Letters

Things I've wanted to say

Letters

O.J. Simpson

O.J., why did you play aaaalll that football? And star in those Naked Gun movies?....when all you REALLY wanted to do was kill your wife?

Jesus

I noticed you haven’t returned any of my phone calls or respond to any of my emails. Did I do something wrong? I thought about it last night and if it’s because I punted that puppy last summer, I had good reasons….he was barking and smacking him in the face just didn’t work as well as I had hoped. Can we talk about it?

Candice Bergen

What is up boyfriend? Don’t worry. I won’t tell. It stays with me and Kathleen Turner only. *wink

Rusell Oliver

I’m afraid you’re a robot, living off of gold to survive. Once I tell everyone, you’re going to be sorry. OH YEAH!