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Rated: 18+ · Serial · Biographical · #1344031
This is a semi-nonfiction piece that is based on my real life romance with my soulmate.
The Romance of Rachel and Far-The Final Chapters

Rachel swayed slowly to-and-fro on the oversized swing in her backyard; the cool Fall breeze swept through her long raven hair. It had been over a month since she had spoken to Far and yet her love for him never wavered. Somehow she knew he felt the same.

"Rachel!" her mother's voice called from inside their suburban home, "Where is Rachel?"

"I'm outside Mom!" Rachel yelled back, annoyed that her serenity was being interrupted. So seldom did she get quiet moments like this alone, and once again she was being disturbed.

Rachel's mother came outside, cheerful from her day out shopping; shopping always seemed to cheer up her mother.

"How are you feeling, honey?" her mother asked somewhat concerned.

"I'm fine Mom. Just relaxing… thinking." Rachel replied. Noticing the increasing concern that the remark 'thinking' created in her mothers face, Rachel quickly changed the subject, "So, what did you get?"

Quickly her mother's face changed from concerned to cheerful as she listed the items she purchased on her day's outing, "Oh, I got some new jeans, shirts…" Rachel drowned out the rest of her mother's ramblings. She was preoccupied with Far; wondering what he was up to, if he was happy, if he would ever say I love you again.

She remembered the last time they spoke. He was so hostile.


"So, if you didn't cheat on me, then why did you talk to other guys?" Far asked angrily.

"I thought you didn't want to talk about this!?" Rachel replied frustrated. They had been going over the same thing for over an hour and he still didn't get it. She didn't cheat on him, didn't even think about it. Her sister lied. She said that she cheated on him because she didn't want them together. Goddammit! This whole thing sucked, and Far wouldn't listen.

"You're right. But I want the truth, so just tell me, were you ever, at any time, any of their girlfriends?" He replied still angry but markedly calmer.

"No. I was only your girlfriend. I only wanted to be your girlfriend." She responded coolly.

"Fine. Whatever. Listen I have to go."

"Okay. I guess I will talk to you later."

"Yeah, okay. Bye."

She wanted to say 'I love you', but was too scared, so all she said was,



"Rachel?" Her mother asked frustrated.

"Yeah, yeah, mom. What?" She responded flustered.

"I've been saying your name for the past minute. Were you even listening to a word I was saying?"

"Yeah, you got jeans that make your butt look nice, and three new shirts."

"Okay, just checking. Anyways, I have to go back out. Are you gonna be okay if I leave you home alone?" She asked concerned.

"Oh yeah. I'm fine, I'm just gonna go meditate or something. I'm doing good today." Rachel lied.

"Okay hun. I love you. I'll be home at around 6, okay?"

"Okay Mom. Love you too." Rachel stood up, hugged her mother, and walked inside with her.


Later on that night, as Rachel lay in bed invariably thinking about Far her phone rang, it was her best friend Jared.

"Hey Girly!" he said cheerfully

"Hi Jar." Rachel replied somberly.

"Aww baby, what's the matter?"

"What's always the matter?"





"Aww, c'mon girly, get over him already."

"I can't, he's my soulmate."

"Soulmate, Schmoulmate."

"You suck Jared."

"No, Far sucks. How long has it been?"

"How long has what been?"

"Since he has spoken to you."

"Too long to remember. I think a month or so. I can't remember. Who cares?"

"That's right. Who cares? Who cares about Far? Who cares about jerkboy? You are beautiful and can do better."

"I can do better then my soulmate?"

"That's your first mistake. Believing he is your soulmate. He is not your soulmate. Your soulmate wouldn't treat you like this."

"He would if he thought certain things, was dealing with certain things, and had certain things happening to him."

"Whatever Rachel. You are just making excusing for an abusive bastard. You need to let go."

"I need to hold on."

"You need to let go."

"Let go of my soulmate?"

"Why must we always have this conversation?"

"Yes. Why must we?"

"You are so misguided. Would you do this to him? Treat him this way?"


"And why?"

"Cause I love him."

