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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/1819769
by cool9
Rated: E · Script/Play · Comedy · #1819769
Christmas Story based on the holiday classic song
CHAPTER 5

Doreen: Sure. Father in Heaven, we thank you for bringing us all together again, and we thank you for everything else that you’ve done for us. Now we pray for the food that we are about to eat. Please give us strength and power from the food that we’re going to eat, and to nurish our bodies from the food to keep us alive, happy, healthy, and well. Thank you for bringing us together, and we hope our friendship would last a long long time. So please help us with that. And these and other blessings that we ask in the name of the lord Jesus Christ and for his sake.  We thank you. Amen.

Everybody: AMEN!

    And they all get a lot of the food being polite with each other, and starting over to eat it. But little do they know that founding them all the way out to the country at the home of Farmer Gray, family, and friends was none other than that nasty Geri McGail and their other nasty, and evil friends. They all finally found Doreen and her friends, and followed their tracks.

Geri: We’ve got them, everyone. They’re having dinner with a farmer family.

Matthew: Well, what are we going to do now?!

Geri: Shhhhhhh! Not so loud, Matthew sweety.

Matthew: Sorry, honey.

Geri: Alright. Here’s what we’ll do. We’re gonna sneak up to the house quietly, and just before they pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie, we’ll get them.

Gary: And we’re gonna get my lover too, right, Geri?

Geri: Indeed, Gary, because he has no right being with people! He’s not good enough! He’s gay!

Benny: Yes, we men want his body.

Another girl: But we women don’t.

Manny: Hey Geri, I think they’re done with dinner.

Scott: Now they’re getting ready to pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie.

Geri: Well, everybody. CHARGE!!!

    And they all busted in Farmer Gray’s house to start more chaos!

Doreen: What the hell is going on here?!!

The kids: HELP!!! MOM!!! DAD!!!

Geri: (grabbed Vincent by the neck of his shirt.) IF YOU WERE TOLD ONCE, YOU WERE TOLD A THOUSAND TIMES!!! YOU BELONG TO THE MEN, FOOL!!!

Vincent: Geri, are you on DRUGS?!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I DON’T WANT TO BE WITH ANY MEN!!! OKAY?!!!

Farmer Gray: You knuckleheads stay away from our kids!! Do you understand me?!!

A black man: NO!!! You come anywhere near me and those stupid kids, I’d whip yo’ ass!!

Stephanie: I don’t think so, dude!

The black man: And just who do you think you’re talkin’ to bitch?!!

    Then Stephanie kicked the black guy across the face with her right foot out the door.

Stephanie: (to the black guy.) AND STAY OUT!!!

Elmer: Thank you, Stephanie. You saved our lives.

    Meanwhile, Doreen and Geri are crossover catfighting over Vincent.

Doreen: (slapped Geri’s face hard.) You leave Vincent alone this very instant!!

Geri: (slapped Doreen’s face hard.) NO!!! HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE WITH THE MEN!!!

Doreen: HOW DARE YOU, GERI!!! YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HIM!!! HE’S A REAL SWEET GUY!!! NOW TURN HIM LOOSE!!!

Geri: (angry.) GET LOST!!!

    And Doreen and Geri started catfighting each other big time. But meanwhile, Farmer Gray went and grabbed his riffle, and aimed it at the nasty drug addicts gay guys, and Geri McGail, and told the creeps off.

Farmer Gray: NOW LOOK, YOU SOUTH PARK NASTY MONSTERS!!! I WANT YOU INMATURE CHILDREN OUT OF MY HOUSE THIS VERY MINUTE!!! YOU’RE RUINING OUR PARTY, PLUS, YOU JERKS ARE NOT INVITED!!! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE CHRISTMAS SEASON, NOT THE OTHER HOLIDAY AROUND!!! NOW GET OUT OF HERE, YOU UNGREATFUL CRITTERS YOU!!

    But little did Farmer Gray know that sneaking up behind him with his gun was none other than Matthew Conniff. He pointed his gun at Farmer Gray’s head, and told him with a very bad threat.

