by EMZee Snowe
An Essay I wrote for "This I Believe", but apparently it wasn't exactly what they wanted.
|I have always been afraid. I have always been afraid that everything I have worked for, everything I have strived for would become worthless. I have always been afraid that the dreams I have aspired to fulfill would all come crashing down, shattering into little pieces around me. I have always worried that I have dreamt up unobtainable goals. I have always been afraid, but at the same time, hopeful. I have always been hopeful that I would do something right and finally say, “I did it.”
I remember when I first discovered that I loved to write. I enjoyed jotting down faraway worlds and characters that were only a figment of my imagination. I wished to write for the rest of my life; I just wanted to write. But one need not tell me my chances of becoming a writer; I already know they are slim. We cannot all follow after next J.K. Rowling and have a book and movie franchise to sit comfortably on to the end of time. Maybe I was different, though. Maybe I could do it.
“So, you’ll work at Starbucks then?” Mocked by my father, who I assumed would support my decisions and cheer me on as I worked towards my dreams. I had finally worked up the nerve to tell him, an environmental engineer, that I wanted to major in English. His words left me heartbroken. I wanted him to support me; I wanted him to believe in me. His comment made me doubt myself, but he also made me more determined. With that scathing remark, I decided I would prove him wrong.
Doubt continued on with me, though. I had a voice in my head that would always remind me that my chances were slim and that I may never achieve what I so desperately wished for. The beacon of light in such a dark moment came in such an unsuspecting way. I saw a picture of a friend’s television, a photo of the Disney show Jessie. I recognized a boy in the picture whom I had briefly known while at Jefferson Middle School. The picture left me shocked. I had known that he wanted to act and now I saw that he had achieved his very own dream, no matter how small the feat. If he could do it, then so could I.
People all have hopes and dreams, something they plan to do in their lives. And, like me, some people are met with obstacles and others who want nothing more than to push them elsewhere. But I believe that anything can be achieved, no matter how impossible. When I feel strongly about something that I cannot describe the feeling, I know there is still hope for that dream to become reality. I have yet to become an author, but I firmly hold onto the belief that I can and will do it, no matter how small the accomplishment.