by K. Larson
moving to hill country among the back woods
|Jamie here he comes and he looks as if he already knows your leaving and going to be moving back to Texas. "Karen stop! He can't know my plans already!" He hasn't even spoken to me since we came back from Reno the night we broke up. "He called me and asked if I would be willing to go to dinner with him tonight. I thought what perfect timing since I just gave my two weeks notice to my boss here at the firm."
"Arnie how are you? I am glad to see you." He placed a showy kiss on my left cheek for all the office to see. He looks good for his age, of 62. Dressed neatly as always, blue soft cotton shirt which causes his blues eyes to sparkle bright. Deep blue slacks pressed perfect, freshly shaved, and smiling like he owns me. "Oh that just burns me up how he thinks it would take so little to win my heart back with his cooing and showy affection." I am a 42 year old widow not a homely old maid, my relationship or lack of one with him was my decision not his.
"Jamie are you ready to go? Our reservations are for 6 so I will meet you at the elevator." Jamie smiled and began grabbing her bag and jacket. "So where are we going tonight?" "I believe you have wanted to eat at that new place in Burley." Oh yes that sounds great, everyone in the office talks about that place all the time. "Arnie I am so glad you called today and asked me out to dinner because".
Arnie perked up and started speaking over Jamie. "yes I felt we have had enough of a cool off period and felt you would be ready to look at our relationship more reasonably" Jamie gasped and felt like her temper was about to blow. Silently Jamie toyed with herself
as to whether or not to even tell Arnie about this life changing decision to move down to Texas. Being positive that this subject would put the mood in a rough place between them when he realized that the move was decided with out his input. "Are you giving me the silent treatment?" "No Arnie, I am sorry just got lost in my own thinking." "Well to continue with what I was saying baby I have missed you and I know we ended things abruptly a few months ago and I would like to start over with our eyes wide open. So what do you say?"
The car door swung open the valet greeted Jamie's surprised look holding an umbrella to shield the snow from her head. "Welcome to Mountain View." Thank you Jamie replied as she stepped inside the beautiful entry way to what was only the beginning of what is a master piece of decorated rustic mining equipment and railroad replica. "Wow this is like strolling through a museum" "Arnie come look at the view of the mountain's I love it!" Warm strong arms softly wrapped her up and it felt so familiar. Sinking into his arms was very easy to do. Softly he kisses her neck. "Sir your table is ready."
The room had very tall ceiling which was highlighted by the full length glass wall facing the mountain. Red and Gold was the main colors of décor among the room. But nothing could pull a persons eyes away from the mountains and snow which was very well framed from the glass windows. "Arnie I must say this is truly the best place you have ever taken me and we haven't even eaten yet."
"This view is amazing and I appreciate you going to all this trouble for tonight's dinner, but I do have something I need to tell you and I am not sure how your going to feel about the news I have. But here I go. Arnie I have put in my two weeks notice this morning and I am moving to Texas. The silence fell hard as he looked out the glass window up at the mountain and the fresh falling snow. "Jamie what has happened to you or should I say what is going on? These mountains the cool weather and certainly the snow are all the things you love the most about Idaho. I am taken fully by surprise and even feeling shocked. I feel like your not telling me something. How did things change so fast for you, are you aware at your age getting another job as great as your job now may never come along. Especially in Texas."
Jamie's thoughts began whirling at the very thought that he thinks of her as too old to gain employment again, plus didn't he even think that I would look for a job before jumping into a new venture! "Okay Arnie I realize this is a shock but I was planning to tell you soon. Then you called and I found my opening to discuss this with you in person instead of over the phone." Hey what do you mean I won't be able to get a good job! I already have a interview In Brady for a position at a firm there."
The rest of the evening fell sharply to a dull silent drive home and a quick good night. Not really sure what I was hoping for from him I know we have something special but we are both hard driven adults. Arnie made me feel like I should be question my reasoning for relocating. Doesn't he remember asking me why I live so far away from a family like mine? Who loves each other so deeply and we miss each other.
Sunday church was a wave of thoughts that whirled wildly through my mind. Finally the Bishop asked me if he could be an open ear to help me filter through my thoughts. Arriving home after a sweet spiritual day the smell of pot roast filled the air. Soon the kids would be in to demand some of momma's Sunday dinner.
Smiling and chopping salad to Sunday tunes A ringing phone stops all. Hello! yes I am leaving in three days and its Texas bound for this girl coming home. Bye daddy I love you too. see you soon!
Okay kids lunch is ready lets pray and then over lunch we can plan out how we are going to get the truck loaded so we can get on the road Wednesday morning. This means we sleep on the floor Tuesday night which will leave only a few things to load the next morning. Robert stomps out of the room mumbling "why can't we just spent some of the survivor insurance money to hire people to move us and just get a room?" The other three kids followed suit grumbling and fussing the same ideas.