"See, if he loved you, he wouldn't do this to you. And if he was your soulmate he would love you. And therefore he isn't your soulmate."

"He is just having a hard time."

"Oh my God! You need counseling. You are a textbook abused woman. Sticking up for your man, no matter what he does, no matter how bad he treats you." Jared laughed sarcastically.

"Can we not talk about this?"

"No, we need to talk about this."

"I think we just did. Good bye." Rachel said angrily, promptly hung up the phone, turning it off.

Rachel lay in her bed staring at the ceiling, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Keep it together girl. Don't let him get to you. No one can make you feel anyway that you don't want to feel. You are in charge of your emotions.


The next morning Rachel's head felt like it was going to explode and her heart was racing. She reached over and took her preventative heart and headache meds, two aspirin, and a nitrate tab.

Last night was far too emotional for her. She didn't know how she was going to get through this coming day. Slowly she got out of bed. The room began to slant to the side, her head felt like it was containing an Atom Bomb explosion, and she fell over.

She hated these dizzy spells. If only she could get her heart to calm down. Once her heart calms down, usually she can stand without falling over.

The first time she lost consciousness was the most frightening experience in her life.


Rachel sat in the bathtub, lathering up with her favorite fruity soap singing Coldplay's "The Scientist".

"Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are." Rachel sang melodically as she poured water over her newly slender shoulders. "I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I've set you apart."

Slowly she began to rise out of the warm water, her head felt a little funny but she thought nothing of it, then everything went black. When she regained her vision she had slid back down in the tub and her ass hurt like a motherfucker.

What just happened? Did I go blind? I'm so confused. Mom? Mom!

"MOM!" Rachel called.

Her mother called back worriedly "Yes honey, what's the matter?"

"Well be careful getting out of the tub honey." Her mother replied, relief filling her voice, happy that Rachel wasn't hurt.

Rachel slowly got out of the tub. She didn't know what happened, but she felt sick, and her head and chest felt like it was going to explode.

What if I am dying? I hope everyone knows I love them.

Slowly she dried off, brushed her hair, and got dressed. She waited to tell her mother about what really happened. She didn't want to worry anyone about it.


Rachel decided that in order to keep from losing consciousness again, like the first time in the bathtub, that she better sit down.

Please God, make this headache go away. Make my heart rate go down. Don't tear my heart. Don't tear my heart. Please God, don't kill me. Please, please, please. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil, for thine is the glory, and the power, and the kingdom forever. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost, Amen. With harm to none.

Rachel repeated this prayer over and over, as she rocked back and forth, cradling her head, waiting for the pain, confusion, discomfort, and worry to pass.

Slowly the headache dissolved and her heart rate slowed down, and Rachel stood up. Dizziness surrounded her for a few moments, but she was able to slowly walk to the bathroom and start her day.

As she looked up in the mirror, she saw the face that she saw every morning; a mixture of tragedy, and incredible beauty.

"Ugh. I hate you." She whispered at her reflection.

"I love you."


"Hi sweetie." Rachel's mother said as she wrapped her arms around Rachel's shoulders. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. Got a headache earlier, but it wasn't too bad." Rachel fibbed. Again she didn't want to worry her mother, plus she didn't want to go to the doctor. Last thing she needed was more pills to take and more tests to run.

"Aww, sweetie." Her mother kissed her cheek. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really" Rachel replied. "The meds, mom."

Rachel hadn't really been hungry lately. She blamed her meds, because that's what the doctors blamed, but Rachel knew the real reason why she wasn't hungry. The heartache sucked her body dry.

"Oh, that's right honey. I'm sorry. My poor baby. Well if you get hungry let me know."

"Okay, mom. I will, I promise."

Rachel knew she wasn't gonna tell her mom she was hungry, and her mom knew that too. Rachel was never hungry. Her whole family knew that. But she didn't care anymore. The only thing she cared about was Far. Too bad he didn't care about her… or did he?

(To Be Continued… Writers Block)

© Copyright 2007 Seni Seviyorum FAR (sbm13 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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