Matthew: Nobody’s leaving out of here at all, Pops. Now, either you put the riffle down immediately, or I’ll blow your damn brains out. PUT IT DOWN NOW, OLD MANE!!!

    And so, Farmer Gray put his riffle down the floor, the gay men took Vincent away from Doreen and her friends, and the bad people took off with Vincent.

Farmer Gray: I’m going to call the police.

Doreen: That’s a good idea, Farmer Gray. Me and my roommates will help the police go out and rescue Vincent.

Ingrid: Good thing these dumb animals didn’t take our picture prints by Curier and Ives.

Christina: They’re safe and sound, Mrs. Gray.

Ingrid: Oh, bless you, Christina.

Cindy: Well what are we waiting for, you guys? No time to waste! Let’s go!

Doreen: Wait, Cindy! (to Farmer Gray and Ingrid.) Would you two, and the kids like to come with us?

Ingrid: Sure. We haven’t been into the city for such a long time.

Farmer Gray: It’s been about a year since we’ve been to the city. I’ll start the van. Ingrid, you go get the kids.

Ingrid: Right you are, Henry.

    So Ingrid gets all the kids together to come with them.

Ingrid: Hey kids, it’s time to go out!

All the kids: YAY!

Elmer: Where are we going, mom?

Ingrid: We’re going to the city to rescue our friend Vincent from those bad people.

All the kids: ALRIGHT!! We’re going to the city!
                                          We’re going to the city!
                                            We’re going to the city!
                                            We’re going to the city!

    So the kids grabbed their coats, hats, scarfs, and gloves so that they can head over to the van. The van is brand new. It’s a 2012 red Toyota van.

Farmer Gray: Hop aboard, everyone!

All the kids: YAY!!

    So the kids hopped inside the red 2012 Toyota van so that they can go over to the city to rescue Vincent away from Geri McGail and her nasty kind.

Doreen: Just follow us and we’ll show you where they are!

Farmer Gray: Okay, Doreen! Just show us where those creeps have token him, and we’ll help you ladies stop those monsters! Okay?!

Doreen: Okay! (To the ladies.) Let’s go, ladies! We have no time to waste!

All the ladies: Right!

    So the girls led the way, and Farmer Gray and his family followed them.

    But meanwhile heading back to the city, Vincent got handcuffed by Geri McGail, and Matthew Conniff while they’re heading back to Geri’s house to continue with the party.

Vincent: Why can’t you creeps get a life like everybody else, especially like Doreen?!

Geri: We’ve got a life, dummy! You don’t!

Vincent: I do too!! How dare you guys take me away from my friends?!! You guys put me back this very instant!!

Geri: SHUT UP!!! You’re not going anywhere near these losers again!! You’re gay, and you’re gonna be with the men forever and ever!!

Vincent: (crying.) NO, I WILL NOT BE WITH ANY MAN, ESPECIALLY A  GAY MAN!!! I’M INTO WOMEN!!! TURN ME LOOSE, NOW!!!

Geri: SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!!! YOU’RE GONNA MARRY A MAN, STIMPY!!! AND THAT’S FINAL!!!

Vincent: TURN ME LOOSE, I SAID!!! I’m into nice people, not mean monsters like you guys!!

Geri: I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE EITHER INTO BRITNEY SPEARS, OR VICTORIA JUSTCE!!! YOU’RE NOT BEING WITH ANYBODY LIKE THAT!!! EVER!!!

Vincent: (still crying.) WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! SOB!!! I DON’T WANT TO BE WITH YOU GUYS!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Geri: STOP ALL OF THAT CRYING!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!!!

Vincent: NO!!! NOT UNLESS YOU GUYS APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT YOU’RE DOING TO ME!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Matthew: Say, Geri, is Stimpy crying?

Geri: Of course he is! He wants to go back to Doreen and those other stooges! He doesn’t realize that he’s gay, and needs to marry a man!  He’s just crying for absolutely no stupid reason at all!!

Vincent: WAAAAA!!!! SOB!!!! YOU’RE MONSTERS!!!

Matthew: Stimpy, you stop all of that crying right now!! Do you understand me?!! You’re crazy!!

