Why Do I Feel?

I don't want to be cold and unfeeling but I need an anaesthetic to dull the pain.

Why does this anger bubble from deep inside,
Do I really feel this wretched and deceived?
Is it just a case of bruising my foolish pride,
Is it despair, lost an image in which I believed?

Why do I toss, turn and very restless feel,
Day and night can't concentrate and can't find peace?
Insidious undercurrents try my spirit to steal
Pain like a treacherous knife twists, does not cease.

Why do I cry? Tears now become my friend,
Washing out the bile as it attempts to rise.
I wish they could heal my mind then I could send
True and honest messages to shame and conquer lies.

Why do I find that I now stand alone in grief?
Howl in the wind in a world thats lost its soul,.
From the bullies there appears to be no relief.
Distanced from the crowd, isolated, I've no goal.

Why do I fear that everything is lost?
The essence of good sinks becomes surreal,
The face of hope fades as by evil it's embossed.
Tell me, why do I care, rage and cry, why do I feel?