A Christmas story based on the well-known holiday classic song
|Sleigh Ride: by Preston J. Richardson
Once upon a time in New York City in December, the holiday season was up. The kids are out playing in the snow building snowmen, riding on sleds, and everybody else was doing their Christmas shopping for the families. Driving her car to the Metropolitan Life Tower to work for the life insurance newsletters was an attractive, beautiful, pretty, and sexy woman with olive skin, high cheekbones, long beautiful hair, and a beautiful voice named Doreen Blanc with a smile on her face getting ready to start another day at her job with her friends, plus she’s rich and famous in New York City. She parked her car to the parking lot near there, head over to the door, then to the elevator with other people to the twelveth floor, her work number is 1214, it’s an office studio room for the newsletters. Everybody is glad to see Doreen and wished her Happy Holidays, Doreen was glad to see everyone back and wished them the same thing. One of her friends is another beautiful girl named Geri McGail went over to Doreen to wish her a good morning.
Geri: Good morning, Doreen, and Merry Christmas!
Doreen: Well good morning, Geri, and the same to you!
Geri: I’ve got a Christmas riddle for you.
Doreen: What’s up?
Geri: What do you call three guys that say bah humbug to Christmas?
Doreen: I don’t know. What do you call them?
Geri: The Three Scrooges! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Doreen: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Did you made that up yourself?
Geri: I sure did. I’ve got plenty of ideas like this for our newsletters because I make the comics.
Doreen: And you do a very great job with your comics, Geri.
Another friend of Doreen and Geri’s comes to work smiling happy to see them again on her weekend flight from England was another beautiful blonde haired woman was Laurie Michelle Spinnaker.
Laurie: Hello, you two smiling beauties!
Doreen & Geri: Well hello, smiling beauty!
Doreen: How’s the party business in England?
Laurie: It was great! London, England was really good to me this weekend. I’ve been disc jockeying, teaching all the British crowd how to party!
Geri: Wow, Laurie! You must have had a really great time over there.
Laurie: I always have great times when I party.
Doreen: So have you found a boyfriend yet while you’re down there in England?
Laurie: Nope, but I did get a lot of names, addresses, phone numbers, and emails from both guys and gals.
Doreen: Well that’s a start.
Laurie: I am still bi-sexual, plus, I wouldn’t forget about any of you guys because you’re my friends.
Doreen: And you’re our friend too, Laurie.
Geri: You bet you are our friend. And we always enjoy working with you, Laurie.
Suddenly, a beautiful black woman, tall, slim, pretty with high cheekbones, and African skin came to the girls. Her name is Leslie Salas, she was especially glad to see Laurie and the rest of the girls with a smile on her face.
Leslie: Yo, what’s up, Boo?!
Laurie: (snapped her head with a smile.) Leslie! (And they both hugged each other.) How have you been, sexy?!
Leslie: Girlfriend, I’ve been doing out of sight! How was your trip to London?
Laurie: It was awesome! In fact, I had a great ol’ time!
Leslie: Well girl, I’m glad you had a great time over there. (And to Doreen and Geri.) And how are you lovely ladies doing?
Doreen: We’re doing great, Leslie!
Geri: Yes, we are doing great this year.
Doreen & Geri: How about you, Leslie?
Leslie: Y’all, I’m doing great! See what I’m saying, Boo?
Doreen: We know exactly what you’re saying, Boo.
Geri: So did you have a good weekend, Leslie?
Leslie: I sure did. I did all of my Christmas shopping after Thanksgiving and last week. Now I don’t have to worry about it anymore. I am free.
Doreen: (slapped her right cheek real hard across her face.) UMM!! You did all of that real fast? Wow! You are ahead of me! I still have more to go because I have a great big family.
Leslie: So do I.
Geri: I still have a whole lot more to go too. And on top of that, I have to get my boyfriend something for Christmas as well. Which sort of reminds me, I need to call him after work today.
Leslie: What do you need to call him about?
Geri: He asked me if I’m free this Friday night because he wants to take me out to dinner, and to go see a play called “A Christmas Carol.” So I don’t want to blow my only chance so I must call him.
Laurie: Hey, you gals, here comes the boss.
Leslie: Uh-oh, the boss is coming?
Doreen: Well let’s get to work, everybody before we get yelled at.
So everybody went back to work where they belong because the boss went walking in. He’s a fifty seven year old man with a grey suit and a black tie. His name is Richard Waters. He wants to see everybody working and not loafing. He went to Doreen’s office first. He knocked on her door, Doreen opened it up, and said good morning to him.
Doreen: Good morning, Mr. Waters. Seasons Greetings.
Richard Waters: Hello, Doreen. Happy Holidays. You know, I’ve been watching you every step of the way.
Doreen: You have, sir?
Richard: Yes. You’ve always wanted to be a manager, right?
Doreen: More than ever, sir.
Richard: How would you like to be my assistant manager of this business?
Doreen: You’re promoting me as manager?!
Richard: Yes I am.
