My Foley and Me

My Foley and Me

One night stay, simple and quick,
over before ya know it, just that slick.
Ha! What a crock
I wake up with bowels hard as a rock!

The Foley's  inserted, IV in place,
going home tomorrow is my saving grace.

My sleep's interrupted but goes fairly well;
then nurses file in to put me through Hell.
They rip out the Foley, the IV is gone,
send me to pee and leave me alone.

I stood and faltered,
equilibrium is altered.
My head is spinning, I'm turning green
I grab a bucket and upchuck my spleen.

Finally I've made it to the white throne.
I sit and I ponder... all alone.
But, what is this?....My bladder resists.
The nurse comes in and she insists.

The threat of the Foley is real.
The nurse just smiles.
What a deal!

So...It's my Foley and me,
though not with glee.
Still, I go to work and I play.
Yeah, I'm gonna do it my way.
I'll show them a thing or two,
and on Monday bid my Foley ado!


Alas, Monday comes and Foley has won.
I can barely walk, let alone run.
With the rubbing, and pinching,
stabbing and wrenching,
in the name of all things Holy,
dear God, I hate this Foley.

By Wednesday I will be fine.
I'll walk in and pee on a dime.
Wednesday comes and it's not to be,
Dang it anyway, I still can't pee.

Doc says, “you've done too much,
working and running with kids and such.”
Fate is not on my side;
a week at home to abide.

I go home and sit
and don't throw a fit.
No work, no play,
feet up all day.
“The bladder needs training.
do schedule rearranging.”

So... here am I
as days drag by.
I'll prop up my feet, I read and pout.
Get lots of sleep and come Tuesday
this damn Foley's out!!

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