Fear

Written after the thought came to me that I was becoming like my mother.

I fear the god who judges
                          The motives of my heart.
I fear the assumptions of others
                                    Who always see the outside but never look beneath the surface.
I fear the disappointment of my children
                                              Who believe the lie I’ve always told.

I fear the loneliness I crave.
I fear the freedom I long for.
I fear the truth
              That I have become the coward
                                                I always accused my mother of being.