Doreen: (trying to get a hug from the boss, but Richard pushed her away from him.) Wow! Thank you so much, Mr. Waters! You don’t know how much this means to me!
Richard: Uh, no hugs please, Doreen. That’s against my policy.
Doreen: I’m sorry, sir, but I’m just way too excited to be assistant manager! When do I start?
Richard: You start right now.
Doreen: Oh, thank you so much, sir!
One day, a fine young man came to Metropolitan Life Tower to 1214 the room number named Vincent Mole, a sweet, smart 21 year old guy who just graduated from New York State College with a big smile on his face, and now he’s ready to work in the big leagues. He made it to the room, and punched in on time. He thinks he’ll find new friends in the new workplace, but too many people didn’t like him. When Vincent walked by, a lot of people looked at him funny with very angry looks. They were all ticked off with his smile, and had problems with his overhigh standards, all except a gay guy working in the business with a beard, moustache, and a hairy chest. But little did Vincent know that this gay guy started flirting with him going “Damn, this guy is sexy!” Vincent just looked at his new office, and it is great. Then Richard Waters the boss tapped Vincent on his left shoulder, Vincent turned around, and Richard welcomed him.
Richard: Welcome aboard, Vincent.
Vincent: Thank you, and you must be the boss Mr. Richard Waters.
Richard: Yes indeed. (Then Doreen Blanc walked by to meet Vincent Mole.) And this is my assistant Doreen Blanc.
Doreen: (shook hands with Vincent.) Hi, you’re Vincent Mole, are you?
Vincent: Yes I am. And you’re the beautiful Doreen Blanc. Nice to meet you.
Doreen: Nice to meet you too, Vincent.
But even Geri and Laurie didn’t like Vincent either, all except Doreen Blanc and Richard Waters.
Vincent: Are one of you going to show me around the place and teach me a lot of things I need to know?
Richard: Yes, Doreen is going to do these things for you while you’re both here.
Doreen: And I’m sure me and you are gonna be close buddies because you’ve got such a handsome gorgeous smile on your face, Vincent.
Vincent: Thank you, Doreen. I like your smile too. I’ve never written a newsletter for anybody before. But I’ve written a lot of high school and college news on papers.
Doreen: Well it’s the same thing. Only more exciting than a barrel of monkeys. You’ll love it, Vincent.
Vincent: It’s not hard, isn’t it?
Richard: No, of course not. It’s real easy. Don’t worry, everybody gets nervous on their first day on the job, even us bosses.
Doreen: And this is my first time being manager. And I still get nervous doing this.
Meanwhile, Geri and Laurie started looking at Vincent funny with angry looks as well. They were telling rumors to each other behind Vincent’s back, and that’s bad.
Geri: That guy is not so cool.
Laurie: He’s a gay nerd. He’s up to something very bad. I would not go out with a guy like him. He needs to marry his mother, stepsister, and a guy with a beard, moustache, and a hairy chest because he’s a cartoon character!
Geri: He’s got too many overhigh standards, a very nasal voice, and he doesn’t look too brainly! He’s an ogre I tell you!
Laurie: He’s crazy! And why is Doreen Blanc showing him around when she’s not supposed to a geeky monsterous dog around? What does she see in him? That’s stupid!
Geri: Well we don’t see anything good with that geek! We see a lot of bad things in him, whoever his name is! Doreen shouldn’t show him around! She needs to show him a thing or two! I don’t like this one bit! Doreen is supposed to be our friend!
Laurie: Well we’ll talk to Doreen about this, and keep her away from that Mr. Happy go lucky crazy cartoon. She’s supposed to only like the bad boys this year, and beyond!
Soon work was over, everybody goes home now. Vincent heads over to the Church of Transfiguration at Pell Street near Columbus Park to start his quiet time, reading his bible, then praying to God to help give him strength, and to find new friends including a girlfriend who will treat him swell and give him an adventure he always wanted. So Vincent sits in one of the seats by himself, reads his bible, then prays to God about things.
Vincent: Father in Heaven, even though I’ve moved here from St. Louis, Missouri with my parents, and I graduated from New York State because I only had a few friends in college, I need plenty of friends at my job, around the city, and in my neighborhood in my new street in New York City, along with a beautiful girl who I can share my life with, have an adventure, someone who’s sweet, nice, kind, polite, caring, sharing, charming, friendly, funny, honest, truthful, well educated, financially stable, smart, talented, intelligent, submissive, understandable, rich, famous, outgoing, way cool, and she’s got to have a great big family.
But when Geri McGail came to the church getting ready to read her newspaper, she didn’t like the way Vincent prayed. She thought that Vincent is stealing her plans away from her with his overhigh standards. So she rolls the paper up rushes over to Vincent, and bashes him across the head with it real good and hard, and Vincent shouted “OW,” and turns around!!!
Vincent: Is there a problem here, Miss?!
Geri: Yeah, as a matter of fact, there is! Why were you getting your hopes too high on my dreams?!
Vincent: I was not getting my hopes too high on anybody! I was in a middle of a prayer, and you just interrupted me by hitting me in the head with that newspaper!
