Gone

What happens once you pass?

Letting my blood boil
And my pain fester
Yeah I'm depressed
But my silent cries of distress
Are no use
I think of happier times
Then I envision my sudden passing
All those that'd have regrets
On living as though my life was everlasting
Didn't say they love me Before I left
Didn't ask me that question
Before I was laid to rest
I come to you with a heavy heart
Tears in my eyes
And as I cry
All I can say is why?
Why does this constantly eat away at my conscience
Conjuring sadness
Perpetuating nightmares
Withering my hope into a mere morsel of the person I once was
Happy
A winner
Smart
Friendly
Honest
The list goes on and on
Inquisition is something I kept
But I fear it's for the worst
No longer thinking how I'm gonna better the earth
Thinking of the day I'm buried in dirt
Suffice to say I'm not ready to die
I am willing to survive
God has blessed me with gifts
Dealt me some pains
Some lasting forever
Some pass as the seasons change
I take a deep breath
Swallow every bit of doubt
As I move one step closer
To you having to live without