Ending a war

Ending a war within myself

My life had become a war within myself, rupturing my heart and mind. I took a sharp look at the person I use to be, in the mirror. I had become a monster, destroying my relationship with my family, friends, and most importantly, myself. I was not satisfied with the person I had become lately. This was not the young lady my parents had created. I grabbed a notebook that had been beside my bed, and began to write. Explaining the way my mind was rolling around inside my constricted head. About how I couldn’t handle this, any of this anymore. I was expecting a gift, a gift from God. Most defiantly a surprise, but I didn’t want to ruin that insistent thing. Such a precious gift to receive, but I didn’t want to do it. I couldn’t do it, even if I tried. I wasn’t capable of caring for another body, heart. I could barely care for myself as it was. A child was a mistake on my part, I was not going to let another soul take after me. Tonight I would stop this curse that was about to take over. Getting the gun, pulling the trigger. Ending this war.