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Rated: E · Script/Play · Comedy · #1215846
This is a spec script for a television sitcom starring


Julie is sprawled on the couch,watching television with little interest. LYDIA enters the room and stands behind Julie, hands on hips, observing without Julie being aware.
A male newscaster's voice can be heard reading a teaser

NEWSCASTER (announcing): Is your cat plotting against you? The answer may surprise you. No. News at 11.

LYDIA (sarcastically): Watching PBS again, I see.

Julie stirs in shock, and sits up.

JULIE: Can't you like, wear a bell or something, so like I know when your grazing by.

LYDIA looks dissapproved.

JULIE: So what do you want anyway. I'm watching a religious program.

LYDIA: Oh really.

JULIE: Yeah, it's called MONK.

LYDIA adopts a serious tone.

LYDIA: Julie, look. Your moms and I have been discussing some things recently and we think it's time you decide on what you're going to do with your future.

JULIE stands up, readying for a confrontation.

JULIE: How many times do we have to go through this? I've told you I know exactly what I want to do.

LYDIA: I don't think cowboy is a realistic goal for a teenage girl.

JULIE: You don't think, you don't think. Well maybe that's the problem. YOU JUST DON'T THINK, LYDIA.

LYDIA: (angrily) That's Mom number 3 to you.

JULIE: That's it. I'm leaving. If you don't believe in me enough to realize that I can become a rootin tootin cowboy, then I can't live here.

LYDIA: And where do you think you're going.

JULIE grabs her purse and walks towards the door in defiance.

JULIE: To find a normal family. One with at least half the number of moms in this one.

LYDIA: Oh yeah. Do you want me to tell Barbara, Mary, Hildegarde, Gladys 1, Gladys 2, and LaWanda that?

JULIE opens the door and slams it shut behind her.

LYDIA is overwhelmed with differing emotions. Although she is angry at JULIE for being close-minded, she is also upset at herself, for she feels that JULIE may have been partly right.

LYDIA moves over to the couch and lays down. The TV is still on.

NEWSCASTER: Is your silverware making you short. The answer may surprise you. News at 11.

LYDIA grabs the remote and turns the television off. She begins to mutter to herself as she dozes off to sleep.

LYDIA (groggy): A cowboy. Well i could think of worse things she could do. But why a cowboy? Sure the pay is alright, but the commute is probably murder.

The scene dissolves slowly into LYDIA's dream.


The tinkling barroom piano plays while seated at a round table are all seven MOTHERS. They are all dressed in typical old west costumes that would be appropriate for men to wear. They are playing a card game around a large round table in the center of the saloon. A bar is to the right. Various "cowboys" and "old west" types are scattered around the room.

GLADYS 2: I draw and raise you an ace.

HILDEGARDE: I fold and draw you a 14.

GLADYS 1: I raise you a 2 and take back my ace


THE BARTENDER looks on puzzled.

BARTENDER: I gotta ask. Exactly what game are you gals playing?

LYDIA: Who knows. We're women. What do we know about playing cards?

(reaction shot of bartender)

GLADYS 1 (to all MOTHERS) Ooh, I was at the office today and guess who comes in. The Pony Express man.

All the mothers react with "oohs" and "hmm" except GLADYS 2 who seems to be unaware of the reaction.

LaWanda: Yum, Yum. I love that tight little uniform.

GLADYS 2(unsuspectingly): Did he have a big package for you?

All the mothers laugh.

GLADYS 2: I don't get it.

LAWANDA: Yeah, girl, and that's your problem.

Just then, a grizzled small man with dirty gray beard and wild eyes comes rushing into the saloon.

CHARLIE: Everybody leave here. Everybody get out of here. Black Julie is on her way!!

A chaotic scene occurs. People are running in all directions in the foreground. All the MOTHERS remain seated.

LaWanda (sassily): Why everybody so afraid of this sista? She look like Whoopi Goldberg or sumpin?

LYDIA (knowingly): No LaWanda. Black Julie isn't called Black because she's a sista. It's because she's black hearted.

Suspenseful moment ensues. All the MOTHERS turn their heads toward the swinging saloon doors. A large figure looms in the dark outside, approaching the door.

End of Act One

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