Geri: (angry.) You were getting your hopes too high on my personal business! I CAUGHT YOU, YOU CREEP!
Vincent: (got up angry.) I don’t know what you’re talking about, young woman! And how dare you accuse me of getting my hopes too high on people’s business! You don’t even know me!!
Geri: (slapped Vincent hard across the face and threatened him.) YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE WITH ANYBODY, NOT EVEN GIRLS!! And I better not ever catch you anywhere near anybody, not even Doreen, nor me, nor the boss!! If you come to work saying hello to everybody just once more, I will KILL YOU!! You’re a homosexual, and you need to marry your mother, your sister, and a guy with a beard, moustache, and a hairy chest!!
Vincent: You’re sick! You know that, do you?! I’m not gay! And you shouldn’t talk to anybody like that because that’s mean! If you don’t take your negativity someplace else, then I’m gonna call the police for that harassment!
Geri: You’re a geek!! STAY AWAY FROM MY PLANS!!! (And she gave Vincent a black eye on his left eye real hard with her fist.) YOU MONSTER!!! YOU WORM!!!
Then she walked away out into the streets leaving poor Vincent alone in tears crying like a baby.
Suddenly, a black janitor named Gus heard Vincent’s cry while he was sweeping the whole church floors. So Gus went up to Vincent to ask him what’s the matter.
Gus: Are you alright, boy? What’s wrong?
Vincent: I was doing okay praying to God until some mean woman stopped me from praying by threatening me to quit dreaming, making new friends, and thinking about girls! She just wants me to keep my mouth shut for good and marry a gay guy with a beard, moustache, and a hairy chest, and that’s not cool at all! That’s all very sickning! And she doesn’t even know me! That’s why I’ve got this black eye from her just recently because she hates me! She thinks I’m gay, and she wants me dead! Just because I have overhigh Standards does not give anybody the right to judge me like that!
Gus: Well don’t listen to her. But pray for her. You go to church every Sunday, do you?
Vincent: I do all the time.
Gus: Do you read your bible everyday?
Vincent: Yes I do.
Gus: And do you accept the lord Jesus Christ as your holy savior?
Gus: Well if someone’s ever threaten you like that nasty girl just did, pray about it. Just ask the lord to help her change her wicked ways. And if she doesn’t change right away, keep praying for her and let God handle her. This is America. Plus, this is the Christmas season. You can do whatever you want in the name of the lord Jesus Christ.
Vincent: You’re right, sir. I don’t need to listen to her grief, nor anybody else’s negativity. I’m my own person. And I can take care of myself.
Gus: There you go. If people threaten you to do nasty things for them, tell them no. And if they don’t like it, that’s their loss, not yours. So you just worry about you.
Vincent: I will, and nobody’s gonna stop me either!
But just then, Geri McGail came back to the church, she overheard Vincent and Gus talking, and she was not very happy about this at all. In fact, she was very ticked off about what Gus and Vincent were talking about. She walked real fast over there just to get Vincent with an angry look.
Gus: Say, what’s your name, man?
Vincent: I’m Vincent. Vincent Mole.
Gus: (shook hands with Vincent.) Nice to meet you, Vincent. I’m Gus Jenkins.
Vincent: Nice to meet you, Gus.
Gus: I’ll be saying a prayer for you, Vincent. I’ll pray that the lord will give you peace, strength, and encouragement to deal with these nasty folks.
Vincent: Thank you, Gus. Thank you oh so much because I’m going to need all the praying I can get.
Geri: (stopped them, pulled Vincent by his ear, and talked to Gus.) Excuse me, pal, but I believe this dummy is with me, and I would appreciate it oh so very much if you didn’t talk to him anymore, unless you want to get a big whack across the stomach with your God nonsense!! QUIT IT!!!
Gus: Well whoopdeedoo, girlfriend! May God have mercy on your soul big time!
Geri pulled Vincent by the ear real good and hard and then took him outside in front of the church.
Geri: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!!
Vincent: (angry.) What does it look like I’m doing, you stuck up snob?!! I was trying to get away from you the way you were threatening me!!
Geri: You were taking away my routine with your overhigh standards against me, you double crossing, dream robbing dork!! AND I DON’T LIKE ANYBODY TAKING MY PLANS AWAY FROM ME LIKE THAT!!! THAT’S DUMB!!!
Vincent: LOOK, SNOB, WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM?!!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME WHEN YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME?!!!
Geri: (agitated.) YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY, GEEK?!!!
And Geri beats Vincent up real good and hard, punches him, kicks him, slaps him, really roughs the daylights out of him until Vincent was down, and he was. Then Geri raves at him some more.
Geri: STAY OUT OF MY FUTURE, JERK!!!
And Geri ran away across the streets without looking both ways mad, and she just got hit by a car. She landed on the ground unconscious, but she’s not dead. A man in his sixties got out from the car to check out Geri to see if she’s okay, and everybody else watched as well.
The man: (to Geri.) Hey Miss! Miss! Are you alright?
