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by Jasper
Rated: 13+ · Script/Play · Comedy · #1405631
Lives of soldiers in a war between two factions (This is a script for a machinima series)
EPISODE TWO
HUMAN PEOPLE

As Stevenson and Eddy continue to argue, the body under the vehicle complains more and more as Cracker tries to get him out and Blake scouts the area.

CRACKER

“Blake, get your weapon and scout the area for enemy soldiers. We’re in hostile territory.”

BLAKE
“Ha, that’s gnarly.”

Blake picks up his rifle and walks off to have a look around.

CRACKER
“How’re you going under there?”

BODY
“That’s an even stupider question than the one the other guy asked! How do you think I’m going under the six hundred kilo army jeep? Huh? How do you think?”

CRACKER
“Ok, ok. No need to get sarcastic.”

While Cracker continues examining a way to get the body out from under the jeep, Eddy and Stevenson continue their argument.

STEVENSON
“I’ve never said something stupid like that!”

EDDY
“Oh yeah? Remember the time you said: “Man, isn’t it amazing how much that apple looks like a pear?” Yeah, that doesn’t sound stupid at all!”

STEVENSON
“It was a pear!”

EDDY
“But you said it was an apple!”

CRACKER
“Shut up, ladies! We’ve gotta get this jeep off this poor son-of-a-bitch before his ribs get lodged into his lungs!”

Eddy and Stevenson come over to Cracker who looks at the body.
Meanwhile, Blake is walking along an empty road when he spots a second jeep driving along on the road below the one they are on. Peering through his binoculars, he sees it is an enemy jeep. He listens in on their conversation.
Two soldiers hop out of the jeep. One, Charleston, has a look around, while the other, Twimby, examines the ground for signs of enemy soldiers.

CHARLESTON
“What do you think, Twimby? Any sign of…people?”

TWIMBY
“What do you mean by people?”

CHARLESTON
“What do you mean what do I mean by people? People! The human kind!”

TWIMBY
“Are you saying there is more than one kind?”

CHARLESTON
“No, I’m saying, is there any sign of Human People?”

TWIMBY
“But if there is only one kind, why say Human People?”

CHARLESTON
“Because you said what do I mean by people!”

TWIMBY
“Oh, I see. Well, no there is no sign of people. But there is a sign of two beavers, a mongoose, possibly an Arabian Bush Monkey and a Dung Beetle having passed by this spot.”

CHARLESTON
“Why would I care if two beavers, a mongoose, a possible Arabian Bush Monkey and a dung beetle have been by this spot?”

TWIMBY
“Well I though you’d want to know.”

CHARLESTON
“I don’t! All I wanted to know is if there was any sign of people! We’ve established that there isn’t, so lets finish our patrol.”

TWIMBY
“I didn’t say there was no sign of any people.”

CHARLESTON
“Yes you did! Just a moment ago you said: “Well no, there is no sign of any people.”

TWIMBY
“That’s because people is plural, more than one. There are signs of a person being here however.”

CHARLESTON
“Really? Who?”

TWIMBY
“How the hell am I supposed to know?”

CHARLESTON
“That’s it! Get in the jeep, we’re going up the mountain to finish our patrol!”

Blake continues watching and then runs back towards the jeep.
© Copyright 2008 Jasper (daggett at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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