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Review Requests: OFF
571 Public Reviews Given
586 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to give comprehensive reviews.
I'm good at...
I like reviewing poetry and short stories.
Favorite Item Types
I really love structured poems with good rhythm and rhyme.
Least Favorite Item Types
I don't enjoy reading long stories riddled with grammar or spelling mistakes because these distract me.
I will not review...
If I don't enjoy reading it on some level, then I won't review it. So if you got a review from me, even one with a low rating, I enjoyed the read.
Public Reviews
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176
176
Review of End of Love  
Review by Zhen
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
You wrote a poem about love and its costs.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.
A cover image could really suit your writing, for example, a rose.

I found banishment to hell rather harsh for the lack of freedom.

Well done writing a good poem.

Write on! *BigSmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
177
177
Review of Childhood  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (3.0)

General Comments

You wrote a poem with good feelings about childhood.

Grammar and spelling are good and mostly don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

You could add a cover image that is great and really suits your writing.

I found I was distracted by "wen"... I think you meant went.

Freeform poetry is fine but you start with two lines of 5 syllables each, setting a pattern, and when the pattern is broken it is noticeable.

Your description shows the poem is written because you care for people.

Write on! *BigSmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
178
178
Review of Seven Years Later  
Review by Zhen
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)

General Comments

You wrote a story about growing up and coming full circle.

Grammar and spelling are good and mostly don't distract me. Speech is in a separate line, and can be in the he said, she said format.

Genres are well-chosen.

I found the story moved too fast and wasn't developed enough.

Story Comments

Are the characters engaging?

No, take the time to develop the characters.

Is there enough conflict? Is the plot compelling?

There is no conflict apart from the brief struggle with disbelief.

Does the action rise to a climax?

Because the story isn't developed, the ending feels unbelievably convenient.

Does the dialogue sound natural and does it advance the plot?

It's okay but needs to be formatted as dialogue.

Is the setting clear in the reader's mind?

No, this could be developed, too.

Well done writing a story. You have a good idea worth developing.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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179
179
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (4.0)
You wrote a compelling poem.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found I would have liked the poem more if it had a rhyme scheme to go with the interesting format you chose.

Well done writing a good poem.

Write on! *BigSmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
180
180
Review of Mastication  
Review by Zhen
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
General Comments

You wrote a good story with a surprising twist.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.
The cover image is good and suits your writing.

I found I was genuinely surprised by the twist. It was well done.

Story Comments

Are the characters engaging?

Yes, the main character wakes in believable innocence.

Is there enough conflict? Is the plot compelling?

It's okay. The innocent mother could be given a few words of dialogue.

Does the action rise to a climax?

Certainly.

Does the dialogue sound natural and does it advance the plot?

There is an accent in the dialogue that is sometimes there, sometimes not. Consistency is best. I think the main character should speak and think the same way.

Is the setting clear in the reader's mind?

Yes, well done.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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181
181
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (2.5)
You wrote an essay or a great diary entry.

Spelling is good and doesn't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found your writing hard to read because of capitalization and run on sentences. Consider your opening sentence for example,
- "As I talk to my Mom these days as She is lives in Assisted Living Nursing Home over in Indiana where My sister Cindy Lives also who helps takes care of My Mother needs."

I also found your piece touching.

Well done writing about cares and hope so poignantly.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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182
182
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (4.0)

You wrote a story outline without a link to the story.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.

Genres are for the story but this is only an outline.

I found I wanted to read the story, so a link would be helpful.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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183
183
Review of Requiem  
Review by Zhen
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

General Comments

You wrote a poem about an unwed woman gone to her grave.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.
The cover image is good and the colours suit your writing. A tombstone would be perfect.

I found myself distracted by a comma:
- No one to redeem,
The thought continues in the next line.

Well done writing a high quality poem!

Write on! *BigSmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
184
184
Review of The Chatroom  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (3.0)

General Comments

You wrote a contrast of prose and poetry.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found the extent to which one character demands missing the point really tiresome.

Story Comments

Are the characters engaging?

Initially, yes, and the opening dialogue is great, too. "Poetry is condensed spirit" grabbed me, and after that the skeptic lost me.

Is there enough conflict? Is the plot compelling?

No, it's boring in the middle. The character missing the point seems too obtuse to believe.

Does the action rise to a climax?

No, it's too artificial to have a character leave for time with hubby, which is unrelated to the previous conversation.