Doreen Blanc went up there too to see if Geri was hurt, and she paniced.
Doreen: OH MY GOD! WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE?!
Doreen ran up a little closer to see if Geri’s alright.
A policeman stopped Doreen in her tracks and said this to her.
The policeman: Miss, you’re gonna have to stand back. There was a major accident on these streets.
Doreen: But that’s my best friend Geri McGail!! She would never jaywalk like that!!
The policeman: Miss, I said stand back! We’re taking care of this right now!
Suddenly, Vincent got up, but still he was hurt and bruised to death. But everybody looked at Vincent getting up and they had very angry looks. They all thought he killed Geri.
A Chinese man: (pointing at Vincent’s direction.) HE DID IT!!! HE KILLED THAT WOMAN OUT ON THE STREETS!!!
A man: YUCK!!! DISGUSTING!!!
An old woman: YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!! YOU MONSTEROUS MASHER!!!
A Hispanic woman: GET HIM!!!
Vincent: (to everybody.) But I didn’t do anything! She did it to me! TO ME!!!
A black woman: (grabbed Vincent by his right arm.) HEY BOY!!! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!!! HOW DARE YOU TORTURE THAT NICE WOMAN WITH YOUR ROTTON GARBAGE LIKE THAT!!! JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!!! (Then she beats him up.) DON’T YOU EVER GET YOUR HOPES TOO HIGH ON OTHER PEOPLE’S PLANS LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN!!! DO YOU HEAR ME, FOOL?!!!
Then she punches him to a newsstand, and knocks everything down including him with another black eye!
Suddenly, two police officers grabbed Vincent, handcuffed him, put him in the paddy wagon. One of the officers said to him “You’re under arrest on suspendtion of killing a woman out in the streets! You have the right to remain silent! You have the right to sing the blues! Anything else you say or do shall be used and held against you in a court of law!”
Vincent: But I didn’t do anything! She did that to me, and she did that to herself!
The policemen: SHUT UP!!! You’re going to jail!!
Doreen: Now why are they locking Vincent up?!!
Vincent: LET GO OF ME, I SAY! I’VE DID NOTHING WRONG!
But the police didn’t listen to a word Vincent said at all. They just took him into custody. Suddenly, Laurie Michelle Spinnaker came over to Doreen and asked her this.
Laurie: What just happened, Doreen?
Doreen: Geri’s gone to the hospital, and I don’t know where the police are taking Vincent! I don’t think Vincent did anything wrong at all.
Laurie: Yeah he did! He’s gotten his hopes too high on our plans! That’s why he’s taking to custody!
The next morning at the Metropolitan Life Tower, everybody returns back to work, Vincent just got released from the police station and went back to work, then the boss Richard Waters had to talk to him about something.
Mr. Waters: Now Vincent, what you did to Geri was unforgivable!! That was the most lowest, low down, and very disgusting thing that you did to her!!
Vincent: Sir, I can assure that I didn’t do anything to her at all. She did it to me, and she did it to herself.
Mr. Waters: DON’T LIE TO ME, VINCENT!
Vincent: Who’s lying?!
Mr. Waters: VINCENT!!! Geri has worked real hard in this business, and she always does a very great job around here!! Now I expect you to show some respect with everybody here, and that includes Geri!! This is the Christmas season!! Halloween is over!! If you ever scare off any of my employees with your foolishness like that again, you won’t be working here!! When Geri gets back from the hospital, you owe her a big apology!! I’m telling you right now, either shape up, or ship out!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!!!
Vincent: (crying.) Yes, sir.
Mr. Waters: DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN EVER AGAIN, OR YOU’RE BUSTED!!!
Then Richard Waters left, then Laurie Michelle Spinnaker went up to Vincent and said a negative comment to him.
Laurie: Boy, are you dumb! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
Then she left him, then this gay guy with a beard, moustache and hairy chest came to Vincent with an evil smile and started saying nasty, and unkind things to him like he’s in love with him.
The bearded gay guy: Hey ya, sexy! You look like that hot and sexual sexy type for me! Would you like to go out with me on a date?
Vincent: NO! Now leave me alone!
The bearded gay guy: Oh baby, you’re real hot when you’re angry, and I love it! It turns me on!
Vincent: Will you get out of here already?! I’m not into this garbage!
The bearded gay guy: You know I’ve been watching you, and I want your body this year. You’ve been the Christmas present I’ve been wanting to have as my own for the longest time. I want to marry you, and have sex with you all night and all day. You’re everything I’ve been dreaming about.
Vincent: GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU NASTY CREEP!
The boss comes back to watch over Vincent.
Mr. Waters: VINCENT!!! Leave Gary alone!! You’re nagging him to death!!
Vincent: Who, Mr. Waters? This gay guy is named Gary?
Mr. Waters: You know who I mean, Vincent!! Don’t give me none of that guff!