Vincent: I’M NOT CRAZY!!! YOU GUYS ARE!!! I DON’T KNOW WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT WITH ME WITH THOSE GAY MEN!!! YOU GUYS HAVE NO RIGHT TORCHERING ME, AND THREATENING ME WITH YOUR NASTY GRIEF!!! AND YOU, GERI, YOU’RE THE CAUSE OF ALL THIS TROUBLE BECAUSE YOU STARTED IT WITH ME FIRST WHEN I WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS AT THAT CHURCH PRAYING FOR NEW GOOD FRIENDS HERE IN NEW YORK BECAUSE I’M REALLY FROM ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI, AND NONE OF YOU REALLY KNOW THAT!!! SOB!!!

Matthew: (angry.) Look, Stimpy, I’m gonna take my belt off and whip you in a minute if you don’t STOP ALL OF THAT CRYING!!!

Vincent: I WANT TO GO TO MY FRIENDS NOW!!!

Geri: YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH THOSE LOSERS!!! YOU KEEP ASKING US THAT, I’LL SMACK YOUR FACE OFF!!!

Vincent: YEAH?!!! YOU AND WHO’S ARMY?!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Matthew: Do you want me to tear him limb from limb for you, Geri? He’s beginning to be a pain in the ass!

Geri: No, Matthew. But I will call the police on him if he doesn’t behave himself! He’s gay and he needs to be with the men!

Vincent: You two are insane!! WHAT DO YOU GUYS KEEP HAVING AGAINST ME JUST BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO BE A DIFFERENT PERSON FROM ANOTHER CITY AND STATE!!!

Geri and Matthew: SHUT UP, STIMPY!!!

Vincent: AND MY NAME IS NOT STIMPY!!! I am Vincent Mole!!

Geri: Nice try, Stimpy!!

    Suddenly, Vincent looked up to the front of Geri’s rearview mirror, and it was Doreen Blanc and the girls, along with Farmer Gray’s family following Geri’s tracks, along with the rest of Geri’s nasty crue. So Vincent called Doreen for help.

Vincent: HELP ME, DOREEN!!!

    Even Geri looked through her rearview mirror, and she was really mad!

Geri: WHAT?!!! It’s that pesty European cheekbones bitch Doreen again!! HOW DID SHE KNOW THAT WE WERE HEADING BACK TO THE CITY TO MY HOUSE?!!!

Matthew: Maybe she’s psychic?

Geri: Don’t be funny!

Matthew: Sorry.

    But meanwhile following Geri, and the rest of the nasty bunch from behind, it’s Doreen Blanc and the girls, along with Farmer Gray’s family.

Doreen: There they are, ladies! I’m gonna kill Geri McGail, and her boyfriend for robbing Vincent! I can’t believe Geri would be such a fallen angel from me!

Stephanie: Because she’s screwed, that’s why!

Ronda: I hate her already, and her nasty friends. They’re going to do something bad to Vincent. I just knew it.

Doreen: Not if we go straight to their house and get them, Ronda.

Christina: Yeah, that’s right, Doreen. We’re gonna teach those shitdogs a lesson they’ll never forget!

Katie: OOH!! How I’m gonna flatten that stuck up snob Geri McGail! She thinks she’s better than everybody else when she’s not!

Doreen: Yeah, you’re telling me. Such a fallen angel. Geri’s not my friend anymore.

Cindy: As a matter of fact, Doreen, she’s nobody’s friend. She’s nothing but a rotten diva. That’s what she is.

Judy: I detest people like Geri. It’s just like she wants to go to Hollywood and be such a diva star like Jennifer Lopez, or who knows who.

Katie: Well poo poo on her. She’s not gonna go far like that. No adoring fan would go to her for an autograph.

Ronda: Not at all!

Doreen: We’re almost there, you guys.

Stephanie: And she’s almost there too, along with her nasty friends. I don’t call them friends at all. I call them monsters.

Doreen: Yeah, real ugly monsters that have no Christmas spirit. All they ever think about is Halloween, just like in those nasty Nightmare on Elm Street movies.

Christina: I hate Freddie Krueger. He makes me sick to my stomach, just like Geri and her friends. And I’m gonna kick her butt!
    Meanwhile, they all finally made it back to Geri’s house at 3125 10TH Avenue near 23RD Street back in the city.

