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A humorous look at a little operation that went wrong. |
My Foley and Me One night stay, simple and quick, over before ya know it, just that slick. Ha! What a crock I wake up with bowels hard as a rock! The Foley's inserted, IV in place, going home tomorrow is my saving grace. My sleep's interrupted but goes fairly well; then nurses file in to put me through Hell. They rip out the Foley, the IV is gone, send me to pee and leave me alone. I stood and faltered, equilibrium is altered. My head is spinning, I'm turning green I grab a bucket and upchuck my spleen. Finally I've made it to the white throne. I sit and I ponder... all alone. But, what is this?....My bladder resists. The nurse comes in and she insists. The threat of the Foley is real. The nurse just smiles. What a deal! So...It's my Foley and me, though not with glee. Still, I go to work and I play. Yeah, I'm gonna do it my way. I'll show them a thing or two, and on Monday bid my Foley ado! Alas, Monday comes and Foley has won. I can barely walk, let alone run. With the rubbing, and pinching, stabbing and wrenching, in the name of all things Holy, dear God, I hate this Foley. By Wednesday I will be fine. I'll walk in and pee on a dime. Wednesday comes and it's not to be, Dang it anyway, I still can't pee. Doc says, “you've done too much, working and running with kids and such.” Fate is not on my side; a week at home to abide. I go home and sit and don't throw a fit. No work, no play, feet up all day. “The bladder needs training. do schedule rearranging.” So... here am I as days drag by. I'll prop up my feet, I read and pout. Get lots of sleep and come Tuesday this damn Foley's out!! |