Wednesday morning as we loaded our last few things onto the truck my body hurt so bad I was limping to slowly get my back to loosen up. I began wishing I wasn't trying so hard to save the insurance money for the kids college and just hired someone to move us. I know my late husband would have never wanted me to do all this for myself and made sure there was money to care for me very well. It was times like these that I find myself rethinking every move I make. This is what made my relationship with Arnie so easy him being a widower himself we shared a similar pain. Well I have got to stop now I am missing my sweetheart and Arnie both. Tears slowly falling and my heart aching. "In walks Robert mom you ok? yes. I am ok just feeling change as a common factor in our lives lately and its so heavy on my heart.
"Well trouble just drove up and he looks surprised that we are loaded." Robert mumbled my direction.
"Good morning Jamie his smile showing signs of pain in his heart." I am surprised you came this morning so glad you didn't miss us, we are about to pull out." What with out even a soft kiss goodbye?" No silly I could use that right now so bad.
Taking me by my hand we strolled to the back yard. our arms became tangled and the kiss was warm and sweet and continued for a long moment. Finally as we parted our eyes both filled with soft tears at the silent goodbye being said between us. "Jamie your a strong willed woman that makes me crazy and I have yet to even come close to understanding you and what makes you go so strong willed and why you think you have to do everything for your self. Hell woman I am mad and angry and even proud of your drive to be a strong woman.
"Please don't go I bet you could get your job back and I will unload this truck myself. I swear! I will even learn to love Robert and James. You know the two girls are a breeze but the boys despise me I guess they felt like I was taking their dads place so we butted heads. I will build the house you want with no reserve and I will make life special and anything else you asked of me. Please, please, take a moment and think this through." this has all happened too fast!
"Oh Arnie! I love everything you said and you have no idea how much that means to me but ... but.... Kiss me please hold me let me feel your warm body close to mine for a little longer. Oh how I long for this often." Tears now flowing fast I got to go Bye! B-y-e!
Load up kids let get going. Robby you drive the mini Van and Jessie you ride with me Brandy and Jason get in the van and keep your brother awake. It's a long trip and now its off to Texas. Everyone has to wear their seat belt.
Looking back at the house now for sale and Arnie standing in the yard looking so lost and yet he couldn't say what I needed to hear. So this new change or as I like to put it "a new adventure in our lives" . Plus being closer to the family it’s a win, win situation. Right?
The U-Haul's motor comes to a ruff roar from the cold Idaho air. Even from the rumbling of this huge truck and me grinding gears the music streaming out of the van still penetrated all the way to me. Jessie I hope those kids still have their ear drums left in tack after listening to that loud stuff.
Is Robby still behind us now that we turned on the main street? Yes mom, he and that loud music! Make sure we don't lose him I have to go by my office one last time they said I left something I in my desk I wouldn't want to leave it behind.
Nancy stood watching me in the monster size moving truck pull up to door smiling at me with a near joking look on her face. I instructed everyone to stay in the truck and van till I returned. Nancy motioned me over to my old desk now occupied by Annette my least favorite co-worker. She swooped down to pull out the fan I had under the desk and handed it to me I hate this thing take it with you, and Nancy said we had to give you this dusty envelope addressed to you.
Why was it found now Annette? She shook her shoulders as if to say hell if I know. Nancy just said it was found under the filing cabinet at your old desk. I have one thing to say it sure is dusty must have been there for months. Guess I have been right all along that the corner needed to be cleaned up. Even with Annette’s smug attitude directed towards me I still felt so glad that Nancy called me to come back by to pick this up. I won’t miss the smug attitude of my favorite co-worker Annette.
Waving my goodbyes for a second time to many friends I had made while working at the firm I wiped away my tears and loaded back up in the very large moving truck. Now more importantly what was in this unopened letter from my husband’s father? It was postmarked 4 months ago! Wow this is crazy.
Now lets get going and find our way back to Texas because this letter has been unopened now for 4 months so I can open this letter later tonight when we stop for the night. The bumps in this big truck is awful so hold on we will swing on the freeway and set the cruise. Now for some good tunes like Tim McGraw. Jessie lets burn up some highway hope your brother can keep up.
I love driving towards the mountains and around the foothills even though this truck gets a little cranky climbing the hills with the weight of all our belongs. Its hard to believe that twenty years of our life or should I say my life now inside a U-haul. Being widow doesn't come easy it gets my emotions flip floppy. It is our life in this truck except you have left me with all this to do by myself.
James you left this earth without even a little simple goodbye! You didn't even appear to me in spirit. Which would scare the holy Hell out of me so I guess I am relived you didn't just appear to me cause you know I am scared of ghost; but don't you wanna come to me in my dreams? Damn I miss you so much James do you hear me?