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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/yezall
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14 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Only one real mistake in second paragraph ( beforeToyah then) just forgot a space. A lot of people complain about passive voice, you have some examples here: to be stuck, was wedged, etc. Fact is, this is how people talk. I don't mind it. Just bringing it up in case it becomes a problem for you, you will know what they mean. One misspelled word over looked in the last sentence. (Freed) The story its self was cute and entertaining. Enjoying the writing is the purpose, its what counts and you accomplished that for me, just be aware of the other small stuff.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of The Insider  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I liked the oddness of this story. It was fairly well written with very little for me to comment on. I would try to use more descriptive words in place of creature, its instead of it's, some hyphens were missing Razor-sharp, but generally a great read. Thank you for posting


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Rated: E | (4.5)
Writing is a great way to express our feelings. Especially in poems. Many people struggle with the feelings you talk about here, and this also lets them know they are not alone. I'm not sure what I could comment on here that would be of help to you writing wise. Just one line I stumbled over:

"When all I want to do more than anything I smile"

Did you men to say When all I want to do more than anything IS smile?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Rated: E | (5.0)
FYI, this is the only one I could review, the other one is access restricted.

This piece comes through as very heart felt. Some people just use words, you express them. I envy those who write poetry, it's not something I'm good at. I loved how you hinted at reincarnation at the end, beautiful. Thank you for posting.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of Between Friends  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Beautiful! This mirrors the relationship I have with a friend from high school. Very nicely written,although a short story, I could see this becoming a novella at the very least. Expanding possibly to old adventures or maybe new ones! You write in a way that keeps people reading, wanting more. Good job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
How sad, but thank you for sharing. I have four cats at the moment but many have walked in my heart. I feel the pain of losing a friend, it comes through very well in this piece. You write from the heart and your words describe very nicely the power of your emotions.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of Farmyard Noir  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really enjoyed this! You did a marvelous job making the farm animals come to life. The actual story was really cute and worthy of story time with my grandson. It taught a harsh lesson, but in an entertaining way. Good job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of FLY  
Rated: E | (4.0)
There is inspiration in your words, that you have accomplished. It was and enjoyable read, but a bit chaotic. Try to organize your thoughts a little clearer. You have the beginnings of a good writer and I encourage you to keep writing. Your language,and spelling are good. This may have worked better as a short story.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of Strange Voices  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Awww so sad, I want to bring you some chicken soup. Great! you invoked an emotion! I believe its the purpose of all writing and you nailed it! The proof of a true writer, writing even when sick. This was short and sweet. Good job!
10
10
Rated: E | (4.0)
Eternal hope... that's what it's all about, isn't it? This piece spoke to me. You captured the hopelessness of depression and the encouragement to beat it. I read that English is not your first language, which accounts for some of the wording I stumbled over. "building again when yesterday was failed apart." Might read better as, "Building again when yesterday fell apart." Simple changes, you got your point across, and I enjoyed it
11
11
Review of Invincible  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I read several of your writings but this one stood out. I am not much of a poetry reader, I prefer short stories. I was totally taken in by how you expressed such deep feelings, and still was able to have the mixture of speech and song. You have a good relationship with words, it's a gift to use them so effectively. I will be reading more of your offerings. Thank you


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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