by Smiling Jack
Entry for 99 word short story contest
The Smoking Lamp Is Out
By Jack Rawlins
The organization for smoker’s rights lost another battle this week when Blackbeard declared the Queen Anne’s Revenge a non-smoking vessel.
After running aground in Beaufort Inlet, NC, the Captain said, "Even in a forty- knot wind, second-hand smoke was affecting the health of my buccaneers. The hacking, coughing and spitting were upsetting. It’s hard to concentrate on pirating when surrounded by a crew that’s dying before you even get into battle.
“What’s more, how can you burn and plunder when you can’t light up?
“I plan to hang up my swords, knives, and pistols and become a peanut farmer.”