Living with your past
|When looking at the stars in the night sky, it's like looking into the past. Most of the stars you are looking at have already died. A constant reminder of your past, and all of your dead dreams and aspirations. Living with regrets that are eating you alive. The past is the past, but why is it so hard to let go? Everyone always tells you to focus on the present, or prepare for your future, but how come no one ever says anything about your past, except to learn from it. It has shaped you into the person you are today, but what if you aren't happy with the person you are? You can even recall the exact moment you felt everything turn for the worst, but why? Why did everything have to go to shit? I would give anything just to go back to that moment in time. Yes you can learn from your past, but that still doesn't change anything. You can never get that moment back, all you can do is try to never recreate that same mistake. But you will never have a chance in your life to meet that same situation. You need to live with the fact that one decision can affect you for the rest of your life. So how can you focus on your present when everyday is a reminder of your past? Your past is your defining factor. You are not your future, you are not your present, you are your past. Every day of your life has accumulated into where you are today. You are every bit of your past. So if everything is so awful, then why even continue? Why do you continue to drudgingly move on with your life? Hope. Hope is all you have. You hope for a brighter day, hope for a better tomorrow, hope that things will finally start going your way, and you hope that your hope doesn't run out. You tell yourself that you are here on this earth for a reason. But what is this reason? You are a speck in the framework of time, and you and every other speck living, and every speck in the past have made the world into what it is today. What makes one speck more important than the other? There are billions of other specks currently on this planet. Millions of specks are being created in this exact moment, as well as millions of specks moving into oblivion. In 1000 years, will anyone remember who you are? Hell, in 50 years will anybody remember who you are? What makes you perpetually move on with your days? You have to believe in yourself, you need to be there for yourself, rely on no others and believe you have a purpose that you have yet to figure out. So yes, looking at the stars are like looking into your past, but those glimmering stars can also provide you with a glimmer of hope; that one day, even though you may have burned out, your light continues to shine.
P.s. Sorry if this is kind of jumbled, I wrote it on my phone and it was hard to go back and edit as I went.