Geri: YEAH, BABY! We finally made it!

Doreen: (getting out of her van at Geri’s house.) So have we, you bitch! Now, give us Vincent!

Geri: DOREEN, HOW DARE YOU GUYS FOLLOW US AROUND TO OUR HOUSE LIKE THAT?!!! DON’T YOU KNOW THAT’S VERY ILLEAGLE, AND VERY WRONG?!!!

Everybody: YEAH!!!

A beautiful black woman: Slap some damn sense into those girls, Geri!

Geri: Later, Moesha. Later.

Ronda: Look, Geri, we’re telling you right now! Either you turn Vincent loose immediately, or we shall be forced to call the authorities on you for sending a lonely man to the gay guys!

Geri: (to Ronda.) YOU SHUT UP, YOU UGLY TRAMP!!! You don’t look so cute at all!!

Christina: Hey, you don’t ever talk to my pal Ronda that way!! We don’t care how ugly or cute she is, we’re all human!! So there!!

    Then Geri slapped Christina’s face real good and hard. And Christina grunted “UMMM” as her head was tilted to the left side of her real quick, and back in place slowly, and she put her hand to her right cheek, rubbed it up and down to stop the pain in her face.

Christina: (to Geri.) You’re a bitch!!

Geri: (getting ready to slap Christina again.) DO YOU WANT A FRESH ONE, HUH, TOUGH GIRL?!!!

Stephanie: Hey, you leave Christina alone, you snotty evil dushebag!!

    Then suddenly, Farmer Gray and his family came to Geri’s house to save Vincent also. They parked their van to the side of the street, got out, and Farmer gray used his riffle at Geri and her friends and started raving at them.

Farmer Gray: NOW LISTEN HERE, ANIMALS!!!

    But Matthew pointed his gun again at Farmer Gray’s head, and started threatening him again.

Matthew: No, you listen here, Pops! We’re going inside that house, party like crazy, and have the men have sex with Stimpy! So you and the losers had better clear out immediately, or you’re all dead! Got that?!

    But little did Matthew know that one of Farmer Gray’s daughters Karina threw a rock on Matthew’s head real fast, and Matthew said “OW!!!”

Matthew: (angry.) ALRIGHT!!! WHO DID THAT?!!! WHO THREW A ROCK IN MY HEAD?!!! SOMEBODY IS GONNA GET AN ASS WHOOPING FOR THIS!! NOW SPEAK UP!!! WHO THREW THAT GODDAMN ROCK?!!!

    Then Stephanie went up to Matthew, tapped him on his left shoulder and said to him “Hey!” Then Matthew turned around, looked at Stephanie, then Stephanie punched him right down to the ground.

Geri: (to Stephanie.) HOW DARE YOU HIT MY BOYFRIEND LIKE THAT, YOU BITCH!!!

    Then Geri, Matthew, Doreen, Farmer Gray, and the rest of everybody were fighting each other over Vincent with their moves again just like in the old Batman television series from back in the sixties. Farmer Gray used his riffle to shoot down the bad people, but he missed, and missed again.

Geri: I HATE YOU, DOREEN!!!

Doreen: Hey, that’s your problem, not mine!!

    Then Doreen punched Geri real good and hard across the face, and Geri fell down to the ground. Meanwhile, Farmer Gray’s kids started throwing rocks at the bad people, and snowballs too, raving at them.

The kids: (to the bad people.) LEAVE OUR FRIENDS ALONE, YOU BIG BAD BULLIES!!!

    Gary Dunne spotted the kids throwing rocks and snowballs at his nasty friends. So Gary went up to the kids and threatened them.

Gary: Hey, what the hell do you brats think you’re doing?!

The kids: (screamed and ran!) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Gary: COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE JACKASSES!!!

    Gary started chasing the kids all around Geri’s house, and Farmer Gray spotted Gary chasing his kids and threatening them. So Farmer Gray went to their rescue by shooting Gary’s behind with his riffle. Then Gary let out a yell.