Vincent: But sir-------------------------------------------------
Mr. Waters: Now that’s enough, Vincent!! You keep acting crazy with people long enough, and that needs to stop!! Otherwise you will be looking for another job!! Do you hear what I said?!! And don’t forget to apologize to Geri when she comes back because you hurt her!! So don’t go hurting Gary the same way!! You hear me?!! You leave them alone, otherwise you’re in big trouble!!
And Mr. Waters left again, Vincent was a bit confused about who’s Gary. So he asked the bearded gay guy if his name is Gary.
Vincent: Are you Gary?
The bearded gay guy: Yes. Gary Dunne is my name, and getting you is my game. And I’ll be seeing you real soon, baby. Loves and kisses!
And the bearded gay guy Gary Dunne took off, and Vincent started crying in tears because nobody wants to be his friend. Then finally, Doreen Blanc came over to Vincent to ask him what’s wrong.
Doreen: What’s wrong, Vincent?
Vincent: Everybody hates me here in New York! I have no friends, some crazy woman started threatening me, but everybody thought I did something to her, and I didn’t She did it to me and she did it to herself!
Doreen: I know you didn’t do anything to Geri, Vincent. She always gets like this when she sees a lot of lonely men.
Vincent: Now who is this Geri woman?
Doreen: She was the one who threatened you. I told that crazy woman to take her medicine before she comes here to work. It’s obvious that she didn’t do it. No wonder she gets into too much trouble.
Vincent: Well never in my life have I seen anybody like that, not even Geri. The girl doesn’t even know me when she threatened me like that. I wish I had plenty of friends though.
Doreen: I’ll be your friend, Vincent. And I’m sure everyone else will too once they get to know you.
Vincent: Well nobody wants to get to know me today.
Doreen: This sounds like you need a hug.
Vincent: I do.
Doreen: But first, let me slap myself in the face. (And she slapped her right cheek across her face real good and hard and grunted.) UMM! Come here, Vincent.
Then they both reached out to each other and gave each other a big long cheek to cheek hug.
Vincent: I love you, Doreen.
Doreen: I love you too, Vincent.
Vincent: Thank you.
Doreen: You’re welcome.
Then they finally let go of each other.
Doreen: Say Vincent, are you doing anything this Friday after work?
Vincent: No, not that I know of.
Doreen: How would you like to go with me on a sleigh ride around downtown New York City, after that, come over my parents’ house for dinner? You’ll get a chance to meet my big family, and they’re all very nice.
Vincent: Would I?!! I would love that very much! Yes, I would love to go with you this Friday night.
Doreen: Do you want to meet here at work this Friday night so that we can go from here?
Vincent: Sure. I’ll ride with you to cool places around New York because I don’t have a car yet. I always take the bus. But at least I save a lot of my money like my parents taught me. I have at least forty one thousand dollars in the bank.
Doreen: For how much is it for bus fare?
Vincent: A dollar and seventy five cents.
Doreen: A dollar and seventy five? That’s very expensive. Don’t spend one seventy five for bus trips. I’ll take you to work, and bring you back home everyday. How does that sound?
Vincent: That sounds cool!
Doreen: Yeah. Don’t spend it on bus trips anymore. Save your money. Do you live with your parents?
Vincent: Yes I do.
Doreen: Where do you live, Vincent?
Vincent: 812 Avenue M.
Doreen: I know where that is.
Vincent: You do?
Doreen: I sure do. In fact, I know my way around New York City.
Vincent: That’s cool! Then you can show me all around New York City.
Doreen: You bet I will. I will show you all around the big apple.
Then suddenly, Laurie Michelle Spinnaker came up to Doreen and Vincent because she overheard everything Doreen said to Vincent.
Laurie: Can I come along too?
Doreen: Sure you can, Laurie.
Laurie: (to Vincent.) Oh, I’m sorry I called you dumb. I know you didn’t Geri. She did that herself. I was just kidding.
Vincent: That’s okay.
Laurie: By the way, my name is Laurie. What’s your name?
Vincent: (reaching out to shake hands.) Vincent.
Laurie: (shook hands with Vincent.) Nice to meet you, Vincent.
Vincent: Nice to meet you too, Laurie.
Then suddenly, Leslie Salas came over to Vincent and the girls and asked them this question.
Leslie: Hey yo, what’s going on around up in here?
Doreen: Leslie, meet Vincent. He’s our new employee who just moved here to New York from St. Louis, Missouri.
Leslie: St. Louis, Missouri?! That’s where I’m from too, baby! (To Vincent.) Hi, my name is Leslie.
Vincent: (shook hands with Leslie.) Hi, my name is Vincent.
Leslie: Nice to meet you, Vincent.
Vincent: Nice to meet you too, Leslie.
Doreen: Well I’m sure when Geri comes back in, she needs to apologize to you and be your friend as well, Vincent.
Vincent: Well she better. Otherwise I won’t ever talk to her again.
Laurie: Oh oh, you guys. Here comes the boss.
Leslie: The boss? Where?
Laurie: Over there on the right of you.
Leslie: Oh oh! We’ll chat later, Vincent.
So everybody went back to work when Richard Waters came along to see everybody working.
