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367 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Sick Day  
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a great story! It reminds me of the days when I used to call in sick when I wasn't sick. I am glad to say that I learned better now. In fact, now, I feel guilty for calling in sick when I am sick :)

The only thing I can think to add is did this affect your job? I mean did you have a pink slip waiting for you when you got back?

Good job
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Review of Prologue  
Review by werden
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like the way you describe the scene and the characters. It is a good beginning.
However, your paragraphs were to large. They made it very difficult to read. I think you need to shorten your paragraphs.
Also, whenever someone is speaking try and put their quotes in a single paragraph if possible. That helps with the story flow.
Your sentence in the end was intriguing. I think you may have something interesting here.
Write on.
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Review of Splitting Wood  
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed the interaction between the man and his father. I also liked the way you described his fathers house. Everything seemed so down to earth.
I think you did a good job
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Review of Blue M&M  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I thought this was very good. I loved the way you started off with the main character.. giving us one impression of him making us almost feel sorry for him. Then you slowly brought us into his madness. I shivered as you described his killing his family with no remorse or regret.
You used great descriptions.
I thought the ending was just perfect. I was wondering throughout the story when this guy would get what he deserved.
I really can't find any criticism. Overall you did a good job.
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105
Review by werden
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Your observations are right on the mark. I too wonder hearing the groans and screams coming from those individuals around me on their machines. I wonder if they are lifting more than is good for them. I also wonder if they sound like that in a certain dark room if you know what i mean. I loved your observation about the cheeseburger and beer. It reminds me of the people i see walking outside at work smoking a cigarrette. Kinda defeats the purpose.
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Review by werden
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is funny. I am sure your good doctor wouldn't see the humor in this :). I wonder how much of this is true. I hope you really did tell the doctor this.
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107
Review by werden
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
You can tell a story! Your descriptions were very good drawing me right in. I loved how you used the spirit to possess the writer to tell her story. I also loved the ending. Quite chilling.
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108
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed your thoughts. I agree with them. God's will is best. However, we must remember that people have come from broken homes and broken lifes. You say, how can we doubt God's will is best for our lifes? I submit to you that my father was never there for me. He pretty much ignored me. I subconsciously see God as the same way. We all see God as we do our Fathers. I can personally testify the struggle to distinguish what the world has done to me and who God is. I know other people have the same struggle and my heart goes out to them.
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109
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
All very good points. Points christians need to ponder on as much as possible.
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110
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was cute. All this time you had the reader suspecting some undercover mission and it was just not what we expected. i think you set this up quite nicely. I love the suprise ending. Good job :)
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Review of Therapy  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I find this short and twisted. I liked it. :) Even though I think you should replace kinda with kind :). Overall, i think you did a good job in under 1000 words.
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Review of Fireside Story  
Review by werden
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I liked the way you began this. I was able to get into the character and his situation from the very beginning.
Also, I thought your short paragraphs made this easy to read. There was only one grammatical error that I noticed. At the end of the second paragraph there should be a space between the and wind.
However, I am not to fond of the ending. I would have liked to see more conflict. I think Tom went down to easy :).
Still, overall nicely written.
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Review of Dragonfly  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
That is a good but sad story. Still, It is good to know that the boy was able to make the right decision. I would probably stay the dragonfly to. I would hope the girl would some day find out what he did. I don't know the original story but this looks like a nice translation. Nice Job.
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Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for your comments. It does put things in perspective. It is sad, very sad, to hear people's attitudes towards the victims of Katrina. Granted, like you said, there were some who brought that on themselves. But, not everybody. Some people may not learn until the disaster is on their door step. Thanks again.
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Review of Do Chistians Sin?  
Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.0)
If what you say is true than nobody is saved on this earth because everybody sins.
Romans 7:14 'For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin.' Paul here was referring to his flesh. Later on he says. 7.20 'Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin dwells in me'.
1 John 2:1 'My little children, these things i write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous' If no christian ever sinned why would we need an Advocate?
the clincher
1 John 1:8 'If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us'.

We are saved from the power of sin that is true but christians still have their flesh to deal with and until either we die or the Lord comes we will still struggle with our own flesh and we will still sin. Jesus died for all our sins, past, present and future. He had to we weren't even born when he died.
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Review by werden
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very good analysis. I will save this so I can review it or perhaps share it with others. I have often been troubled by the assumptions of evolutionists that they are right and everyone else is wrong. I think they do that on purpose because nobody wants to be wrong. I think it is an agenda, personally. I always wanted to ask if we evolved from apes, why are there still apes? :). Good writing.
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Review of The Hardest Blow  
Review by werden
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
That is hard. I can't imagine anyone having a job like that. I have to admit though someone would make a lot of money if he got to keep it. :) Very amusing. Good job.
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Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I thought this was very good. You described the character well. You potrayed youthful lust and obsession very well. Overall I thought you did a good job. I can imagine what Frank saw in Kate were her feelings for him. Except he never made his move. I wonder what happened to him? Good writing.
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Review of The Arms  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I thought this was very enjoyable. You told this very well. I was caught in it from the very beginning. I take it that Jimmy killed the narrators parents. If so, why did he wait so long to do it? Still that mystery adds flavor to your story. Very good writing.
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Review of Awakening  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I liked this. I liked the way you started this slowly bringing the character slowly to life. I also liked the way you ended it. I enjoy the concept of redemption especially for the supposedly unredeemable. I wish you could have perhaps gone a bit deeper into the characters background but still nicely done.
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Review by werden
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I liked the plot and the story. However, it pretty seems over with doesn't it? I could see maybe his parent's killers coming after Jacob or the papers he has? Or maybe his parents could show up and communicate with him in some way? I would have liked to see more supernatural encounters with his parents.

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Review of Soul Survivor  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was sad but good. It is hard for me to imagine the kind of mentality that would do something like that but yet somehow I can. I gather that you based your story on an actual news story. I really enjoyed it and I can't think of any criticism.
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123
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I thought this was good. Several things I enjoyed about it.
1)It was creepy
2) your descriptions were good
3) the ending was a twist from what I expected
The only suggestion I will make is I think you can space your paragraphs better which will make it easier to read
Also I think your transitions from scenes in the end was sloppy. It was difficult to tell when the scene shifted.

Still a very good job
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Review of Visions from God  
Review by werden
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
That is a wonderful story. You are absolutely right. We must be open to God's Holy Spirit. Yes, there have been abuses of gifts and there will still be abuses of gifts. But we must not let that stop us from responding to God the best way we know how.
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Review of Full Glasses  
Review by werden
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I think this is very good. It is almost as if you had experienced this or know someone who has. Your detail is incredible. I have to admit i thought the boyfriend did it to, but clearly he was proved innocent. I really don't have any criticisms that I can think about. Sorry about that. Very good job.
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