christmas horror tale! I loved it. My favorite part was the ending, which wrapped everything up and answered all the questions in such a way that it was still part of the story. I won't give away too much in my review for those who haven't read this yet, but this was a very different take on Santa and his... um, cult following? *Smile* This is a very well-written piece and will definitley pull the reader through to the end - we must know what's going on with John. Thanks for the great read!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
62
62
Review of Getting Ready  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Thank you for entering the Santa, Elves, and Reindeer contest!

This is a good look at the "other side" of December's favorite Jolly Man. I liked the fact that you gave Santaa bit of a gruff personality - nervous getting ready for the big flight. It gave him a somewhat more human quality, and I liked that.

Rodney the elf was nervous, too - he has to make sure everything is right and ready to go. It's the biggest night of the year for them, much like a theatre opening, they need to pull off "opening night" without a hitch.

The only reason I didn't give this story a higher rating was that I was left wanting to know more. Maybe show what happened when McAngel tried out the equipment, or Santa finding out something was overlooked, etc. The story just seemed to kind of end too quickly for me. Of course, that is definitely just my opinion. It's your story, and only you know what works best. Thanks for the entertainint read!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
63
63
Review of Katie's Christmas  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for entering the Santa, Elves, and Reindeer contest!

This is a great story about a woman who falls on hard times, finds help, and then helps others who have fallen on hard times, too. The mysterious envelope from S.C. finds her just in time. What I like about this story is that it not only helps her, but others as well. I'm sure her boys are right - S.C. has to be Santa Claus *Wink* Thanks for the great read!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
64
64
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for entering the Santa, Elves, and Reindeer contest!

This piece has a great message, shown in a conversation with Santa on Christmas Eve. I think any reader would look at his or her own life and see all of the things they have, rather than the material things that they think are important. I hope that people run across this piece in your port throughout the year and it reminds them of all of the things that they have. Thank you for this great story!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
65
65
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for entering the Santa, Elves, and Reindeer contest!

I loved the "Santa magnet" tree! I could see this entire story through the eyes of a precious little boy who was doing everything he could to try to attract Santa, despite the hungry blackbirds. The idea of "getting credit" for donating some of his most prized posessions made me smile, too. I can really see a child doing something like this.

For me, there were several messages in this piece, but one of the biggest ones was the fact that how "rich" we are is not measured in monetary terms - there's so much more to life.
Thanks for this great story!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
66
66
Review of Dear Santa  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for entering the Santa, Elves, and Reindeer contest!

This story cracked me up. I could see the "drunk" in the bar, not really "getting it" at first - more offended that the animals didn't have names than the fact that there were a bunch of cows in the bar. You created an awesome character here. His voice came through very well, adn he seemed well-developed for such a short piece. I liked the fact that Santa, too, had fallen on hard times (and, if he got those cows from someone in Wisconsin, I'll have to see if any of my neighbors are missing any! *Smile* ). I've read quite a few stories about people who learn to believe in Santa Claus again... but never one quite like this. Thanks for the awesome read!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
67
67
Review of Santa is real  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for your entry in the Santa, Elves, and Reindeer Contest!

This story really touche my heart. It truly shows that the real meaning of Christmas is alive and well in the hearts of so many people. This season really can bring out the best in people, as was the case for you and your family last year. I also think it's great that you were able to return the favor as times got better for you and your family. Thank you for this heart-warming story!
Write on!
Beck

Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
68
68
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This story cracked me up! I could see the lightbulb coming on over your head as you said, "Well, Duh! It's creatures from a parallel universe!" HA HA. I've been a restaurant manager for many years and have always blamed careless bussers for my missing spoons (Yes, I've had this problem in several restaurants!)... but your story makes it much clearer to me! *Smile* I now know the answer to one of life's fundamental questions... and maybe to the question of the socks in the laundry. This whole story cracked me up as you delineated other events that seem to support your hypothesis. I did notice one small error - he word "bait" (bate) was misspelled. Very small, though, in relation to the laughs this story gives. Thanks for the great read... and for the answer I have searched for for years!
Write on!
Beck
Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
69
69
Review of Over Night Freeze  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a cute little story. While the name of the town is an integral part of the story, the Mayor kind of reminds me of any small town mayor - not easily shaken. It made me smile to think of my own mayor in the same situation "huh. Crashed. Well, might as well have some coffee." His take on the situation made me chuckle. When you introduced the town, I kind of thought there might be some reference to it somehow with the temperatures and such, but adding the CNN reporter was a nice touch. Thanks for the great read.
Write on!
Beck
Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
70
70
Review of First Date  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Another great comedy! The dialogue in this piece was incredibly real, bringing the characters to life for me. I could see Rob and Dave, even without a lot of decscription about them (which coudn't be done with the word count restrictions), and their words and actions were very real. Dave was obviously sober and trying to get the story from his drunken friend Rob. The fact that he kept saying, "Dude"... a personal quirk that I see a lot, gave him life, I think.

Excellent job with this piece.... and I agree. Snakes I could handle, but... a must read!
Write on!
beck
Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
71
71
Review of Augie  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a great story. At first I was very sad for Auggie and his siblings. Having adopted dogs from shelters before, I know all too well the problems many of them have had in their pasts. I also liked the mystery of how Billy's dream came to be a reality. My one and only suggestion for this piece is that, while most of the story is told from Billy's POV, one paragraph switches to his mom's POV. Overall this was a great story and one that I would recommend to someone wanting an uplifting read.
Write on!
Beck
Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
72
72
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
There is a great twist at the end of this story! I really didn't expect this story to end how it did, and I was happy to see it end that way (I'm a sucker for a happy ending. *Smile* ). At first read I was confused as to why parents of an abducted child would move so often. To me it would seem as though they would want to stay in one place hoping beyond hope that their son would somehow find his way home. Looking deeper into the story, though, it seems Marnie would need to be away from the memories - it may be too much for her to stay in the same home they once shared with their small son. I think you laid out the grief of the parents very well, as well as an attempt to move on while still holding out some hope for their son. Thanks for the great read.
Write on!
Beck
Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
73
73
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was an intriguing excerpt. The description in the beginning of the snowball fight and Sue Beth and Joshua painted a vivid picture for me and brought me back to my own childhood, enjoying the beginning of winter and the heavy snows we used to play in all day long.

At first I wasn't sure what the mansion was or who the people involved were (which I'm sure would be cleared up when reading the entire novel), but as I continued on I realized that Nick, in this excerpt, at least, was more important. Reading this small piece, I believe, would make any reader want to read the entire work - you've left us with a mystery. Is Nick really Santa Claus? If so, what is he doing here? How did he get here? You've certainly piqued my curiosity! Thanks for the great read!
Write on!
Beck
Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
74
74
Review of Winter Solstice  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an excellent poem about the waning winter giving way to longer days and the rebirth we know as spring. I'm glad I happened upon this poem at this time. It makes me think of the spring and summer to come - always a welcome thought when day light hours are short and the temperatures are below zero! (as you can tell, I'm not much for winter weather and sports. *Smile* ) Thanks for the great read!
Write on!
beck
Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
75
75
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a wonderful poem. It shows that sometimes we, as people, are so focused on the "end result" (in our careers, our lives, etc...), that we forget to focus on the journey, and that is what is really important. It's awesome that you've finally found someone to enjoy the journey with. Thanks for sharing this part of your life with us.
Write on!
Beck
Sig gifted to me by Pat from Showering Acts of Joy. Thanks, Pat!
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