by Man S
Love is essence that is meant to be felt and enjoyed
BY: Man S.
It is a great feeling to be noticed, physically, mentally and emotionally, by some one who
had been in your mind for a long time. Contagiousness of the syndrome may vary in
different individual, but Max was susceptible to such environment as he had been devoid
of emotional feeding. The first impact of an innocent frown justifying the unwanted
intrusion in someone’s private domain always leads to submission and withdrawal but
Max found it very appealing and fell for it. It was complete go at one plunge without
second thought because mind screamed, “Yes, that’s what I am all about and she is
manna unexpectedly dropped on starving creature.”
When Annie swayed her way into the staffroom, Max could not help looking at her over
the corner of his eyes, or over his shoulder for that matter. She presented an aura of most
docile and decent lady rarely caring for anything around except being professionally
devoted to her work. On being prompted to respond she would make it a point to be brief
and to the business. Her colleagues pooh poohed her. They thought this suited them best.
A safe distance from her, not being the victim of taciturn torture.
But there are people who value the tacit personality to their advantage. Only thing that
made it monotonous was lack of place for goofing around or gossiping out the time. But
it is not without gain. It created a place for good things to creep in. She developed habit
of reading and gained proficiency in dealing with the people. She learnt to find the right
person to talk to and amount of talk she could get into without endangering herself into
She found the company of Max very pleasing and productive. Initially she dismissed the
probability of being near friendship with him as she maintained all males tend to be
bastards and so mean that they would not let any chance of ogling go. After sometimes,
she came to know about Max through her colleagues. She always appreciated those
virtues in males, in fact fancied to fall in nuptial bond sooner or later. Destiny tricked her
into a life full of dilemma. Her hubby loved her paranormally. His family posed a threatjeopardizing
her married life. But she pulled on.
After ten years of dragging, she began to sense the futility of her existence. She had lived
ten years in his family sacrificing every bit of her rights, necessities and joys just to make
sure that she does not fail in her responsibilities. This trait descended from family value
perpetrating down the lineage. It was very deeply rooted and digression from the
traditional values conferred on her was equivalent to committing a crime or indulging in a
sin. She carried the tradition for ten years and then as if from the bolt from the blue she
woke into the world of reality. She perceived the inevitable, observed the compensation
for sacrifice, evaluated the gain from submissiveness and decided to wage a war against
her indomitable spirit
One day while sharing the topic on unsuccessful marriage, during free period in the
staffroom, she poured out and broke the wall that hampered the proximity from crawling
in. After various moments of sharing and caring, presumably after passage of nearly nine
months, Annie felt drawn to Max. Max had already placed her in his heart, the seat being
vacant, restlessly waiting for her approval. He could sense the chemistry of drawing close
to each other, but she remained indifferent to the approval. Her eyes and face told she
wanted to accept the amorous affair but something deep within her, stopped her. Max
never pressed upon her for fear of flat refusal or awful dejection.
She approved that this might be eternally established link culminating to oneness only
after death. She exhibited willingness to die together but kept mum over going on with
this openly as long as her hubby continued to love her. She owed social importance and
identity to him. She did not mean to betray him. This remained a constant pain with Max,
as she could never be his until he dies. She talked of next world. The world where they
would unite eternally. They would be free to indulge in all kinds of romance and amorous
activities. But in this world it is a taboo.
Max accepted her dilemma. In the core of his heart he saluted her feelings, her
philosophy. Apparently, he worshipped her for such covetous virtues. She was not less
than a divine lover for him. He knew, and hoped, one day she would value his pains and
agonies. He would be rewarded with blissful joy and celestial union with her. The vision
that she lay in his arms with his eye glued to her beautiful lips and eyes, her eyes drooped
with silent grace, cloyed sweet smile flitting over her lips, haunted him every bit of
second. He kind of hallucinated often, but that was only hers.
Time flew on. They kept seeing each other for another one year. Every time they met
their body hardly touched each others. Max wanted to but her graceful innocence was so
powerful that he felt ashamed of his intention sooner. But her company was warm, full of
tender acceptance of love, respect for the relation, and spirit of ‘we stay together till death
does us apart’. Rare moments allowed liberty of holding her hand, which she did not
seem to disapprove, and fall of her eyes, flush on her face, strengthen the love Max
harbored for her. Those were heavenly moments for him.
By now she had changed her place of occupation. She had found a place better than
where Max worked. Better opportunity to conceive ideas and growth of personal caliber.
Now they saw each other twice a week, after work hours, in a park ten minutes drive
from her work place. The distance had brought them even closer. They waited for the day
with anticipation. And relished the moments of togetherness even more. The park had an
aura of calmness with peaceful greenness. The surroundings sparked up their fresh spirit
One day, while they were busy holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes, the
cloud thundered. The blackness in the sky was gathering into ominous shape. Very soon
blackness turned into shower. Max cursed. He pulled Annie to him but she hesitated. He
offered her to move towards his car where they would at least be safe from rain. Once
they were in the car Max noticed Annie was soaked from top to toe and her transparent
suit was so revealing that he turned his gaze. He asked her to take the back seat if she did
not feel offended. She did not budge. Her quietness seemed very strange. He looked into
her eyes. He could not understand what they conveyed. Holding her hand in his, he
picked her face from her chin, trying to scrutinize the closed eyes of her. He inched in
towards her with intention of holding her in his arms. He made apparent attempt thinking
she would inch back. But she stayed. Her coy reluctance was enchantingly charming. He
looked at her. Oh god! She looked so beautiful. Too precious to be lost. An angel that
must not be bruised. Max put the heater on. Put the key in the ignition. Busy thinking
himself the most important person prized with Annie.
The car moved on.