Gary: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Farmer Gray: (to Gary.) YOU LEAVE MY KIDS ALONE, YOU HOMOSEXUAL PUNK!!!

    Then Vincent ran and hid behind a big tree because he couldn’t fight at all. He wasn’t born a fighter. He’s only a lover. So he’s trying to avoid the fight.

Stephanie: Hey ladies, where’s Vincent?!

Christina: I don’t know, Stephanie!

Vincent: (to the ladies.) Here I am, ladies, behind this big tree!

    Then Christina, Stephanie, and even Doreen ran over to the big tree to Vincent.

Doreen: Are you okay, Vincent?

Vincent: (sad.) No, not really. I don’t know what’s Geri’s problem with me. I don’t know why she bashed me across the head with that stupid newspaper at the church when I was praying and minding my own business. (He’s starting to cry.) Why does Geri think I’m gay when I’m not? What does she and her friends have against me?!

Christina: Aw, dude, don’t cry. Okay, Vincent? She’s just a very bad person.

Stephanie: She’s just psycho, that’s all. So don’t cry, Sweetie.

Doreen: It’s gonna be alright, Vincent honey. We’ve got your back because we love you, and we know that you’re not gay. You’re a real cool guy, and very sweet.

Christina: Mm-hmm, and you’re also very smart. We like sweet and special guys like you, no matter what your standards are, and no matter where you’re from You’re welcome to New York anytime.

Vincent: Thank you, Ladies. Thank you.

Stephanie: Do you want us cool sisters of the future to cheer you up by us slapping our cheeks across our faces for you so that we can give you great big cheek to cheek hugs?

Vincent: Oh, that would help out very much. That would be very extremely nice.

Doreen: Let’s do it, girls. For Vincent.

    But before the girls were going to slap their faces for Vincent, Geri McGail stopped them in their moves, and threatened them.

Geri: Just you ladies hold it right there, you holiday spiritual bimbos!!

Stephanie: Who are you calling a bimbo, bitch?!!

Geri: We want Stimpy NOW!!!

The girls & Vincent: NO!!!

Doreen: You did enough messing with Vincent too many times, Geri!! Now he’s hurt, and YOU HURT HIM!!!

Geri: And I’m gonna start hurting you three if you don’t hand over Stimpy NOW!!!

Doreen: Not on your life, you damn diva!!

Stephanie: (punched Geri’s left eye.) TAKE THAT!!!

Geri: (let out a yell.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! MATTHEW!!!!

    And Geri ran over to Matthew and her friends.

Vincent: (to Geri.) THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR DOING BAD THINGS TO ME!!! YOU DESERVE IT, YOU WICKED WITCH!!!

    Then that big guy Bruno spotted the girls with Vincent as well behind the big tree. He saw what Stephanie did to Geri and he was mad. So he rushed over to the big tree and told them off with a bad negative threat.

Bruno: I SAW WHAT YOU FOUR LAMEBRAINS DID TO GERI, AND YOU CREEPS ARE GONNA GET IT GOOD!!!

Doreen: SAYA WHO, YOU BIG STIFF?!!!

Bruno: SAYS ME, YOU DUMB BROAD!!!

    Then Farmer Gray saw the girls and Vincent in trouble with Bruno. So he fired at will on Bruno’s back with his riffle. Bruno let out a yell as well, and ran for his life away from Geri’s house, and before he went back to his car, the police came, used their clubs, and bashed Bruno with the clubs, handcuffed him, and threw him in the New York City paddy wagon. Then more policemen came with their cars, got out of them, and gathered all of Geri’s nasty friends because they were bad.

Geri: (saw the police.) WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!!! WHO CALLED THE POLICE?!!!

Katie: (to Geri.) It was I who called the police on you jerks, ass bitch!! Me and Ingrid both!!

Ingrid: (to Geri.) Because you monsters are destroying the holidays for everybody around here, and torchering everyone to death!! You people are sinners!! And may God have mercy on your souls until the judgement day when it comes!!

Matthew: (grabbed by two policemen.) GODDAMMIT!!! I WANT TO PARTY WITH MY WOMEN!!! I WANT THE MEN TO HAVE SEX WITH THAT GEEK!!! THIS IS HALLOWEEN!!! SHIT!!! GODDAMMIT!!!

