a dying girl who's proud to have a family
|I was a healthy girl as far as I remembered. But things changed too fast. I didn't expect nor did want to.|
I was celebrating my sixteenth birthday with my family.
I am your average teenage girl living in the land of the brave, Texas. Texas, as you may all know, land of cowboys and wild horses. Well, that's not only that, Texas is surprisingly beautiful--in my own perspective.
I'm a Mexican with American citizenship and you might just consider that fact because of the complications.
It was 1998 and I was 5 back then when I didn't know about borderlines and vicinities. I was lost, in the middle of nowhere. I accidentally crossed the invisible border line. Next thing I knew was that I was in an American hospital, I didn't know what happened to me, but they told me that they saw me passed out in the dessert. They didn't find any identification so the police send me there temporarily until I was able to tell my identity.
I had my Mexican accent and they quickly noticed that. I realized that they were planning to abort my flight back to Mexico since I have no guidance and I had no lawyer to protect me. At the same time, Mexico was in great depression. They had enough reason to keep me in this land. The Government decided to put me under their custody. So they put me in an orphanage.
It was 2005, and I turned twelve. They made lots of arrangements for my adoption for the past few years, but then they knew about my background, and people couldn't accept it.
I realize the people in the orphanage mostly are old. These people said they've been stuck in there since they had reached their thirteenth birthday or teenager stage, and I was nearly on that.
I was scared until two couples who lost their twelve-year-old daughter Clarisse on an accident signed my adoption paper and welcomed me. It was a very fortunate coincident, my name is Clarissa.
I finally had a new family, everybody accepted me except for one. Nicolas, Clarisse's brother. Nic for short.
Mom said that he thinks he was the reason why Clarisse is dead. And he couldn't accept me for that.
Of course, at first it was hard. It's not like as easy as transferring school, because, you'll still have your old family with you. Neither as if living in a dormitory--you could still contact your family. Family will be the change, so as the surrounding, even my citizenship.
It has been difficult for me to cope up when they're treating me as Clarisse. But as time past by, they learned to accept me. As for Nic, he never treated me like a sister, more like a stranger he will never know.
During my first year, my only friend was my diary. Little by little, I had my American accent due to these people surrounding me. I made friends whilst Nic remained the same. And Texas has been very great.
It has been the same until 2009. It was August 12, my birthday.
There had been news about Mexican influenza or Pandemic Influenza A(H1N1) virus, since April. I was ashamed of the public name.
Because of its contagiousness, America has been influenced, so fast.
We were celebrating my sixteenth birthday, quarantined inside the house. (We were not allowed to go outside due to the order of WHO (World Health Organization) because the flu had reached red alert.)
Luckily, nobody in the family had the disease until one day. I went out of the house and bumped into somebody with a hospital mask on. He said he's really sorry, He didn't mean to, and he wished he just never went out of his house.
I went directly in my room, then after an hour, I felt sick and all. I made an internet research about the symptoms of this A(H1N1), and it just all occurred to me. During that time there was still no cure for this international disease, and by that time, I knew I was dying.
I stayed out and kept my distance from them, and I did it perfectly well without being notice.
After a week, my estimated death, and I was right.
I called my mom and told her, that I love her no matter what and bid goodbye, and to my father, I thanked him because he gave me a better future. And for Nic, who by the way haven't still accepted me. I told him to open his mind and accept the facts and the thoughts that it hurts, just like my life.
I called them all and sent a message that I have influenza and it's been a week.
You think it's easy to say this?
Well, to be honest. Yes, it's very easy. It's just hard to accept the fact—the fact that I’m dying.
I'm actually predicting them my death.
My time has come to an end but I'm happy with it.
I am a dying girl as far as I know. And things changed too fast. I never expected, neither wanted.
I celebrated my last birthday last week and I'm happy to have it with my family
I was your average teenage girl who spent my life in the land of the brave, Texas. Texas, as we all know, land of cowboys and wild horses. Well, that's not only that, Texas is surprisingly beautiful—with a family just like the one I had.