balloon and loneliness. impromptu.
|Who would've known that letting go of a single gas-filled balloon into the clear sky would so perfectly capture the feeling of loneliness? I stood there watching the cheery round ball float up until it becomes a barely-visible red dot in against the backdrop sky.
The slightly hesitating manner that it drifts away, meandering behind trees and going sideways at times, as if still pondering its new-found freedom. Lost little balloon.
I start to feel sorry for letting it go, then ridiculous for feeling sorry at something so dumb. I deliberately look away. But the light presence of the balloon still floating overhead drew my eyes back once again.
Not that it was demanding my undivided attention with its weakening presence. It just hung there in the sky, sometimes looking like it was barely moving, simply reminding me that it was there. But somehow that was enough to make me guilty.
I was the one who released it into the sky, curious of how far it would go. It was an inanimate object. It wouldn't feel liberated, nor abandoned; nor would it enjoy being able to see an unlimited panorama of the city. But i couldn't help feeling sorry, and nor could I explain why.
It would just drift away soundlessly, sad little balloon that it is, without ever feeling anything. Then perhaps a bird would come along, or a plane, or whatever else that would be up there floating at this time of the day. And maybe the balloon would say hi, if it were alive. Or maybe it would just pop.
What if it became night time? Would the balloon still be floating in the consuming darkness? Or maybe it would be a beautiful clear night, inky black sky sprinkled with stars. And the balloon, if only it had eyes, would be able to watch it all.
How far do you intend to float? Does it get more lonely the higher you go? Do clouds taste like sugar? Is the rabbit on the moon dead? Are aliens green? How can you tell where the border between thin air and outer-space is? How would you know if you're no longer on this earth? Do you ever wish you stopped floating? How does it feel knowing that you had no choice but to keep going up, until you finally waste away and fall down again, lifeless and deflated?