The two policemen: (to Matthew.) SHUT UP!!!

Geri: (to Katie and Ingrid.) YOU TWO ASSHOLES ARE GONNA PAY FOR THIS!!!

A policewoman: (pointing her gun out at Geri:) I don’t think so, honey! I don’t think so, honey! Geri McGail, you’re under arrest on suspension of harassing a lonely newcomer of New York City by the name of Vincent Mole, and threatening people who love Christmas very well! You’re sentenced to life in prison! Let’s go!

Geri: (to herself.) I hate Christmas, dammit!

    Then suddenly, Doreen’s friends from her job at the Metropolitan Life Tower came to Geri’s house as well, including the boss Richard Waters, and saw what was going on with the police, and the bad people.

Laurie: Holy cow! What happened here?!

Leslie: I don’t know, girl. Let’s find out.

Mr. Waters: Look, ladies! It’s Doreen and Vincent!

Laurie: Along with other people with them, especially Doreen’s roommates!

Mr. Waters: Let’s go!

    Then suddenly, Vincent’s parents came up to Geri’s yard as well. They saw Vincent with the girls, and Farmer Gray’s family rushed over to them just to check on Vincent.

Amy: (cried.) Oh, my baby!

Clerence: Are you alright, son?

Vincent: I am this time, mom and dad. Doreen, her roommates, and farmer Gray’s family saved my life from a bunch of nasty people that want me away from my new friends to a bunch of gay men and mean people. But the police got them just in time.

    Then Doreen tuned around real fast and saw Vincent’s parents near by.

Doreen: (smiling.) Oh hi, Mr. and Mrs. Mole. I didn’t know you two were here as well.

Amy: What happened here, Doreen?

Doreen: A psycho woman named Geri McGail whom I used to be friends with had turned out to be a fallen angel monster with your son while I was showing him around New York City, took him to a sleigh ride, invited him to my parents’ house, and my house as well to meet my roommates, going sledding, and over to farmer Gray’s place out in the country. Geri and her nasty asshole friends keep molesting Vincent, called him a dumb name like Stimpy from the Ren and Stimpy show, used him as a sex toy for the rotten gay guys because they all want to kill him for absolutely no reason at all.

Christina: But we’ve took care of it so they won’t bother your son anymore.

Amy: Oh, thank Heavens.

Doreen: Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Mole, I want you to meet my roommates. Meet Cindy Nantz, Ronda Lithaw, Judy Hand, Katie Mendozier, Stephanie Mazza, and Christina Melendez.

Amy & Clerence: Hi, ladies. Merry Christmas.

The girls: Hi. Merry Christmas to you guys, Mr. and Mrs. Mole.

    Then suddenly, Leslie Salas, Laurie Michelle Spinnaker, and the boss himself Richard Waters went over to the girls, Vincent, and Farmer Gray’s family as well to see if they’re okay. But the good friends were still introducing Vincent’s parents to Farmer Gray’ family.

Farmer Gray: (to Amy and Clerence.) Hello, you guys. I’m Farmer Henry Gray. You two must be Vincent’s parents. Right?

Clerence: That’s us. Merry Christmas to you, sir.

Laurie: My God, what happened around here, you guys?

Mr. Waters: We saw the police come to this house!

Leslie: What’s been going down, y’all?

Doreen: You guy, it’s a long story.

Stephanie: But everything’s okay now. Nothing bad has happened to us. We’re all alright.

Doreen: We’ll talk about it when we get back to work. Okay, you guys?

Laurie: Sure.

Leslie: find with me, girl.

Mr. Waters: As you wish.

Clerence: (to Vincent.) So are you ready to come back home with us, son?

Vincent: More than ever.

Doreen: (to the Mole family.) Oh, before you guys go, I have an announcement to make for everybody.

Farmer Gray: Oh you do?

Clerence: What’s up?

Vincent: We’re listening.

Doreen: On Christmas Day, you all are invited to my parents’ house for an all new Christmas batch where there’s dinner, games, prizes, and a lot of Christmas presents to give to everybody. And Vincent, you and your family are invited to come too.

