You've explained what I talk about. Several of my poem's reflect this message. I find more and more people are being educated and aware of man's lies. I have written an item called "Test", you might find it interesting. Hopefully the religious fanatics won't start preaching to you. Good Luck!
You're right, if you think about it we are a kid at heart, but the body doesn't know it. As far as extra pounds go, It's not my fault, I know there's a skinny person in there, it's the kid in me that loves the goodies.
I'm glad you found the child within. Enjoyed your article.
Great analogy, love your physical descriptive comparison to the mind. I refer to myself as God's child, we are all children of A supreme power. Yes, I do find so much hypocrisy in so called Christians. What a shame to hide behind Christianity, use God's name in vain, it's inconceivable. Do they even realize their blasphemy. I'd like to hear a sermon on this subject, probably lose many of their congregation. Your writing is (in my opinion, most accurate), and excellent. I'm putting you on one of my favorites list. Keep it up.
You're poetic image is so well done. Lines flow beautifully. The poetic painting came alive, brought me there, I could see and feel the whole scene. I know there's so much more to tell. Looking forward to more of your poetry. Good Luck
I get what you're saying, only too repetitive. Could be a good poem, a little more work. We don't always get it right the first time. Get whatever out and never be discouraged. This site is where to get it done, practice makes perfect. Read your other items and rated. keep on writing you have something.
Another heartfelt poem. Expressions of your feelings at this time in life, well stated. Suggestion you can copy this and paste to a write program and use spellcheck, you can then copy and paste in back in this site.
Your feelings came through, enjoyed the portrayal of the illusion of love, which misguides so many. You might be interested in a poem I wrote titled "Goodbye". Good luck to you.
Shaka, everyone's experience sooner or later. Very cute. You need to explore your creative ability, you might have something. I would like to see more of your creative work. I don't know if you are really looking for relief, if so, try colon cleanser in the health food stores. lol. Write on
Poem flows well, well stated, only line sounds confusing is 23 Who no one can defend?
Maybe:
"undefeated in the end" I usually don't like putting my strokes on someone else's painting, but why would you need defending? Just a suggestion. All in all it's good.
Touching, inform me when you've finished. Sort felt, a soldier in a foxhole, a bomb blast, or thoughts of an accident victim if the later then it's done. Maybe in your description you should say, "Thoughts before blackout". It is good, keep up the good work
You denounce what men say, and that's right. "He" metaphorical for combined energy that is life, from which we are all part of, separated from one another by a physical body. People in general are visual and it's hard to comprehend what they can't picture, hence, religious interpretations and major wars. Could it have been atom and ion instead of Adam and Eve? something to ponder.
Good description of what to put on your list of "things I care not to do". Been there, experience is the best teacher. It gave you a poem, which is good, and courage to better yourself. The long road is the shortest. While under the microscope, find the brain power of the microbes. Good luck to you and your endeavors.
You'll find something I'm sure. Whenever you see something no matter what, from a pebble. mountain, person, outfit, personality, whatever, A good start, you seem to wonder about cliches, research them there might be a story to tell. if it makes you wonder then apply all the possibilities and run with your imagination. Find the beginning think of the end filling in the middle is all the work. Keep going you'll get there. Your work is original and good. Good Luck.
Perfect, you have described me. When the mind keeps going the body can't rest. Too tired to be inhibited, maybe it's the secret to writing, who cares, let it go. A true description.
Adorable, and meaningful, everything has a purpose and value. This would be a great children's book (Adults too).
Read several of your items. You are very good.
A sweet story. A suggestion, you can copy this article and paste it to word, and run spell check. Or you can copy from word and paste it to item block.
The old saying "when it rains, it pours", welcome to my world.
I also have a Neptume and repair insurance, had it repaired, it cost them $1,849. to fix. As your story is true to form, everything else seem to go after that. I felt me in your story, well said. You are not alone.
Hang in there and wait for the muse. Write what you feel don't worry about what others have to say, just get it out. Your poem is cute. Keep on writing.
You are right. I too am a mother of 5, my worries are for the generations to come. To much policing. You might like reading "Family Values", written about 1987 when I could feel this country going wrong.
So sweet, well expressed, your Dad sees it too. Sorry for you physical loss, spiritually he'll always be with you.
You go on dreaming, for dreamers make things happen.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/zglo/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.25 seconds at 9:09am on Apr 19, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