Does the dialogue sound natural and does it advance the plot?

Yes, in the beginning. I think the piece could be shortened in the middle and given a sign off without reference to the husband.

Is the setting clear in the reader's mind?

Yes.

Well done writing an interesting exercise, a comparison/contrast between two written forms.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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185
185
Review by Zhen
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

General Comments

You wrote a beautiful poem.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found myself perplexed by the ending. Icons make Earth tremble? It doesn't make sense to me, but until that point, your poem is beautiful.

Well done writing good imagery in an interesting form.

Write on! *BigSmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
186
186
Review of The Apology  
Review by Zhen
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

General Comments

You wrote an interesting story that engaged me.

Grammar and spelling are good and mostly don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found I was confused by
- "Haddock house"... I guess it should be Haddock House if it's the name of the building.

Story Comments

Are the characters engaging?

Yes. Two things struck me as odd. One was the threat to slap the young one. The other was that dragon saliva is hard to clean.

Is there enough conflict? Is the plot compelling?

Yes, it's cute.

Does the action rise to a climax?

Yes.

Does the dialogue sound natural and does it advance the plot?

Yes.

Is the setting clear in the reader's mind?

Yes.

Well done writing a captivating story!

Write on! *BigSmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
187
187
Review of In Concert  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (4.0)

General Comments
You wrote a good story in poetic form.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found myself enjoying the approach of the predictable ending.

Story Comments

Are the characters engaging?

Yes, Itchy's name and internal conflict are enough.

Does the action rise to a climax?

Yes, at the very end.

Is the setting clear in the reader's mind?

Yes.

Well done writing a poem-story. I wish it rhymed.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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188
188
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (4.0)

You wrote a self-help piece with a compelling tone. Many authors have tried to imagine utopia but the governance question hasn't been answered yet.

Grammar and spelling are good and mostly don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found a couple of distracting mistakes,
- "At time it consciously becomes difficult " - at times,
- "put a little effort to become" - into becoming

Well done writing a strong, moving piece of prose.

Write on! *BigSmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
189
189
Review of Freedom  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (3.5)

General Comments

You wrote a story in a poem.

Grammar and spelling are good and mostly don't distract me.
Genres should be chosen.

I found this line hard to read:
- Intrigued she’s lured only to her feet with thorns.
The problem is birds aren't lured to pain.

Story Comments
Are the characters engaging?

Yes, reasonably so. I don't think a bird can't represent the human feeling of wanting to soar but feeling dragged down, but I think personification of the bird needs to be done carefully for it to seem real.

Is there enough conflict? Is the plot compelling?

Yes.

Does the action rise to a climax?

No, the poem leaves us with the conflict as food for thought.

Is the setting clear in the reader's mind?

Yes.

Well done writing a good free form poem.

Write on! *BigSmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
190
190
Review of The Door  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (5.0)

General Comments

You wrote a great poem about an open door in a field.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
A genres could be chosen.

I found myself genuinely enjoying your poem and eagerly reading to find where the door led. Was it a magic doorway or just a mysterious relic? I kept reading to find out.

Well done writing a good form. I don't know the name of this form but I like how the initial line is carried through the poem.

Write on! *BigSmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
191
191
Review of Hurricane Season  
Review by Zhen
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)

General Comments

You wrote a poem about a hurricane that reminds me of 3-day typhoons I used to live through.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.
The cover image is great and really suits your writing.

I found myself lost with the talk to invisible cows, and more lost at the wedding vows. Is the hurricane driving a spouse crazy? I'm not sure what the intended meaning is. Also, why are we suddenly in a cobweb? Are the people who talk to invisible cows spiders? I think the second verse is to show the reaction to harm done by the hurricane, but I'm not sure.

Although the second verse confused me quite a bit, I really like the first verse.
Well done writing a good verse about a hurricane.

Write on! *BigSmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
192
192
Review of The Dogs Did It  
Review by Zhen
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)

General Comments

You wrote a romantic story.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.
The cover image is great and really suits your writing.

I found I couldn't understand the sentence "She arrived at the local dog park and turned both his heads."

Story Comments

Are the characters engaging?

No, because conflict and turmoil are missing. In boy meets girl, there has to be a chase, but in your story she simply falls into him.

Is there enough conflict? Is the plot compelling?

No. Try adding some resistance. He has to win her.

Does the action rise to a climax?

No, although we're left with a little anticipation. The story reads as a short piece of a longer piece, and at the end it simply cuts off.

