I Have to Hate You

why i have to hate a past lover

I Have to Hate You


I gave in because you wanted me to
I was undecided, but I did it for you
I said yes because it made you smile
Because you couldn’t wait a while
You needed an answer that very second
Impatiently your voice beckoned
You practically begged, I couldn’t resist
I accepted your offer, so you would desist
In retrospect I made a foolish mistake
Hindsight says there was too much at stake
There was more than too much for me to lose
Yet I foolishly allowed you to choose
I let you control what I should have handled
And you got me involved in a vicious scandal
Now I can’t flee the past or erase the pain
The past is my snare and I’m yoked to its chain
Shoulda, coulda, woulda, maybe
If I hadn’t been your preemie baby
If you would’ve had some patience in you
I probably wouldn’t have to hate you