My Survival

I'm put to the test

My Survival

I feel the pressure building in my chest,
Another great episode, I’m put to the test;
I question my life and why I am here,
Consumed with rage and overwhelmed with this fear.
Will it destroy me, hurt all those I know,
As this hatred begins to grow.

Then a glimpse of happiness comes into my life,
For a moment no pain, no suffering, no strife;
I live in the moment in hopes that it’ll last
I act out like a child and “poof” it has passed;
I awake to reality and see all the pain,
The destruction I have caused,
forever I will have this shame.

My mind is sick, I hate who I can become
How can I be so selfish, so careless, and dumb;
The guilt is overwhelming, it eats me alive
Just another episode I barely survive.

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