Mr. Waters: (to himself.) Thought I like this business better than a barrel of monkeys.
Doreen: Hello, Mr. Waters.
Mr. Waters. Hello, Doreen. (to everybody else.) Okay, everybody, it’s quitting time! You all did a very good job today. Now it’s time to go home.
So everybody packs up their stuff nice and neatly, heads down to the elevators, and heads for home. Some people have some more Christmas shopping left to do. Vincent waits for Doreen to take him home.
Doreen: Are you ready, Vincent?
Vincent: Ready as I can be.
Doreen: Well let’s go.
And they were on their way.
Meanwhile at the parking lot of the building, inside Doreen’s car, Doreen and Vincent were talking about things on their minds while Doreen was driving taking Vincent home.
Vincent: I love your car, Doreen.
Doreen: Why thank you, Vincent.
Vincent: Do you always keep your car clean everyday?
Doreen: Yes I do. I sometimes take it to a carwash and they wash it for me, polish it, and clean it. Sometimes I do it all myself.
Vincent: That’s very cool, Doreen.
Doreen: Thank you, Vincent. So what do you do on your days off?
Vincent: Well for one thing, I write to all of my sisters and brothers that are now away, so I’m the lone ranger in the family.
Doreen: Aw, you poor thing. Well all of my brothers and sisters haven’t moved out yet, all except me. They’re still there with my parents. So you’ll get a chance to meet them when you come over to my family’s house.
Vincent: Cool! I can’t wait to meet everybody over there once we’re there. I hope they’re very nice.
Doreen: They’re more than nice, they’re all very sweet.
Vincent: I’m glad.
Doreen: So do you do any hobbies at all?
Vincent: I like to write scripts, write music, play piano, sing, act, and direct for plays. I did that all back when I was in high school in St. Louis, and in college here in the state of New York.
Doreen: Wow! That’s amazing!
Vincent: Also, I want to make my way to move to Los Angeles, California to be one of Hollywood’s biggest stars, and I will go global.
Doreen: That’s cool, Vincent! Well I hope your dreams come up for you. Good luck.
Vincent: Thank you.
And finally they made it over to Vincent’s house at 812 Avenue M. It’s a big house made of bricks.
Doreen: Now, is this the house where you live?
Vincent: Yes it is. Thank you for the ride, Doreen.
Doreen: Aw, you’re quite welcome, Vincent.
And they both gave each other a great big cheek to cheek hug.
Here is the mother and father Vincent lives with. Their names are Amy and Clearence Mole. Amy is the mother, and Clerence is the father. They are checking out their Christmas list about the presents they’re giving to their family.
Amy: Clerence honey, I’m still trying to think what I want to give to my son in law Tom and his wife and kids of what they want for Christmas.
Clerence: Well don’t forget, Amy, that you still need to get a gift for your mother also.
Amy: I know. My mom is desperate to get a gift from me big time.
Soon, there was the door being unlocked, and it was their son Vincent.
Vincent: Mom, Dad, I’m home!
Amy: (coming running to him.) Vincent! How is my boy doing?
Vincent: Pretty good, mom. Where’s Dad?
Clerence: I’m coming, son!
And here comes Clerence.
Clerence: Wow, you look like a million dollar business man, Vincent! How are you holding up on your job?
Vincent: It’s going pretty good, mom and dad. At first I thought I won’t have any friends, but I found some. At least I found one. Her name is Doreen Blanc. She’s a babe, and she’s assistant manager in the business.
Amy: Is she rich, Vincent?
Vincent: Indeed she is.
Clerence: That’s great, son! Are you in love with this Doreen woman?
Vincent: Actually we’re just friends for now. But she said she would invite me to her family’s house to meet her family so that I’m not being as lonely as much now that I miss all my brothers and sisters.
Amy: Well it’s nice that you found a friend in Doreen Blanc.
Vincent: Plus, she wants to go sleigh riding with me, and she’s gonna show me all around New York City. And I can’t wait! I can’t wait!
Clerence: Well I’m sure you two are going to get to know each other, and get along just fine.
Vincent: Yes we will. Well I better take off these work clothes, take a shower, and put on something comfortable before she gets here.
Amy: Okay, Vincent! You have a good time!
Vincent: Oh, I will!
Clerence: You have fun, son! We’ll see you when you get back!
Vincent: Thanks, mom and dad! Catch you guys later!
Then Vincent runs to his room, takes off his work clothes, puts on his robe, heads to the bathroom, turns on the shower, and takes it.
Meanwhile over at the New York Hospital, Geri McGail was wondering when is she ever going to get better. In the hospital, she was lying in one of the beds watching her favorite program on TV. She’s watching “Desperate Housewives.” She laughs at it all the time.
Geri: I love Desperate Housewives!
Suddenly, Geri heard a knock at her door. She said “Come in,” and it was Doreen Blanc.
Doreen: Hey, Geri, how are you holding up?
Geri: I’m holding up great now, Doreen. I’m waiting for the nurse to come up with the results of whether or not I should leave this hospital. I’m hoping I do so real soon.
