What could Grandad Have Stored? And Why?
|Constant 1 Dec 1950
TIME RENTALS, LLC
London, Lisbon, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Beijing, Munich, Zurich, Santa Fe, Flagstaff, Calgary, Anchorage, Buenos Aires, Recife, Lima, Praetoria, Auckland, Melbourne, Krakow, Moscow, Berlin, Vatican City, Paris, Copenhagen, Oslo, Reyjkyavic, Oak Island, Cairo, Istanbul, Arkham, Gotham, Mandalay, Oshkosh.
RENTAL AGREEMENT, PERPETUITA: RADIUS 200 YEARS
It is hereby agreed that the space described below is set aside for the sole use of Mr. John Owen Coffin, Sr., Mr. John Owen Coffin, Jr., Mr. Vincent Coffin, and Dr. Elias F. Gloriosky, and will remain undisturbed by any measure barring natural disaster or act of war from this the First Day of December A.D. 1950 until the Last Day of November A.D. 2350, with the center of the radius being 1 DEC 2150, whereat will be anchored an AetherPostiale Model 21 Sliptube, provided by the above mentioned lessors, and installed at their expense and risk.
The space is described as one (1) 1728 cubic foot storage space, located at 29 D 45 M North/95 D 21 M West. The uppermost Northwest Corner of the space will be at those coordinates, 15' below grade, with the Southwest Corner lying 12' south, thence East 12' to the Southeast Corner, thence North 12' to the Northeast Corner, thence West 12' returning to the Northwest Corner.
Provided with the unit are 4 keys, marked with the symbols of Silver, Mercury, Tin, and Copper. Access to the locking mechanism for the space can only be revealed in the presence of one of these four keys.
Additional keys are not available under any circumstances, and it is advised that only the four individuals named above enter the space.
Storage of items is undertaken at the sole risk and responsibility of the above named individuals. Managers of this agreement will not be held responsible for safe conduct to or from the facility, or for the safekeeping of any item or items remaining unattended in the facility.
ABSOLUTELY NO WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION ARE ALLOWED TO BE STORED IN THE ABOVE MENTIONED SPACE INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO:
Fissionable Materials, High-Mass Electrical Weapons greater than 5,000,000 Volt yield, Conflagration Engines, Cloud Weapons, Tesla Coils > 200' output radius, Tanks > 10 tons, explosive devices with a larger than 5 Kiloton yield.
In short, be good neighbors with your fellow storage unit clients.
________________________________ John Owen Coffin, Sr.
________________________________ John Owen Coffin, Jr.
________________________________ Vincent Coffin
________________________________ Elias F. Gloriosky, Ph.D.
Signator, Representative of Time Rentals, LLC
________________________________ Harold Oxley, Esq.