Intervention

Helping Miles is a lost cause

Me: Miles. Can you sit down; I’ve written you a letter.
Miles: Okay. Why have you written me a letter?
Me: Can you just sit down? I want to read you this letter.
Miles: Okay, but I don’t see...
Me: Dear Gary,
Miles: My names not Gary.
Me: Look, do you want to hear this or not.
Miles: ...
Me: Dear Gary, sometimes I wonder if you’re okay. Please advise. Yours sincerely and forever, the garden snail.
Miles: ...
Me: ...
Miles: Is that... is that all.
Me: I just worry about you sometimes Miles.
Miles: I see.
Me: Maybe I should have put that in the letter.
Miles: It’s fine.
Me: No wait.
Mile: You really don’t have to, there’s no need.
Me: There’s always need when you’re helping a friend.
Miles: Alright.
Me: Okay, how does this sound? Dear Gary, I just worry about you sometimes Miles. I wonder if you’re okay. Please advise. Yours sincerely and forever, the dust monkey.
Miles: It’s... but I thought you were the garden snail.
Me: Any wonder why I worry about you.

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