The Sleepwalker

Where were those pounds coming from?

The Sleepwalker

I was a girl from L.A.
Whose flab would not go away.
I jogged and I ran,
Ate fiber and bran,
Sweets never led me astray.

But new fat seemed to appear
Although I did persevere.
For every pound lost
Two more were the cost.
I gazed at the scales in fear.

"I can't understand the gain,
When I go through all this pain,"
I cried to my friend,
Who tried not to offend,
Sympathy he had to feign.

He thought I must be cheating.
Pounds only came from eating.
A video cam
Was hid in the jam,
In my fridge it sat waiting.

At midnight I came walking,
Eyes down like I was sulking.
The fridge door swung wide,
No more could I hide
The diet I was mocking.

When questioned about my acts,
My memory forgot the facts.
I walked in my sleep,
Unable to keep
My hands from grabbing those snacks.

I knew why my clothes were tight.
My control had lapsed at night.
My buttons popped out
And left not a doubt
My weight had become a fright.

As I joined my group to dance,
Suddenly, I split my pants.
The exercise class
Could see my whole *@!,
They marvelled at the expanse!