My life in foster homes...
|I went to a foster home soon after my brothers and sister left and went to foster homes. My first foster home was at the Browns home over in Chattanooga Valley, the Tiftonia area of Chattanooga Tennessee. It was really nice there. The parents were good to me and didn't hit me and call me names like my mom had done. The foster mother fixed the best food I'd ever tasted. Of course just her cooking food all the time was new to me for a mom to do. She was sweet and talked to me in a soft voice and hugged me a lot, also things new to me.
My own mom had a loud mans voice she used very often to let anyone know how she felt. Usually it had been my dad who'd been the one she would cuss out all the time. But anybody could walk blindly into her high pitched voice that would cuss you angrily and unmercifully.
At the Browns foster home I had a little girl my age to play with, in the playroom, or outside at the swings. She was a lot of fun but very winney. My mom had always hit me for winning so I wasn't used to seeing parents put up aggrevatingly with a winning child. I also found out that when I would try to go inside in the daytime after lunch, my foster mom would have the screen door locked and wouldn't let me in. She told me I had to stay outside and play. I was so tired of staying outside all the time, but at least this place was better than my real home so I just dealt with it.
The foster brother who was their real child told lies on me and always got me in trouble where I'd have to go to my room where I spent a lot of time. That room was much better than the room I had at home, though, even if it wasn't as nice as the foster sisters childish decorated room. I love having sheets to lay between and a nice smelling cover over the top sheet to cover up with. It was so nice. I liked the living room tv I got to watch cartoons on as well.
One day I was laying on my belly on the floor watching tv on a Saturday morning while everyone else still seemed to be asleep. Except for the foster mom who was in the kitchen, as always, fixing breakfast. My foster brother came and told me to come and play with him in the play room. I went even though I liked the cartoon that was on. I wanted to play with him, which he'd never let me before, and I wanted him to be nice to me which he never had been before. So I was excited cause he wanted to play with me and went along quickly. Being quiet as he put his finger to his lips for me to be quiet as I was laughing and ready to please him cause I wanted him to like me.
However, when he locked the door to the playroom I got a scared feeling in my belly. He pushed me down on the coutch pushed up my nightgown and took off my panties. When he was done putting his fingers in a place where I'd only ever used the bathroom at, he told me not to tell on him or he'd do worser to me. I was scared for a long time and didn't tell. I got scared that he would do it again though and told my foster mother in the middle of her loving hugging one day. She didn't believe me when she sked her son and he said that he hadn't done anything. I was sent back to the childrens home.
I am the kinda kid who is always is pretty good and doesn't cause trouble for parents or adults. I was always very shy and didn't talk more than answering questions people asked me. Sometimes I didn't even answer if I didn't know what to say or just didn't wanna talk. I was very stubborn when I didn't wanna talk and nobody could get me to talk. With the exception of a person who was very humorous and who tried to do things to make me laugh and loosen up. So I only got one, almost, spanking the entire time here at the Browns foster home. It was went we were driving in the family car and I was mad at one of the kids and saying things in anger, but didn't remember cussing, which I thought would be the only reason for a spanking in this foster home. I cried and begged my foster mom not to spank me with the belt and she started crying too and ended up not spanking me, but made me stay in my room and never did tell me what I'd said that had been wrong.
My dad was the only visitor I had the whole time there and he only came once on my birthday to bring me a bike, that I had to learn myself how to ride. When my dad had come to visit he bought his oldest son, who was my moms age, my step brother James, who had just gotten out of prison and gave me a coin necklace that I never took off the whole time I was there. Only when I went back home to mom did she jerk it off of my neck and I never saw it again.
Mom live with daddy Dale still when I went home to live with her. They had a baby girl, named Margaret, whom I held a lot and would act like was my own baby. I was also left alone at home to watch her and would sit on the steps outside the door and rock the crying baby to sleep. Mom and daddy Dale were not the best of parents. I have some good memories though of that time with mom and daddy Dale. My sister Linda also got to come home. Mom was pregnant again. And daddy Dales brother Uncle Tommy stayed with us a lot and we had to sleep in the floor so he could have the full bed me and Linda shared.
