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Rated: 18+ · Preface · Comedy · #1289677
A little background about Thurston and Maude, and how their relationship evolved.
Maudie has been alone in her huge Maine farm for far too long so one of her friends at work goaded her into checking out the profiles on an internet dating site. The two ladies spent several hours pouring through profile after boring profile. It seemed that once you'd read one, you'd read them all. Every man on the site professed to be good looking, kind, compassionate, yadda yadda yadda. And they all loved to cook, snuggle on the couch and take romantic walks on the beach.

Yeah, right!

Then Maudie came across a profile that nearly knocked her off her keyboard. It certainly wasn't anything you'd expect to see in a dating profile. The man professed to be a filthy rich Boston socialite who lived in a mansion staffed with numerous servants. He was, of course, terribly cultured and was seeking the same in a mate. The mate must, of course, be of properly high social stature, elegantly svelte and incredibly beautiful. Nothing else would be acceptable. But halfway through the profile, the story changed. Suddenly this cultured snob had turned into a grungy motorcyle gangster, sporting leather jacket and spandex chaps. His ideal mate would be a motorcycle 'mama' who could chug beer, mud-wrestle, and out-cuss a pirate's parrot.

She'd had no intention of ever actually contacting anyone from this site, but this profile was just too...UNIQUE...to ignore. So Maude popped off an email, telling the gentleman that he was either the most obnoxious gentleman she'd ever heard of, or the most compulsive liar ever recorded in history. Either way, she explained, his profile was just too unique to go unacknowledged. She affirmed that she had no desire to enter into any sort of relationship with this gentleman, but simply wanted to tell him that she loved the uniqueness of his profile, and admired his sense of humor. She simply wanted to give the gentleman credit for his incredibly successful creative writing effort.

As far as Maude was concerned, that was the end of the story.

In less than an hour, Maude received a reply in her In-Box.

Thurston thanked her for the kind words of praise. The email continued on to explain that one of his friends had pretty much pushed him into submitting a profile by giving him a six month subscription to the dating site. So in protest he had submitted what he figured would be a profile that would scare the living daylights out of even the most desperate female.

He had been so terribly wrong!

He told Maude that he had amazingly received dozens of replies to that ad. The vast majority had obviously not read beyond the 'filthy rich' paragraph, since they were quite anxious to meet him, or knew they'd found their 'soul-mate', yadda yadda yadda.... And one lady had been told by the aliens that she was destined to meet and marry him....

Thurston concluded by saying that Maude's reply had been the only intelligent replied he had received in the six weeks the ad had run. He thanked her again for her kind words and wished her well in her search.

And that should have been the END of the story.....

But later the next day Thurston received another reply to his ad. It was a totally ludicrous email from some scramble-brained female who just couldn't figure out how a rich socialite could dare drive around the country with a bunch of motorcyle hoodlums.

Thurston knew only ONE other person who would appreciate the total absurdity of this reply. So he forwarded the email to Maude with the question..."Do you think maybe SHE is the one I've been waiting for all my life?"

And so the story begins....


I have just begun working on this 'chronicle' and have unfortunately started well into the middle of the relationship. Please be patient as I work backwards and fill in the past. I shall attempt to enter each update in some sort of chronological order in an effort to make the entire story more coherent.

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