a few words on pain desire lust confusion etc
|I lay, shaking, with a once white, now damp sheet beneath me.
The colours that take over are beautiful. I can’t help but chuckle, intoxicated by my pain.
I’m still shaking. He’s gone, and I crave his violence again.
Any human instinct for life seems feeble now. Weak. Void. Overwhelmed by my conflicting desires.
On the surface, I will and plead, I beg for him to stop. I scream, scared and vulnerable.
My secret desire, though, my silent prayers are that he continue.
He provides a sense of intensity, fight and thrill. A feeling I have can get only from him.
I know now, I am crippled, broken and worthless. I am numb
But it is this pain, its cruel relentless nature provides a sensation that reminds me I am here.
The colours around me are so vibrant and beautiful, flickers of crimson across the room. My crimson.