Vincent: COOL! How about it, mom and dad? Can we all go together to Doreen’s parents’ house for this Christmas batch? I’ve met all of her family, and they’re all very nice.

Clerence: (to Amy.) What do you think, Amy? Do you want to go to Doreen’s family’s place for Christmas?

Amy: I can’t see why not. Of course.

Clerence: (to Doreen.) We’ll do it, Doreen.

Doreen: Awesome! And after Christmas, everybody, we’ll all go downtown and take a bunch of sleigh rides all around New York City, and Time Square. What do you say, everybody?

Everybody: YEAH!!! YAY!!!

Vincent: (smiling.) Looks like God has answered all of my prayers after all. I’m glad I’ve got good truly BFFs here in New York City just like I did back home in St. Louis.

    Soon, it was Christmas Day. And everybody including Vincent, the girls, Laurie, Leslie, the boss Richard Waters, and Farmer gray’s family are over at Doreen’s family’s house for this great Christmas batch, even Vincent’s parents Amy and Clerence. And they all got along great.

Doris: (to Doreen.) hey, Doreen! I heard that some bad people took Vincent away from you guys. Why did they do that?

Doreen: Because they all thought he was gay, and we know that he’s not. Plus, they were doing all sorts of very bad things to him. But they’re in prison now so they’ll be spending Christmas time in there, and many years.

Mary: Well we know that Vincent is not gay the first time we all have met him.

Cambria: Yeah, he’s a real sweetheart. He deserves good friends, and a beautiful gal pal by his side.

Doreen: Someone like me of course?

The sisters: Yeah, someone like you.

Doris: Because you’re a beautiful woman, Doreen. And Vincent deserves you.

Cambria: After all, you’ve met him at your job.

Mary: I think you and Vincent make a great couple.

Doreen: I believe so too, ladies. And you’re all right. (She looks at the clock on the wall.) Oh, that’s my cue, ladies! I’ve got to sing this song for everybody! We’ll talk some more about this later. Okay?

All three sisters: Good luck!

    So Doreen rushes up to the living room getting ready to sing her song for everybody, and she’s got a CD with the music to put it in the stereo. So she calls for everybody’s attention.

Doreen: Excuse me, everyone! May I have your attention please? (Everybody’s quiet now.) Thank you. I wish to sing to each and everyone of you a Christmas classic. It’s a remake that I did with some of my friends from high school, it’s a rock’n’roll tune. So everybody, get up from your seats because you’re gonna be dancing to this Christmas song. Everybody get up right now! Everybody!

    So everybody gets up from their seats, Doreen puts the CD in the compact disc player, she starts it, and everybody’s dancing to this fast paced, four count rock’n’roll Christmas classic in a G major tune called Sleigh Ride while Doreen starts to sing it.

Doreen: Just hear those sleigh bells jingling
              Ring ting tingling too.
            Come on, it’s lovely wheather for a
            Sleigh ride together with you.
            Outside, the snow is falling and friends are calling yoohoo.
          Come on, it’s lovely wheather for a sleigh ride together with you.

          Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up, let’s go.
          Let’s look at the show.
          We’re riding in a wonderland of snow.
          Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up, it’s grand, just holding your hand.
          We’re riding along with a song in a wintery fairyland.

          Our cheeks are nice and rosey and comfort cosey are we.
          We snuggle close together like two birds of a feather would be.
          Let’s take that road before us, and sing a courus or two.
        Come on, it’s lovely wheather for a sleigh ride together with you.
(And she slapped her left cheek real good and hard across her face and grunted.)
UMM umm!!

    And everybody continued dancing to the instrumental part while the music continued playing, and everybody was really having a great time with all smiles on their faces. Vincent was having most of a ball with a sweet and positive smile on his face a lot because now he’s got people in New York City that really love him, even Doreen. Doreen started singing again.

Doreen: There’s a Christmas party at the home of Farmer Gray.

Farmer Gray: That’s me!

Doreen: It’ll be the perfect ending of a perfect day.
              We’ll be singing the songs we love to sing without a single stop.
              At the fire place where we watch the chestnuts pop. POP POP POP!

