by Big angel
I hope this would decrease the fire a little bit
|Little angel the past few hours have been nothing but hell. The inability to talk to you itself is considered as a method of torturing. Not knowing how you feel, not knowing what you’re doing, not knowing what you did in your day is like hell to me. I want to apologize to you in each and every language, I never meant to hurt you. I wish I could turn back time. I know that you’re mad at me, and you have every right. I wish i could hold you in my arms and tell you everything will be ok. My utter fear lies within your relation with your mum. I know it’s not the best these days and I know that I’m the reason. I keep thinking of the moment that I would see you when you return, are you going to be happy to see me or mad? Are you going to talk to me or not? And although I’m very concerned about this, yet I’m more concerned about your psychological status now. I’m more concerned on how to fix what I have messed up. Words fail me now, plans fail me now, love fails me now, each and every aspect in this life is failing me.
The physical pain has started to kick in, yet I don’t care what happens to me. If suicide was ok with God, believe me I wouldn’t have hesitated after losing your love. Anyway, I hope that you are better than before and I hope that you’re not suffering much. I would never hesitate to transfer the suffering of your soul to mine, at least then I would know that I would be helping in some way instead of being useless. Little angel I know it’s hard on you. Please stick in there and be strong. I lived through your love. I would rather die than seeing someone hurting you because of me. I'm so sorry.