It's like this, I am old.

I am, you know, if the meanie who set up the oldies contest says over 50!

         It was an accident.

         I didn't mean to do it.

         All at once, I realized I was fooling no one by my childish behavior.

         Hah!

         Someone please explain to me why I cannot get into my junior jeans anymore? I made it all the way to somewhere around 52 and then suddenly I went to my closet, took my pants off the rack and put them on... well, I have to be honest, I tried to put them on and OMG!

No.

         I can't believe it. My sister who is 3 years older than me had been complaining for somewhere around 29 months that it was not fair. She had inherited Mother's pouch. She said it with such a disgusted sound to the letter 'p' that I began checking every day for the dreaded pouch. It was never there. I never saw it. Until.

**
That fateful morn,
My pants were stalled
upon a wayward crack.
I pulled at them,
I pulled in vain,
'cause they went falling back!

Teen tummy Ooooo
can you hear me?
Teen tummy Ooooo
can you see me?
Are you somewhere I can't see
And will you e'er come back to me?


Written for

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** In case you can't tell, this is a parody of 'Teen Angel', an oldies song.
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