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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1896232-Out-and-Down
Rated: 18+ · Short Story · Other · #1896232
Phoenix goes for a drive out on the town, but he is severely depressed and knows it...
Phoenix was up and down all night long.  In bed, out of bed, in bed, out of bed.  He worked on his notes for his upcoming molecular neuropharmacology test when he could not sleep.  When he would get tired, he would go back to bed and try sleeping again.  Needless to say, he worked on his notes a lot.  Finally, when he decided to stop trying to sleep and take a shower, he did so and then worked on his notes a bit more.

Phoenix realized at 1000 hours that he was missing church.  Again.  He wanted so badly to go to church, but he could not bring himself to do it.  He had a rage inside - a rage he was afraid the Lord would not want in His house.  Phoenix did truly believe that he was evil for the things he had done in his life.  He toted the line that he believed in salvation, and he did...for everyone except himself.  Phoenix decided to pack up and go to the coffee shop to study for a while.  He went for a drive on the way, passing by the church.  It broke his heart to see all of the people's vehicles there without his own in a parking spot.  He began regretting other things and it snowballed on him.  Phoenix sank into a deep depression with suicidal ideation almost immediately.  Would walking into the church help this?  Phoenix did not think so.

Phoenix arrived at the coffee shop and set his bag and book down at a table in the corner.  It was the handicapped table.  Phoenix was definitely disabled.  A very unfriendly attendant waited on him when he ordered his Earl Grey tea.  Phoenix attributed this to her having to deal with him specifically.  Phoenix was in deep.  He was not thinking rationally.  As a matter of fact, he was thinking about the loaded gun at home...
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