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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/1154893
Rated: E · Poetry · Other · #1154893
Inspired by a poem written by Rachel Contreni Flynn

Red Shoes



Siren red, open toes, slender straps that slip around my ankles,

Sleek but so much more than I should spend. I looked at others,

Less glamorous, more subtle, shorter, smarter, easier to slide on.

I left the shoes behind. Instead, I bought more books and coffee.


That night, I dreamt of receding tides, of fleeting clouds, of red shoes

Languishing among the pebbles at water's edge, of fish in pursuit.

Of the tide rushing, whirling, pulling the shoes out of sight

Where even the seagulls, diving with great precision, can't find me.




Inspired by RC Flynn, poet.
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A Kind Review:

The red shoes seem to symbolize a need for something out of reach. By portraying the shoes later in a dream, you emphasize the personal aspect that the shoes represent. The ending implies that you would lose a part of yourself if you were to give in and buy the shoes.

That said, you've done a great job with the theme and mood of the poem. The aura is both whimsical and thoughtful and is consistent throughout.

Also, the flow of the poem is wonderful. I like how you have maintained a steady rhythm without a specific structure.

Great work.

sunshineandc









© Copyright 2006 Gabriella (gabriellar45 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/1154893