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by John
Rated: E · Essay · Satire · #1909194
Where to spend the end
As everyone knows, the Mayan calendar ends on Friday, and so will the world. This makes December 21st a very special day, but the questions is - December 21st when and where?

There are 39 times zones in the world, so Friday will come at different times in many different places. Will the world end all at once when the first time zone hits midnight on Friday? Or will the apocalypse creep across the globe from time zone to time zone like one of those Spanish ships of war that brought the end of the world to the Mayans. I think the later, so that gives us all time to prepare for where we might want to go to watch this special event.

If you're a survivalist, you might want to consider the Republic of Kiribati in the Pacific Ocean. It borders the International Date Line to the east, so you can grab a beach chair on the west side, face east and watch the chaos and destruction spread across the horizon. But don't worry; twelve hours later it will creep up on you from behind.

If you're an early adopter - you know - those people who wait at the Apple store to be the first to get a new iPhone, just go to Kiribati and take one baby step east and be the first to the dance.

For those of a more biblical persuasion, you can't beat the Valley of Megiddo in Israel, which in Hebrew is had megiddo ; better know as Armageddon. A little background is in order:

Back in the day, God expelled Adam and Eve from the Garden for not sticking to the diet (they should have been on Atkins - they probably would have passed up the fruit and eaten the snake). Two thousand or so years later God sent himself down as his own son on a suicide mission to lift the curse. This was the beginning of an end-time rivalry that lasts to this day - Jesus versus the anti-Christ.

On Friday in the Valley of Megiddo, Jesus will lead an army of angels against the anti-Christ and his army of demons. If this end-time scenario plays out, it means that the anti-Christ is already amongst us. No one knows who he is, but if I had to bet, I would put my money on Rex Ryan. If this is true, Rex will have to go to battle without the services of Tim Tebow, who has decided to dress for the other side.

The opening gun will sound there at 5:00PM EST on December 20th.

Here are some other cool suggestions for places to enjoy the end, with times that the party will start (all times US East Coast):

Stonehenge:  December 20th 7:00PM
Machu Picchu (Mayan ruins): Midnight New York time
Chicen Itza (ditto): December 20th 11:00PM
Easter Island: Midnight New York time (nothing to do with the Mayans, but those statues were made by the aliens who were the ancestors to the human race, so that's pretty cool)
The Great Pyramids: December 20th 5:00PM (included here because they were made by the same aliens who made the Easter Island statues)

For those who believe that Stonehenge and the Mayan ruins were also made by aliens - get real! We're talking reality here.

Some say the world will not end, and that the Mayan calendar simply starts over again every 5000 or so years. I don't buy it - if this was true, there would be a Mayan calendar store in every mall.

I have my own calendar - it's stuck to my refrigerator. It runs out on December 31, so I have 10 more days than everyone else.

Goodbye everyone.
© Copyright 2012 John (jforrester1208 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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