If this was a job vacancy this is my application
|To whom it may concern,
With reference to your vacancy that was advertised in the Ghoul Times on the Thirteenth of the Third. For a Dead soul to undertake a position of Authority, such as this I feel I am already over qualified.
Your advertisement stated that the candidate had to have faith and unrequited love on their side. Below you will find my qualifications:
A life time spent bowing and scraping and living in threadbare lodgings, I do have a doubtless melancholy that appeared to come natural to me, but has been sharpened over the years. I’ve had time to adapt to life’s little idiosyncrasies, like bad plumbing and receding hair. It pains me to mention that I have a sense of impermanence without which no prospective ghost can make his way in the world.
Having during my living years lived, in many sundry dwellings, with the alluvial deposits of past entities, witnessed the pencilled numbers on the walls, the jaundiced lips of many a mate cause a momentary clouding of my thoughts, even in death I cannot escape.
Practical experience has had me eating from fly blown and spotted cafes, eating with other mindless drones had become habit. Staring vacantly, whilst we consumed, until at least the bill arrived and no in-substantial thing was that, nickel-and-chrome places, ha! What a benevolence that was not forgetting the cinema foyers, where we all sat watching and wishing we could play a bit part; living out my life depth-less, while lovers mocked and deprived.
In closing I would like to assure you that should this application become successful, I will satisfactory fill the position; in whichever position you should post me, bearing in mind that you by nature are Death and can be the only one to make me a journey man.
For this I would like to become your apprentice.