by Dan Moores
Here is me doing a personification of a cupcake. Yeah, really, I'm gonna do just that !
2. In a large bowl, the Cook creamed the butter, sugar and food coloring until light and fluffy. Added eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beated in vanilla. Combined the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt; added to creamed mixture alternately with buttermilk, beating well after each addition.
3. Then the Cook filled paper-lined muffin cups two-thirds full. Baked at 350° for 23-27 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center came out clean. Cooled for 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely.
4. Meanwhile, the Cook placed white chips in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, She brought cream just to a boil. Poured over chips; whisk until smooth. Stirred in butter. Transferred to a large bowl. Chilled for 30 minutes, stirring once.
5. Lastly, She beat on high speed for 2-3 minutes or until soft peaks form and frosting is light and fluffy. Cut a small hole in the corner of a pastry or plastic bag; insert #30 star tip. Filled bag with frosting; frost cupcakes. Sprinkled with coarse sugar and edible glitter. Stored in the refrigerator.
After a while, that seemed like hours to me, I was finally taken out of that frost giant's mouth. It was only at that particular moment that I realized that I wasn't the only one in there !
I didn't had the chance to count us all, but we were are aligned like an army ! And to my humble surprise, my Master took me to a place where there was even more of us. We were so numerous, I felt like we would conquer the World with our lovely colors and smell !!
The Cook placed us gently in a big mirrored stand, separating me from my siblings. I had the chance to meet other cupcakes; so many colors, shape and surely taste.
Suddenly, someone came into the store and stared at us. The Devil even dared talk to the Cook ! To my humble surprise, the Cook responded politely to the newcomer. My Master is so cool, I hope I can stay with her forever. After a brief moment, fear was spreading among us. What if, for some obscure reasons, the Devil would leave with some of us ?
And that's what happened !!!!!!!!! The Devil pointed at some of us (I was spared, thank the Cook) and our beloved Mother took my friends up and put them in a brownish box. I saw my friends leave the store. What would happen to them ?
More people came in, and a lot of us went away. Oh my dear Cook, what have we done to anger you so ? Is there a way to repent ourselves ? Can we appease your Cookly Wrath ?
Alas, whatever we tried to do never seemed to work. At the end of the day, we were left there with our thoughts and fears. The next morning, more cupcakes filled the space left empty by our gone ones. Day after day, cupcakes left and came among us.
Hope had abandoned me; I retreated in my little mind and kept all thoughts to myself. After all, was it better to see my friends go to their doom or stay here to rot and look funny ? Truth be told, the ones that were in the stand before me who hasn't gone with the Devil spread murmurs of garbage bin and dog stomachs. I mean, really ? Was I created to be given to a damn dog ? What the cupcake is a dog, ANYWAY ????
Day after day, Devils (surely from New Jersey, go figure that one out) came in and took my friends away. Day after day, I was left there and stayed close to newer cupcakes.
And then, one day, salvation came in and made me happy. I was taken away a put into one of those brownish boxes. Yes, ME ! I will finally be free of this place and be brought to new shores ! I will be sailing away from a Cook who had forgotten me. Finally, someone wanted me. Ooh the feeling it brings to my cupcake heart !
Dear friend, the faster the rise, the faster the fall shall be. For my box was not intended for a Devil, it was meant to be thrown into a full garbage bin ! We were thrown in it, the Cook barely looking at us. She didn't gave us any reason as to why we were treated like this; She turned away and left us to our doom.
After a couple of hours, the bin started to shake a bit at first, and then more fiercely. I thought that a Kid Devil would take us from our misery, but when the garbage fell to the ground, our box opened and Big Doomie Doom was staring at us. A large grin was spreading across it's lips; an evil sign of victory for sure ! I knew that my cupcake life would end soon, as the Big Meanie came in to get me. Because surely it was looking at me, all pinky and cute as I am. It was a dog, a damn big dog.