            There’s a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy.
            While we pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie.
            It’ll nearly be like that picture print by Curier and Ives.
          These wonderful thing are the things we’ll remember all through are lives!

          Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring ting tingling too.
        Come on, it’s lovely wheather for a sleigh ride together with you.
        Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling YOOHOO!
        Come on, it’s lovely wheather for a sleigh ride together with you.

        Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up, let’s go.
      Let’s look at the show.
      We’re riding to a wonderland of snow.
      Giddy up, giddy up, giddy up, it’s grand, just holding your hand.
    We’re riding along with a song in a wintery fairyland.

    Nice and rosey and comfort cosey are we.
    We snuggle close together like two birds of a feather would be.
    Let’s take that road before us and sing a courus or two.
    Come on, it’s lovely wheather for a sleigh ride together with you.
    Lovely wheather for a sleigh ride together with you.
    Lovely wheather for a sleigh ride together with, lovely wheather for a sleigh ride together with,
    Lovely wheather for a sleigh ride together with you. YEAH!!

      And everybody clapped and cheered for Doreen for doing such a great job singing the song. Vincent rushed over to her and congragulated her on the song.

Vincent: That was wonderful, Doreen, and I love that slap you did in the middle of it! That was very hot!

Doreen: Why thank you, Vincent! Thank you!

    And they both gave each other a great big cheek to cheek hug and kiss. Then everybody went up to Doreen and congradulated her.

Farmer Gray: That was great, Doreen!

Doreen: Thank you, Farmer gray!

Laurie: That was really excellent, Doreen!

Doreen: Why thank you, Laurie!

Leslie: Girlfriend, I’ve got to hand it to you! You’re alright!

Doreen: Thanks, Leslie!

    And the two beautiful girls gave each other a high five, and a great big cheek to cheek hug because Doreen’s performance of Sleigh Ride was awesome! Even Richard Waters liked it as well. Everybody was happy because they love the party, and they love the song.

    The next day, Christmas was over for everybody in New York City. Everybody went to take a sleigh ride on each and every horse and sleigh in downtown New York City. Still everybody looks around all the Christmas stuff from buildings and stores everywhere while they’re on a sleigh ride. Farmer Gray’s family went on one, Doreen’s family went on one, Mr. and Mrs. Mole went on another alone by themselves, Richard Waters, Leslie, and Laurie went on another by themselves, and Doreen, Vincent, and Doreen’s roommates went on a sleigh ride alone so that they can spend some time withVincent as their new favorite BFF for life.

Vincent: Ladies, this is the best Christmas ever. I’m glad you girls have came around to get to know me. In fact, I’m glad everbody has.

Doreen: Well we’re all glad to get to know you, Vincent. Aren’t we, ladies?

All the girls: We sure enough are.

    And all of the girls slapped their cheekbones real good and hard across their faces for Vincent, Vincent got turned on and excited because he has a fetish for women’s cheekbones, and all of the girls gave Vincent great big cheek to cheek hugs and kisses as they promised before.

Vincent: Oh, thank you ladies. Thank you all so much You don’t know how much this all means to me. You all are my special Christmas present ever. And I am so thankful.

Doreen: You’re our Christmas gift to us too, Vincent. See, we knew you have a fetish for women’s high cheekbones, especially my high cheekbones.

Christina: And you know that we’ll always take good care of you, dude.

Stephanie: And You’re welcome to spend time with all of us any day, including the holiday seasons.

Vincent: Anytime, ladies?

All the girls: Anytime, Vincent.

Vincent: Excellent! I wonder what we’ll do for Valentine’s Day, or Easter, or the Fourth of July, or even something like that.

    And the girls started laughing with Vincent because they all think he’s funny in a good way. Vincent laughed with them as well because he loves his new friends here in New York City. And Mr. and Mrs. Mole were in another sleigh ride looking out for their son Vincent along with the gilrs beside him as well.

Amy: Look, Clerence. There’s our boy Vincent all surrounded by those beautiful women, including Doreen by his side. How wonderful is this.

Clerence: Well, honey, I believe our son is going to be alright from now on.

    And that concludes our story of Sleigh Ride. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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