This is just a start of a book. I am going to attempt to write.
|At times I am left with sitting in my chair, thinking of how I want my life to be lived. Then there comes a time when I just want to sit in that chair, have my thoughts to myself, and do nothing about my goals or those thoughts in which I have thought of. That is who I am, I am Paige. A girl with goals and thoughts that are unattainable. Goals in which I long to complete, but most likely never will.
So as I sit in my chair, twisting my brunette hair around my ever so tiny figure, I have decided that today is the day. The day in which I will achieve or start to achieve all my goals. Starting with goal one. Gaining confidence.
This is who I am. I am not the pretty girl who was popular in high school. I am not the nerd, jock, math geek, or anything along those lines. I am the compulsive lair, who planned to lie my way through life, hiding who I really am, from everyone...including myself. But now at the age of 19, I am rather sick and disgusted about who I am. It has reached the point where lied to myself about my appearance, trying to tell me that I am not actually "fat" but average. To be honest for the first time, I am 165 pounds, size 14, and 5 foot 4. With a rather stacked chest.
I work at Canadian Tire, Monday to Friday 8 to 5. Stuck wearing a Canadian Tire uniform that has a name tag that clearly reads " Paige Thomas, Hardware." I have now been out of High school for a year, maybe a couple months more. I took a year off to try and get out of my debt, find out what I want to do with my life, and to mature...even just a tiny bit. None of these goals have been reached. I am still in debt, and I have no future, and I am just as much as a child as I was a year or more ago.