Not Like I Thought

Nothing is ever as we think it's going to be. Perhaps dying is the true awakening.

Not Like I Thought

When I woke up, a little boy,
having slept through the night,
the dark was not like I thought.

When I fell in love, in my teens,
scared and focused and dreaming,
love was not like I thought.

Graduating and marching out
into the real world—
the world was not like I thought.

Falling in love, for real
this time, and this and this—
still not like I thought.

Meeting you and having her,
and turning into my father—
not like I thought.

Growing old and fat, groaning
out of the couch, grandkids—
not like I thought.

Slipping into the river again
and again, and finally finding the sea—
not like I thought.

Dying—
not like I—