Doreen: (angry.) That was very stupid of you after what you did to Vincent the other day, Geri!
Geri: Doreen, he’s a troublemaking, double crossing moron. I hate him, and you should hate him too.
Doreen: I don’t hate him at all! So how dare you say that disgusting, nasty phrase to me like that?!
Geri: Doreen, he’s gay, and he’s only a little child.
Doreen: No he’s not! Plus, he’s not gay either!
Geri: What are you talking about?!
Doreen: I’m taking him out tonight to my parents’ house to meet my family for dinner, and after this, me and him are going for a sleigh ride together because I’m gonna show him all around New York City to cheer him up! They shouldn’t arrest Vincent for what you did to him and yourself, they need to arrest you for that because you judged and threatened him, and you don’t even know him! He’s only from St. Louis, Missouri!
Geri: (aggressive.) What?! You’re going out with a geek tonight and inviting him to your parents’ house?!! How could you do this to me, Doreen?!! You know we can’t go out with dweebs!! He’s a dweeb that needs to be punished!! And I thought you were my very best friend!! TRATOR!!!
Doreen: I was just going to say the same thing! It’s very obvious that you don’t want to befriend Vincent for what he’s been going through! You ought to be ashamed to yourself!
Geri: I don’t want to make friends with a geek!! Okay?!! I only make friends with cool people that are rich and famous!
Doreen: The that, my dear, leads an end to our friendship! You don’t like Vincent, I don’t like you!
And Doreen leaves Geri’s room angry. Suddenly, a beautiful nurse comes to Geri’s room to check on her.
The nurse: Hello, Geri.
Geri: Hello, Nurse.
The nurse: Who was that that just walked by?
Geri: Oh, that was just my stupid friend Doreen. She didn’t know what she was talking about to me.
The nurse: Well just ignore people like that. Good news! You go back home now!
Geri: Oh cool! Now I can go back to work again to teach my stupid friend, and that dweeb a lesson.
The nurse: Why do you want to teach a dweeb a lesson?
Geri: Because I hate geeks, that’s why!
The nurse: You hate them? But you’ll liable to hurt them, and that’s not nice.
Geri: It is too nice. After all, this is a free country. I love the popular, and I hate the lonely. So there!
The nurse: Okay. If that’s the way you want it. But if you disrespect anybody that you run into, nobody is going to respect you back. So I would suggest that you think about that. Okay?
So the nurse lets Geri go, she’s walking fine, and she’s okay.
Geri: Gee, thanks, nurse. I feel much better already.
The nurse: You’re quite welcome, Geri. Well you have a Merry Christmas.
Geri: You too. Thanks.
They both wave good bye with smiles on their faces. When Geri took the elevator down, she called Gary Dunne and three more gay guys to get Vincent.
Geri: (on her cellphone.) Hello, Gary? Oh, it is you. Are you still lonely? Well I have a man just for you this year. His name is Vincent Mole, the homosexual gay monster. He’s gonna be your man from now on, and not Doreen Blanc’s. So bring the other three gay guys with you as well. Okay?
Then she hung up the phone, then put it back inside her purse. And she was on her way.
Meanwhile back at 812 Avenue M, Vincent is ready for Doreen to come and get him.
Amy: Wow! You look very spiffy tonight, son.
Vincent: Thanks, mom.
Amy: I take it you’re waiting for Doreen.
Vincent: Yes I am. And she’s gonna be here immediately. So I made it just in time.
Clerence: Well well well, don’t you look hot tonight, son!
Thanks, dad. I’m waiting for Doreen. She said “She’s gonna be here tonight.”
Clerence: Well you two have fun tonight.
Vincent: I will, dad. (He looks out the window.) Yes, here comes Doreen right now!
Amy: Is that her, son?
Vincent: Yes it is! And she’s heading this way!
The doorbell rang, Vincent opened the door, and it’s Doreen.
Doreen: Hey, Vincent! Ready to go?
Vincent: I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long, Doreen.
Doreen: Oh, of course, you’ve been patient.
Vincent: Indeed I have. Come on in. I want you to meet my parents.
And Doreen walked in the house to meet Vincent’s parents.
Vincent: This is my mom.
Amy: (reaching out to shake hands with Doreen.) Hi. You must be Doreen. I’m Amy. Nice to meet you.
Doreen: (shook hands with Amy.) Nice to meet you, Amy. And Happy Holidays.
Vincent: And here is my dad.
Clerence: Hi, I’m Clerence. You must be Doreen.
Doreen: (shook hands with Clerence.) Yes, sir. Nice to meet you, Clerence.
Clerence: Nice to meet you too, Doreen.
Doreen: So are you ready, Vincent?
Vincent: Ready as I’ll ever be, Doreen.
Vincent: Well mom, dad, we’ve got to go.
Amy: Well you two have a great time.
Clerence: Have fun, you guys.
Doreen: It was nice meeting you two.
Amy: You too, Doreen. We hope to see you again.
Clerence: Stop by and see us again, Doreen.
Doreen: Oh, I shall. Good bye.