We didn't get to stay long at home before we had to go back to the childrens home because I told on mom and daddy Dale for beating on us and baby Margaret was taken and also a new baby mom had had while we were home, baby Dale. Mom had tried to beat me up when we all went to see her on a visit after that. The workers had to pull her off and away from me so she couldn't hurt me. She was yelling and screeming like a mad woman, saying that I had gotten her babies tacken away from her. I wondered if she even cared about me being gone as well. Her actions told me that she didn't.
The Wests foster home was the home I went to after yet another stay in the childrens home, where my baby brother and sister as well as Linda all went to foster homes before me. Of course it let me off of the hook from being followed around by babies who called me Yiyi and wanted me to hold them all the time. But I always missed them so much after they left. At the West's home my baby sister Margaret was there.
It was nice there also. We went on trips a lot in the family van. To vacation spots and water sliding all the time. It was a fun place to be. They spanked the kids with a belt when we were bad. And there I was bad more than I'd been in my other foster home. I was popular with my other foster brother and foster sisters, who were impressed by the way I just stood there when I was getting spanked by the belt. They always wanted to know if it hurt me. When I told them yes they wanted to know how I kept from crying. I told them I didn't know how I did it I just did. Perhaps the embarrasment of showing that kind of emotion in front of others was just too much more to bear than the actual pain of the spanking. Who knows! even I don't now!
I didn't stay there long cause I began to try and talk the others foster sisters into running away with me and we finally did one day. We went for what seemed like forever walking all over that part of town in a new neghborhood the foster home had just been moved to in the summertime, just before school was to began. They called the social worker, who was a woman then, to come and get me. I went back to the childrens home. I stayed a while and it seemed like a very long time then.
Finally me and my sister Linda went together to the Paynes foster home. We loved it there. The foster mother loved to teach us stuff and let us color a lot. Something we never got to do at home with our mom. The house was large and beautiful. Decorated with things me and my sister had never seen in a home before. The house was decorated in an orental style. It was my first experience ever in knowing about other countries other than the one I lived in. I was deeply impressed by the decorations and the whole look fascinated me.
We got dolls, toys, and games for our birthdays and Christmas, like we had in the childrens home as well but it was very special to get things in a homelike setting. We'd never gotten this kinda stuff in our real home. We felt like we'd got to heaven on earth. On the fourth of July we always went to see fire works which we'd only watched on tv before.
There was a foster sister who was crippled but she crawled around on her butt and played with us. We loved her a lot. She was a bit older than us and liked to talk to her friends on the phone all the time. We only just wanted to play with her though. We'd count the minutes the foster mother gave her to stay on the phone until she had to get off. The foster mother showed us how to count minutes on our fingers. She tried teaching us to tell time to, but I never cought on to telling time. Even now I still can't tell time fast and I have to look at the clock for a few minutes.
We all were crazy over an older foster brother who only came home on holidays. He was away at college most of the time though. He was so much fun for us girls whenever he visited. If we all were mad at each other he'd get us all over it really fast. We'd be back to being the best of buddies by the time it was time for him to go.
One day I was on the other side of the house where we kids had our own rooms where we played learned, napped, and even used the bathrooms. My foster brother was there to and we were watching tv. Everyone else was gone somewhere else doing who knows what. I didn't care but I was shy and felt strange being with him by myself. He started pocking on me to get me to laugh and I did. Then he kissed me on the mouth. My sisters and I had practiced doing it with coke bottles while our foster mother wasn't looking, but the real kinda kissing was warm and made me feel things a bottle never could. He stopped and we just sit and he joked with me to make me laugh the rest of the time.
The next itme he came home we were sititng in the smae room watching tv and were left alone again. This time he asked me to come and get between his legs on the floor and I did. He did to me what my other foster brother had done. He put his finger on places where I knew they shouldn't be. But it felt so good this time with him. I liked it and closed my eyes and laid my head back on his chest. Suddenly my foster mother was calliong my name and telling me to go to my room. I never saw the foster brother again after that. I tryed to run away one day when I went to the bus stop for school and once again I had my sister Linda and another foster sister with me. The police found us walking around and took us to school.
We never went home after school. The social worker came to school to get us and we went back to the childrens home again. I was about 10 years old by then.......