Does the dialogue sound natural and does it advance the plot?

It advances the plot but sounds stilted and too grammatically correct.

Is the setting clear in the reader's mind?

Reasonably, yes.

Well done writing a romantic story.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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193
193
Review of RVF Minutes  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (2.0)

General Comments
You wrote good minutes.

Grammar and spelling are good and mostly don't distract me.
Genres are mysterious. Action/Adventure is listed but it is a board meeting without a twist or a surprise.

I found a few distracting mistakes,
- cudo's is spelled kudos,
- clothes dryer sheets... to deter mice, presumably. It should say what the purpose is.
- left o er from - is spelled over,
- High will closed - will be closed.


Story Comments

I'm guessing it's fiction although that isn't clear.

Are the characters engaging?

Yes, you wrote believable minutes of how people communicate in a board meeting.

Is there enough conflict? Is the plot compelling?

No, I kept waiting for something stunning or funny to happen and it didn't.

Does the action rise to a climax?

No.

Does the dialogue sound natural and does it advance the plot?

Yes.

Is the setting clear in the reader's mind?

No, they could be in someone's living room, or in a barn.


Well done writing mysterious minutes. I don't know the purpose of this piece.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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194
194
Review of ROSA PARKS  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (4.0)

General Comments

You wrote a poetic story about Rosa Parks.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

Story Comments
Are the characters engaging?

Yes, the poem reads well.

Is there enough conflict? Is the plot compelling?

It's a true story with real conflict.

Does the action rise to a climax?

Yes.

Is the setting clear in the reader's mind?

Yes.

Write on! *BigSmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
195
195
Review by Zhen
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)

General Comments

You wrote a poem about Barbie's different facets.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.
The cover image is great and really suits your writing.

I found myself wondering what the threat of nuclear war has to do with Barbie.

Story Comments
Are the characters engaging?

Yes.

Is there enough conflict? Is the plot compelling?

There is plenty of conflict but it isn't compelling because some of the conflict doesn't at least tangentially relate to Barbie, or if it does then those connections need to be in the writing.

Does the action rise to a climax?

No, the ending reads like a threat to Barbie.

Is the setting clear in the reader's mind?

No. The factories could related because Barbie is manufactured and represents a first world society. But the shelters among other images seem like disconnected setting pieces.


Well done writing a clever story-poem that does show the hero's feet of clay.


Write on! *BigSmile*


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196
196
Review of Ode To Wintr  
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (3.5)

General Comments

You wrote an interesting poem-story.

Grammar and spelling are good and mostly don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found myself distracted by one possible typo,
- Her hand held Winter - maybe you mean Wintr, for consistency,

Story Comments
Are the characters engaging?

Reasonably. It's harder in a poem.

Is there enough conflict? Is the plot compelling?

Your story has inner struggle and a process of maturing.

Does the action rise to a climax?

Yes, she can't breathe until she accepts her sword is part of her.

Is the setting clear in the reader's mind?

The magical setting is a little unclear. Why can't she breathe? How does the moon show a sword?

Well done writing a story-poem!

Write on! *BigSmile*


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197
197
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (4.5)

You wrote an interesting poem that captures the stress on the team players.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

Well done writing an interesting take on the inner conflict the losing team feels, and the good face they must wear.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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198
198
Review by Zhen
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
You wrote a fun contradiction in a children's style.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found myself wondering whether the entry was disqualified based on what it claims at the end.

Well done writing a great poem.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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199
199
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (4.0)
You wrote a long exposition explaining the ghazal, its history and its modern ways. I feel more intimidated by the form than I felt before I read this.

Grammar and spelling are good and mostly don't distract me.
Genres are well-chosen.

I found one mistake distracted me.
- It is both fun and satisfaction.
*CheckGr* It is both fun and satisfying.

Well done writing a great exposition!

Write on! *BigSmile*


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200
200
Review by Zhen
Rated: E | (3.0)
You wrote a description of useful books you have recently found. Your piece reads as though it could be a diary entry.

Grammar and spelling are good and don't distract me, apart from
- and ect. (sic)
I was taught to avoid using etc, and so on, and other vague endings just like this one. The idea is to think about what you want to say and to say precicely it.

Genres are well-chosen.

I found myself wondering where NHA is, what your course assignment is, and to whom you are writing. If it's a diary, it's fine. It could be a letter home to parents about how school is going.

Write on! *BigSmile*


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