A date that went totally pear shaped
So, a date, it is my first in a while,
I have the food, the wine and a big smile.
One glass of wine before I get ready,
Oops that was two, need to keep steady.
Before long there is a knock at the door,
I haven't even tidied, look at my floor!
I can hardly stand up, what will he think?
The kitchen, dishes piled up in the sink!
I open the door equipped with my charms,
Tripped on the rug and fell straight in his arms.
Oh dear that was not the best greeting,
and this being our very first meeting!
We sit at the table, dinner for two,
how did I burn it? It was only stew!
He kept looking at me, but not impressed,
then I realized, I'm not even dressed!
Off to the bathroom I hastily trot,
come out looking gorgeous? I think not.
Apart from my hair still in a mess,
there's a hole right in the front of my dress.
I picked up the bottle and offered him wine,
felt most indignant when he made his decline.
Then came excuses, said he had to leave,
I said "OK, nice to have met you Steve."
He looked like a mad man, totally insane,
and told me that Steve was not his name.
I cannot say how embarrassed I felt,
under the floor boards I wanted to melt.
One last goodbye and a look of disgust,
I shan't be seeing him again, I trust?