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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/1967684
Rated: 18+ · Poetry · Holiday · #1967684
A parody of the Twelve Days of Christmas
On the first day of Christmas my Secret Santa gave me,
a tofu turkey stuffed with poison ivy berries.

On the second day of Christmas my Secret Santa gave me,
two electric pet rock heater,
and a tofu turkey stuffed with poison ivy berries.

On the third day of Christmas my Secret Santa gave me,
three three red. yellow, and black coral snakes,
two electric pet rock heaters,
and a tofu turkey stuffed with poison ivy berries.

On the fourth day of Christmas my Secret Santa gave me,
four pairs of fundies.
three three red. yellow, and black coral snakes,
two electric pet rock heaters,
and a tofu turkey stuffed with poison ivy berries.

On the fifth day of Christmas my Secret Santa gave me,
five maxed out credit cards,
four pairs of fundies.
three three red. yellow, and black coral snakes,
two electric pet rock heaters,
and a tofu turkey stuffed with poison ivy berries.

On the sixth day of Christmas my Secret Santa gave me,
six ugly Santa Claus zombie sweaters,
five maxed out credit cards,
four pairs of fundies.
three three red. yellow, and black coral snakes,
two electric pet rock heaters,
and a tofu turkey stuffed with poison ivy berries.

On the seventh day of Christmas my Secret Santa gave me,
seven screeching ghouls,
six ugly Santa Claus zombie sweaters,
five maxed out credit cards,
four pairs of fundies.
three three red. yellow, and black coral snakes,
two electric pet rock heaters,
and a tofu turkey stuffed with poison ivy berries.

On the eighth day of Christmas my Secret Santa gave me,
eight vampire reindeer,
seven screeching ghouls,
six ugly Santa Claus zombie sweaters,
five maxed out credit cards,
four pairs of fundies.
three three red. yellow, and black coral snakes,
two electric pet rock heaters,
and a tofu turkey stuffed with poison ivy berries.

On the ninth day of Christmas my Secret Santa gave me,
nine stopped up toilets,
eight vampire reindeer,
seven screeching ghouls,
six ugly Santa Claus zombie sweaters,
five maxed out credit cards,
four pairs of fundies.
three three red. yellow, and black coral snakes,
two electric pet rock heaters,
and a tofu turkey stuffed with poison ivy berries.

On the tenth day of Christmas my Secret Santa gave me,
ten tasteless tons of toad soup,
nine stopped up toilets,
eight vampire reindeer,
seven screeching ghouls,
six ugly Santa Claus zombie sweaters,
five maxed out credit cards,
four pairs of fundies.
three three red. yellow, and black coral snakes,
two electric pet rock heaters,
and a tofu turkey stuffed with poison ivy berries.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my Secret Santa gave me,
eleven marbled granite fruitcakes,
ten tasteless tons of toad soup,
nine stopped up toilets,
eight vampire reindeer,
seven screeching ghouls,
six ugly Santa Claus zombie sweaters,
five maxed out credit cards,
four pairs of fundies.
three three red. yellow, and black coral snakes,
two electric pet rock heaters,
and a tofu turkey stuffed with poison ivy berries.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my Secret Santa gave me,
twelve tangled strings of totally useless Christmas lights,
eleven marbled granite fruitcakes,
ten tasteless tons of toad soup,
nine stopped up toilets,
eight vampire reindeer,
seven screeching ghouls,
six ugly Santa Claus zombie sweaters,
five maxed out credit cards,
four pairs of fundies.
three three red. yellow, and black coral snakes,
two electric pet rock heaters,
and a tofu turkey stuffed with poison ivy berries.
© Copyright 2013 Prosperous Snow Thankful (nfdarbe at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/1967684