Vincent: Good bye, mom. Good bye, dad.
Amy & Clerence: Good bye, son.
And Vincent and Doreen closed the housedoor, and they were on their way out.
Amy: Wow, Clerence! I can’t forget what we did for the holidays back when we were teenagers.
Clerence: Oh yes, Amy. We were the wildest teens back home in St. Louis.
Amy: Indeed we were. Until that night at the high school Christmas party for all the teenagers, you asked me to dance for the very first time when I started checking you out sitting in a table with my friends.
Clerence: Yes of course. I started checking you out too. I was too shy to come to you.
Amy: And I was too shy to come to you. But at least we both made it through.
Clerence: We sure did, Amy. After all the men and women we’ve been around with, we finally had each other.
Amy: Yes, you were my early Christmas present.
Clerence: And you were my early Christmas present too. We were having a ball with each other. Were we?
Amy: We sure did, Clerence.
While Doreen was driving the car with Vincent by her side, Doreen and Vincent were talking about things on their minds.
Doreen: Vincent, you’re gonna love New York City. It’s a real cool place this year.
Vincent: Wow! This will be cool! So how long you’ve been living in New York City?
Doreen: For years, man. For years. As if I live here.
Vincent: (laughs.) You’re so funny.
Doreen: (laughs back.) You are too.
Vincent: Thank you. I tried. So what nationality are you, Doreen?
Doreen: I’m European. What nationality are you?
Vincent: I’m American as always.
Doreen: That’s cool, dude! I like Americans a lot because they’re special, and they’re smart.
Vincent: And I like all nationalities from all over the world, including Europeans. And Doreen, I like you.
Doreen: Why thank you, Vincent. I like you too. Oh, we have to pick up Laurie as well.
And they did go to Laurie Michelle Spinnaker’s house at 316 West 128TH Street. So Doreen blew her horn, Laurie rushed over to Doreen’s car, went in, and they were on their way.
Laurie: Well good evening, both of you.
Vincent: Well good evening, Laurie.
Doreen: Good evening, Laurie. Are you ready for this big event?
Laurie: My friend, I was born ready. (To Vincent.) How are you doing tonight, Vincent?
Vincent: I’m doing great, Laurie! I can’t wait to go to this sleigh ride with you girls.
Laurie: Well we can’t wait either, Vincent. This is going to be a lot of fun.
Vincent: You know, did I ever tell any of you that this is my first time I’m going out with two beautiful girls?
Doreen: Well you’re gonna have a lot of fun with us girls, Vincent.
Laurie: Yeah, and we’ll get to know each other, spend some time with each other, and hug and kiss each other.
Vincent: I love hugs and kisses.
Doreen: So do I, Vincent.
Laurie: Me too. So Vincent, where are you from?
Vincent: I’m from St. Louis, Missouri. Where are you from, Laurie?
Laurie: I’m originally from Chicago, Illinois. But I was raised here in New York.
Vincent: That’s way cool! I hear you’re a D.J. for parties, weddings, and all other occasions.
Doreen: And she’s one of the coolest disc jockeys here in the face of this planet Earth.
Laurie: So if you have a party going on at your place, Vincent, let me be the D.J. for your festival. Okay?
Vincent: You got it. You can come to my house for a party anytime.
Vincent: I love you girls already.
Doreen: Aw, we love you too, Vincent.
Laurie: We sure do.
Doreen: Well, you guys, we made it downtown.
Vincent: Cool! I’ve been hoping to come here for so long.
Laurie: Well this is really cool!
Doreen: As soon as I find a parking place, we’ll get to a sleigh ride.
Laurie: Yes, absolutely.
And they all found a parking place downtown, got off the car, and went walking to go on one of the horse and sleighs. They walked through Time Square.
Doreen: Here we are, Vincent, at Time Square. Where the neon lights are all beautiful this time of year.
Laurie: Have you been to Time Square before, Vincent?
Vincent: Why no, I’ve never been here before. But I’ve heard so many amazing stories about it. This is great! I like it!
Doreen: And you’re gonna love our sleigh ride when we show you around New York City.
Vincent: There comes a horse and a sleigh now.
A man driving the horse and sleigh stopped for Doreen, Laurie, and Vincent.
The man: Would you ladies and gentlemen like a sleigh ride?
All three: We sure would.
The man: Three dollars, please.
Doreen: I’ve got this, you guys. (To the man.) Here’s nine dollars, sir.
The man: Come on aboard.
And they all went aboard the horse and sleigh, and took a ride in it.
Vincent: Wow, this is relaxing.
Doreen: See, I told you you’d like it.
Laurie: I like it too, you guys.
Doreen: I come to these sleigh rides every year.
Laurie: We know you do, Doreen.
Vincent: But I don’t know it.
Doreen: Well now you do, Vincent.
Vincent: You got it.
And Doreen was showing Vincent all around New York while on the sleigh ride, and Laurie just watched all the sight seeings of the city.
Vincent: Wow, Doreen, you sure know this city!
(Continued in Chapter 2)