Is This All There Is?

Hybrid Poetry/Prose expression of the confusion of reality and frustration of perception.

Is this all there is?  Is this reality?  What if I refuse this reality and create my own?  Would you drag me, kicking and screaming, back into the communal realism?

My soul feels shipwrecked in this place. 

I know once my soul had wings and saw my fairie folk.  I imagine myself as a moving painting, bold pastels moving in an idealistic flatness.  I am here to give compassion and hope and love.  Always, I am here to give love.  A smile, saying I see you, I know you.

I desperately want out of here!
My head is on fire and is screaming out my life,

Leave, leave, leave, leave
Like the beat of some random drum by an indifferent drummer
Inconsistent and unconstant
And yet, in some strange way compelling
Pulling me along some undefined path.