This may help with you giving me suggestions. PLEASE READ! THANK YOU!
Jonathan waits for night to fall every day is a dreadful curse. The multiple hours of daylight exist as an unbearable punishment forced on him by the world. By moon light, is the only time he is given to spend with his girlfriend. Livi is an apparition, dead to the world of the living. She died a few months ago in some sort of accident. Jonathan, needless to say is desperate to spend every second with her. He tries to force away sleep in an attempt to be with her. He refuses to acknowledge that they can’t be together. He hasn’t accepted Livi’s death, as she believes he should. She believes every visit is beginning to make it worse/ more and more difficult for Jonathan to let her go. But, seeing his desperation and need for her, she comes back to him night after night.
Allow for some suspicion, while making Livi seem REAL.
Display Jonathan’s desperation in the atmosphere.
Leave the reader knowing Livi isn’t quite human at the end. She’s a ghost.
Form a powerful/strong ending and ‘hooking’ beginning.
Figure out how Livi died? Leave reader wondering?